Mi Vida "in English"

Oh Children ...

2011-01-25T20:05:00.000-08:00

Today was one of those days, the roll-coaster of emotions was huge ... I was mean to my husband, I was mad at myself, I was mad at the world and then I took time to hold my babies, after we ate I didn't clean up the dishes, instead I just went and played with my kids and that was so therapeutic. "Captain America" came to save me and sister, his wonderful sword was magic and he was able to cut chains, kill bad guys and make it all better for us and boy he did!!!!! Before I knew it I was relaxed, I took the time to lay on the couch and we enjoyed Tom & Jerry, we snuggle together in his bed after we said our prayers, I told him his two favorite stories - Jack & the Beanstalk and Little Red Riding-hood - amazingly I got my kitchen clean up in no time, I had no interruptions, no "Moooooooooommy come see this!!!" "MOMMY ... I'm ready! Wipe me!!" "Mooooommy can you please come and play with me??" etc ... I was relaxed, I was happy and I am so thankful for my children!! (I need to do this more often)

The same children that add stress to a marriage, the same children that sometimes don't let us take one step without holding on to our legs, the same children that we dream of having and that some days we wish they were grown and then one day when they are grown we wish we could make little again ... the same children we can't imagine our lives without.

Tonight I treasure the times I had with them ...

What we've been up to ...

2010-10-25T12:14:00.000-07:00

Once again I find myself with so much to share on here that I really don't know where to start.

E m i l i a

My sweet girl is 8 months, I CAN NOT begin to realize that, I read it, I say it, I see it but I CAN NOT believe it, seems like yesterday I had a sweet little newborn in my arms and now ... boy now I have a non-stop crawler, a companion who stays with me while I cook or fold clothes or put my make up on. (whenever I get to do that :)) She's the sweetest little girl, smiles constantly, crawls around freely, if she wants something she just goes and gets it, she's my little independent child but yet she's the one that stays with me too.
She's clapping, trying to stand, she still LOVES her bath time or any water related activity. She had her first swimming experience at her brother's 4th birthday party. She enjoys eating - wouldn't expect it any other way - still nurses in the morning and at night. Survived her first VERY LONG ride, all the way to DC. Got on a merry-go-round and held on tight to the post and love every minute of it. She does not like to get in her car seat and is very clear expressing it too - she has her Momma's ways, we can't hide our emotions :) which is not a bad thing in my opinion. What you see is what you get.

Enjoying an apple

N i c o l a s
My sweet boy is 4, far from a baby, a preschooler, before I know it he will be going to Kindergarten, I'm thankful we do have another extra year before that happens, if he had not been born in September he would have started school next year and oh how thankful I am we can postpone that for another year, I am not ready for that day! Not at all. Could I home school? hehehehe no I'm not patient enough and he needs to experience real life out there.

He loves to play with his toys - Toy Story figures, trains, superheroes, pretending we are in the middle of an imaginary world, he talks about his friends that work with him at the farm house - total imaginary - he told me he was going to sing at a show in Applebee's and one of his teachers was going to be the lead singer. I hope that imagination doesn't stop! He loves to go places "as a family", he is always asking "where are we going after my nap?" Yes, he still naps and I treasure that :), "are we going as a family?" He asks me to pick him up at night when he's tired and I still carry him to the couch in the morning where I have his milk ready - one morning I heard him say "but Daddy, when you fix my milk is cold, I like for mommy to fix it for me" goodness I think I've spoiled the boy but hey, isn't that my job? :) We are only little once and I did treasure my warm milk each morning growing up, I won't tell my kids that I drank from a bottle until I was 4 or 5 years old and no I never needed braces, thank you very much!!

We celebrated his 4th birthday with a pool party, this was the first time he's had a party outside his house and he was so excited, he loves water, he loves to have a birthday, he prays all year long for his birthday - "... and for all the presents I'm gonna get for my birthday" that is his prayer all year long, I've tried to tell him to pray for people, the first time I told him that he said "and God I pray for me!" :)
Some time has been by since then and now he says "and God I pray for a person named ______" which could be anyone, a friend, a teacher, a family member, so at least he's making the effort to include real people in his prayers!

He is still my picky eater, although when you serve him what he likes he could eat it all and more, his favorite foods are spaghetti, bread, boxed mac-n-cheese, chicken nuggets, chicken cooked in any way, green beans, apple sauce and his absolute favorite is breakfast - scramble eggs, sausage and biscuits - he will not eat hot dogs, he had started to like hamburgers as long as it is dipped in ketchup, no veggies, some fruit :( he LOVES milk, he could drink it all the time everyday, just like his mom and dad, when all four of us can drink milk I'm afraid a gallon won't last but a couple of days.

My men ( Emilia is in her stroller sleeping) at our DC trip

I see my days flying by, I find myself trying to contain my kids from growing any faster than it already feels. I want my children to be children for a long time. Not sure I'll succeed this battle but to me is worth fighting it. In a world that promotes independence, self sufficiency and all this do it yourself type of life, I want to baby my babies as much as I can. I want to teach them that life is not easy yet I want them to remember the comforts of mom and dad and being at home "as a family".

This is an "ALL TIME favorite picture", it's blurry but it shows how happy they are together

We all grow too fast, I'm sure my mom still remembers the days when I was my kids' age and here I am now, a mother of two, making the balance act between all of my roles in life, some days are hard, some days are easy but every day is worth it. The struggles help us to grow, to learn, to try again and we continue to live life the best we can with what we have, which is always way more than what we need.

Family picture at Nicolas' 4th birthday party

When HE talks to me

2010-10-25T11:10:00.000-07:00

I love when God uses my children to get my attention. Here's just one example.

Last night I was having a little bit of a stressful moment when my SWEET 4 year old started singing "When I fall down, HE picks me up .. when I fall down, HE picks me up" as he did the motions falling dramatically on the floor and then cheerfully getting up, I smiled, my stupid stress was just like that ... stupid, why do we do that to our selves? what does it matter that it was getting late and we were just then eating breakfast for supper and that my 8 month old baby did not want to be sleeping in her crib, instead she wanted to be crawling on the floor and drooling over the silliness of her big brother whom she adores.

So I did, I got her out of her crib, let her crawl some more, admire her brother, we finished eating our breakfast for supper and I asked Nicolas who was HE? - just to double check you know? - he gave me a funny look like "I know you know who HE is but I'll tell you anyway mom" - he answer me by simply saying GOD!

Yes, thank you GOD for speaking to me through my sweet boy.

This morning I was getting a little uptight again, the time ... yes we were late for school AGAIN (Gosh can I not be on time for once, it doesn't matter what time I get up I always end up leaving the house a little too late) but I remembered what Nicolas told me last night and I really didn't want to throw a fit in front of my kids (trust me, it wouldn't have been the first time) so I tried to stay calm, I said a little prayer and off we went, we started singing our kids songs in the car "I'm a skunk, I'm in your trunk and I'm stinking up your automobile" ... now if that doesn't make you smile then it's really a bad day, right? and little ways down the road he asked me "Mommy, are you all better now?" I smiled again and said Yes baby, I'm much better now, he smiled big and we kept on with our singing. Oh my Nicolas, you are so so so special to me, I know GOD has made us all with a purpose and in His perfect image, I can't wait to see you shine for Him as you already are without even knowing it.

I love you son!

Superheroes!!!!

2010-08-19T06:41:00.000-07:00

We've been trying to explain to Nicolas that superheroes are not real, that what you see on TV even though it looks very real is not, Matt told him your toys can't talk, they are not real, Nicolas said "yes they can, look ... " as he pushed the button on Buzz and the little toy talked, Matt told him, ok but he can't answer you questions, look "Buzz, how are you today?" as he pushed the button and buzz answered the same recording phrase.

Matt tried to tell him "real superheroes" are firemen or policemen or nurses or people that do good to others without waiting anything in return, you could tell his little wheels were turning but for the talk we had last night I think we are going to have to reinforce this topic a whole lot more :)

Me: "Nicolas, is there anything you would like to talk about tonight?"
Nicolas: "Uhm ... superheroes!!!"

Me: "Ok ... what do you like about Superheroes?"
N: "When I grow up I want to be one ..."

M: oh really?
N: Yes I want to be the kind that flies!!!!!!

M: Oh I wish I could fly too, that way I could go visit my mom in Chile whenever I feel like seeing her. (Mom has been with us for 3 months and a week, she's leaving this coming Sat)
N: YEAH MOMMY, I LIKE THAT TOO!! I'm going to wear shoes and looooong socks! What are you going to wear mommy?

M: Uhm, boots (I'm thinking about wonder woman, man I wish I could have her little waist!)
N: What else?
M: a cape
N: What else?
M: gloves

N: MOMMY I LOVE YOU!!!
M: I love you too my boy!!

Welcome to my drama moment

2010-07-09T11:57:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel pulled in every direction?

Do you ever realized that you feel that way 

because YOU put that upon yourself?

Do you love so much that it hurts?

Do you which you had more hours in the day

to spend it with those you love?

Do you ever let the guilt take over your good spirits and every thought you have ends up in a guilt trip you put yourself through?

You do? it stinks doesn't it

The good news is that after this melodrama plays in your head and you've had a good cry in public and everyone at the restaurant is looking at you, men look at you with that "I feel sorry for your husband" look and women look at you with a "Gosh she could at least waited 'til she got in her car to do it" look you begin to see the light and you realized you are just tired and the queen of drama queens and is nothing that you haven't been through before and nothing that a good ice cream bar wouldn't fixed.

So after having my good cry in public and in the car and in the bathroom at work and at my desk ... yes I cried a lot ... after eating my ice cream bar, after crying to my coworker and confidant, after praying (why do we do this at last, although I did kinda pray while I was crying out loud in my car but it wasn't really a prayer it was more like a "God Why Does It Have To Be This Way!!" and God tells you, do you remember your friend who's husband been in the hospital for four weeks??? YES THAT'S A DRAMA to ask Why Me not your silly pity party) and after I got calmed enough to blog about it I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.

Having that kind a day too, don't feel lonely ... we all have them!

Great 4th

2010-07-06T18:46:00.000-07:00

Did you have a good 4th?
We sure did!!
As any great long weekend I'm wore out
so this is all I can do for now,
may be in a few days I'll have enough energy
to put a post with more words in it

From The Mouth of My Boy!!

2010-06-30T08:22:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday Nicolas and I went to church by ourselves and there was no one to keep Mission Friends so he went with me into "big church" and let me tell you it was a treat, aside from the fact that it was only me and him together, no husband, no baby, just US!! he was so sweet and funny.

Nicolas: "Mommy, where is Pastor Mike?"
Me: Well he's away on a Mission Trip
N: Is he gone bathtizing people?
M: (wow son I love how you are putting all this together) Uhm yes I'm hoping some get bathtize this week where he is!

As the service began, music started playing and he said:
"Mommy, I don't want you to sing"
My response? I'm sorry son, Mommy loves to sing so I'm going to sing but if you don't feel like singing you don't have to do it. He just looked at me and said OK.

Later the young pastor that was preaching started his sermon, he said "Jesus did ..." and Nicolas open his big eyes and said "So what did JESUS DO NOW???" almost like HE got in trouble or something, the people sitting behind us were having a blast with my little commentary :) and I did too!!

We kissed and hugged, he sat on my lap, he colored, ate some goldfish, sat on my lap again. In the midst of all this he whispered in my ear "Mommy we ARE chapelling" and smiled big.
After that I realized there was a couple who has twins that are about the age of my son and they weren't with them so I figured someone must of been taking care of the children so I asked Nicolas if he would like to go back there and of course he said yes, as we were leaving he turned around, stood right in the middle of the door and gave bye, that young pastor must of made quite an impression on my little boy! I love how is mind is thinking, I love how he can't get quite and has to ask so many question (yes sometimes I get tired but I love his curiosity!).

OH HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU MY BOY!!

It's been a loooong time

2010-06-30T08:05:00.000-07:00

Wow a LOT has happened since the last time I sat down to update on this blog, let's on even talk about the last time I posted something on my other blog but anyway, let's see ... that day after Nicolas and I had our date, well Nana had an accident and broke her leg right in front of our eyes, there I found myself with my baby, my toddler, my nephew and Poppie, trying to stay calm and figuring out what to do, my nephew lost it, Nicolas just looked confused and tried to calm his cousin down, my baby girl just sat tight in her car seat enjoying the view of the outdoors as any baby her age would, Poppie and I were trying to see what to do, he has a bad back and there is no way I could pull Nana up all by myself so we started calling everyone and as it is in these cases, no one answer, we were about to call the ambulance when I finally found somebody and Matt came flying in, neighbors came too and off they went to the hospital.
That weekend my mom came, YES my MOM is HERE!!!!!

This sweet encounter took place at the airport where we were anxiously waiting for these two to meet!!! I think their smiles say it all, right? "Abuelita" is here, Nicolas and Emilia can't get enough of her, Nicolas knows that when I tell him he needs to wait for me to get his juice or start his bath or whatever it is he wants he calls Abuelita and his wish is made in an instant ... I know, one day I'll be a grandmother too and I'll be spoiling my grand kids just as she is doing with our children :)

It's been a blessing - a huge one - to have my mom here but the fact that Emilia got dedicated while Mom's here is even bigger (Thank you Lord for doing all this for us). Yes our baby girl got dedicated with a bunch of other children from our church, she did well, she looked adorable and she got a cold after wearing her fancy dress with no onesie underneath too.

On Mother's day 2007 Nicolas got dedicated, back then he was the only baby, he was 8 months old and he had his "shining" moment when our Pastor put the oil on him he made this sweet sound and the whole church heard him, they smiled and awwwed (that's not a word I know!!). Emilia had her sweet moment too, although this time the whole congregation couldn't hear her because she wasn't the only one (guess she knows this is how it is when you are the 2nd child) but she did made the sweetest cooing sound when she got anointed!! Nicolas was concerned if the oil was going to hurt sister, then when he touched her forehead he said "Eeewww ... it's all in my hands mommy!!" oh brotherly love, there's nothing like it.

Speaking of that, Nicolas has been super sweet to his little sister, he loves to do goofy things in front of her because she looks at him and smiles so big, I love to see them "playing" sweetly together because I know this won't last and before I know it they will be big and probably not so nice to one another.

I love how he has his arm around her on this picture because I didn't suggested it, he just did it!! :)

Emilia is growing extremely fast these days, she has started to eat her cereal, she's now enjoying food, her first food was Butternut Squash and she loved it, she also has enjoyed sweet potato and let's just say green beans is not in her favorite list so far, my mom mixed it with carrots today and she enjoyed it much better.

I got the feeling she'll be a better eater than brother (I can only pray so)

Nicolas used to eat great, any fruit of vegetable you put in front of him he would devour

but as he got older he's SOOO PICKY now :(

Emilia is finally enjoying belly time (this brings so many memories from when Nicolas was this age, I have an all-time-favorite picture of him from this stage), she loves to look around and discover the world around her, when I put her on the floor she manages to turn around and look at the TV when brother is watching, I believe this will be a battle I'll have with my children all my life, they don't need to know I used to be glued to the TV too when I was a child!! Does this mean I don't need to be worried because I turned out ok? naaaa I still want to be a "KILL YOUR TV MOM" :)

She also enjoys looking at books, which is what I'm pulling for Books Books and more Books!! We'll see how successful I am this second time, Nicolas does love story time at night but I just wish he didn't like TV so much! It's been an answer to prayer that our DVD player in the car only works a few times so all of the sudden we have to do without and to be honest, unless we have to make a long way trip I don't want to replace it because is so much nicer to be able to talk to Nicolas and enjoy our time together in the car than to try to talk to him when he's not listening!

There's so much in my mind that I wish I could spend a whole day just typing up my thoughts but I'll have time for that one day when my children are grown and they don't want to be with me all the time, I know one day I'm going to miss that little voice calling me "moooommy". My mom says we should count how many times a day Nicolas calls me, I'm really tempted to do it :)

Well believe it or not it has taken me DAYS to put this post together so if something doesn't make sense I'm sorry, this is the best I can do with life right now.

To close this post filled with info from here and there, what's better than one of my favorite pictures with my baby girl.

See ya next time!

Mommy & Son Date

2010-05-07T11:03:00.000-07:00

Since Nicolas had been so defiant lately I've been reading and talking to good friends - I'm blessed to have a close friend in Chile who is a Children Psychologist - everyone and everything pointed that Nicolas behavior is normal and he just wants his mommy for himself as he was so used to have me just for him for the first 3 and a half years of his life. So I planned for us to have a "Mommy & Son Date" which took place yesterday afternoon. We talked about this earlier in the week and I told him we could go anywhere he wanted to, he chose the Kids Museum down town so I left Emilia with her Nana and Poppie and got my boy, who was beyond excited to see me because he knew what was coming. Just me and him again!

We had a wonderful time at the museum, there was nobody there, the place was for us and another little girl that was there with her daddy. We played and played and played. They have added a new baby section at the museum so we went and he was loving the babies, he took one out and asked me to get one and we put our babies in their strollers and we took them around the museum with us, everywhere we went they were with us (writing this makes me understand why my back was killing me last night, bending over go push that tiny stroller is what did it). We took them to the dentist, we bake them apple pies, we showed him the post office and the waterfall :) It was so much fun to be alone with him, not having to worry when sister is going to wake up to eat, how much longer we have before our moment is interrupted and all that, this was just a relaxing afternoon for both of us! No worries, just playtime!!

No outing to Main St. is complete unless you go to our favorite bakery to get a cookie, which is more Icing than cookie, so there we went when we were done, he had a penguin (yes black icing - not so cute - ) and I had a cookie monster ha ha ha (total pig). After that he asked me if we could pleeeeeeeaseeeeee go to the toy store, so of course we did, I told him we were not going there to buy anything but just to look around and play with toys. He did see some rubber toys and we bought two lizards, at .50 each I thought Why Not!

Our outing ended with a sweet visit to Nicolas' favorite teacher so far, he adores her. She just had a baby girl so we stopped by her house and met the cute little one, Nicolas had a chance to snuggle and get loving from this sweet woman who loves him so much!! She even let him draw a picture on this precious guest book she had for people to sign, he got a whole page for himself, can you see how much she loves him!

She said "Yes!! a picture of me and my babies"

What can I say, this was a very special day for Nicolas and I. I'd love to do this more often and can't wait until I have this 'dates' with my Emilia. So much fun!!

I LOVE YOU SON!!!

What a poopy day

2010-05-03T08:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was just a bad day - from beginning to end - If you go to church on Sundays and you have little ones at home you know is a stressful day. So far we've been managing pretty good but yesterday we started to run behind since it was Breakfast at church, that means activities start earlier than usual but our day started at the same time. I didn't think we were going to make it and I didn't get anything to eat, this I realized on the way to church so that made me upset (shocker!), I was hungry, tired which reflects on total moodiness. God called me woman of little faith as we walk in and there's plenty of food and room to sit, we made it on time! :)

Our Sunday School lesson was on marriage and how we go on seasons of good times and bad times, well when you have a little baby and a defiant preschooler, a mom who's staying at home and a dad who's handling new stressful stuff at work, let's just say our season is not very bubbly nor exciting right now. When you openly talk about it is hard ...

We got home and I had a meltdown - yes just like my son does - only that this came from an adult woman UGH! what about it, ha! Needless to say an argument came along too, I'm telling you it was a bad day!
We did managed to take naps, all four of us, which was so good and thanks to my husband I was able to sleep longer. (the men of the house went down just in time for the young girl of the house decided it was time to eat, so us girls didn't go down 'til later).

Our son has been in a hyper mood lately which quickly transform into a major meltdown for which I have zero tolerance (I need to work on this really hard!) and so the snow ball begins to grow and things get pretty bad! Matt took him outside and then they walk to Nana and Poppies' house which gave Emilia and I some alone time, which was nice. Thanks again honey!

Every time I walked into Nicolas' room I kept smelling something bad, I knew it couldn't be poop, he is potty train, couldn't find the source, went back again ... look around (should have looked harder) and found a dirty underwear in his hamper so I thought I had found it (lately he's been wanting to do everything by himself, including wiping himself after using the toilet) and didn't think twice about it anymore! Night time came, I gave him a shower (he's a shower lover now) and was very excited - too excited - that he felt and hit his arm, major melt down again, I didn't loose it this time for I knew it was an accident and he was hurting (I'm not that horrible), we started over, normal shower, little girl wanted to eat so dad took over and got him ready. It was time to drink milk and read a story so I went and straighten up his bed - like I do every night, I should do it in the morning but I don't - and to my surprise ...
...
...
I found a little "gift" on the bed

You guessed it ...

it was poop!

I'm telling you it was a bad day from beginning to end, I was glad when both kids were asleep and I folded clothes while laughing at Family Guy (yes it's a bad show but I laugh so hard when I get to watch it and boy I needed a good laugh last night)

Thank God not every day is like this. Of course you know what I pray about yesterday "Lord I want your JOY to be enough for me" ... I have a LOOONG way to go my friends!

Gotta try again today!

Life with two

2010-04-29T06:43:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was expecting Emilia how worried I was about Nicolas, how his life was going to change, how was I going to be able to share my time and love to my two kids (I still feel kinda old when I say "the kids" I don't know why but I do), little I knew that shouldn't been my worry. Noooo ... my worry should have been how are you going to have a mind to remember everything you need to do and take with you anytime you go somewhere with your two kids!! Phew ...

Let's rewind a little, Nicolas is 3 1/2 so he's old enough that if he wants to take a toy or anything he just goes and grabs it, I can tell him "get your jacket son" and he goes and does it (when he's willing to do so) but with a baby, I remember the first day we went out (Her 1st Doctor's appointment) I was getting out the door without a diaper bag, I totally forgot I needed one of those again :). Don't worry I've come a long way since that 1st day, I do keep a diaper bag (actually is just a big purse now, I don't use a diaper bag anymore) in the car (I won't tell you that sometimes I forget to "reload" the diapers or wipes) in the car at all times, I have another one to take to my mother-in-law when she keeps Emilia every once in a while if I have an appointment or anything like that.

Now going out to the grocery store - all FOUR of us - is a different story. We've only done it once and I don't see it happening any time soon, I really like to do things my way and in my time (you know you are the same way). That time we had to take two buggies because E's car seat was so big at the time - we had switched to Nicolas' old car seat now - that I couldn't put her on the front of the buggy but inside of it so there was no room for many groceries, Matt took Nicolas in his buggy I had Emilia on mine, we had to divide the list - which to me was such a task - I do my list in the order of the aisles, I know I have a little "MONK" in me sometimes (I should have it for the cleaning part of my life but unfortunately I don't) and then you have to time it right with her feedings, you know if Nicolas is hungry is actually better, we get some pop corn chicken and juice and that keeps him occupied, if Emilia gets hungry Weeeell shopping experience is a disaster or it needs to an "aborted mission" all together, I do go everywhere with my "UdderCover" but there is just something about Wal-Mart that prevents me from feeding my daughter there :)

So far going to church has been easy, as long as I get up early enough to get everyone ready and going out to eat works great as long as we - again - time it right!

I guess after all is not really that bad, it just takes getting use to doing the baby thing again when you were so used to having a child old enough that he can do so much for himself, sometimes too much. He wants to do everything by himself and there are things that I'm not ready to do unsupervised, anything that has to do with cleaning (teeth, hair, bathing, wiping) I do let him do it but I go right behind him to check or have my turn to do it too.

In other news
- Nicolas has been moved up to a class for "big kids", he now has circle time and show-n-tell which he's so excited about. We went to get his hair cut the other day and he was telling the girls at the salon all about his circle time of that day. This morning before he left for pre-school he asked "Mommy! is today the day for show-n-tell??" :) We were talking about that yesterday, I was explaining to him what that was and what was expected from him, we'll see how it works, oh how I wish I could hide in his room and hear him talk during his daily activities. He's such a talker, sometimes I have to remind him that he needs to give a turn for everyone to talk because if it was up to him we could just hear him talk 24/7, specially when he's excited!
He has been showing signs of defiance, if I tell him to not do something he looks at me - like I'm not really there - and does it and then when we are trying to correct him he gets this green on his face which drives me nuts SO I big warning was given to him the other night by his Daddy and I guess it worked because we didn't see any of it yesterday, now I know it'll happen again and I'll have to remind Daddy of the punishment offered at the time so we can keep our word.

-Emilia is cooing and smiling all the time and we LOVE it, she has discovered her hands, which she loves to hold right into her mouth, she drools a lot which reminded me that Nicolas got his 1st tooth at 4 months so may be she'll do the same? who knows ... since I'm breastfeeding her I think I'll be fine if she doesn't have any teeth until later on but again is not on my timing so whatever it is, it is! She's been sleeping good for a baby her age, she's a little clock depending on what time she goes down. If she goes down around 9:30 -10:00 I know for a fact she'll wake up at 2:30 and then at 5:30 if she goes down at 11:00 she'll wake up at 4:30 and then around 7 so it works pretty good that I know how many hours of sleep I'll get each night, so far so good! I know that this great pattern changes whenever the teething time comes but I don't want to think about that for now. She had her 2 months check up and is doing great, she is now 12 Lbs 8 Oz and 23 1/2 inches long so she's on the 75% - 90% which has never meant much for me because that's just comparing her with all the rest of the children and she's her own individual. I can tell she's normally growing so whatever percentile she's in it's fine with me! She got her shots and had a lot of fever but even with that she slept well.

Ok this is all for now ... longer post than I expected but since I haven't been in my blog in weeks ... here was your update! :)

My son reminding me of me

2010-04-12T06:33:00.000-07:00

Ever since Emilia has been born I look at Nicolas and I can not believe how big he is, he had reminded me of me so much this past week, it's amazing.

The other day him and his dad went to "Nana's House" (probably just to give me a break) and when they got back he brought me two flowers - one of those was the yellow ones that Dogs normally pee on - that's what my mom used to call them and that brought back immediate memories. It took me back to my front yard, a sunny day, playing outside and cutting those yellow flowers for my mom, how she made me feel so special by putting them on water like they were the prettiest she had ever seen. I could see that window on the kitchen with a little cup where that special flower found its last days :) but in my child mind it was just a very special place for it to be so my mom could see it when she did her work. So as my boy gave me this precious flower I made a big deal and put it on a little cup with water on my kitchen window. The other flower was smaller and that one was for his sister.

Last Thursday he went to the movies for the first time ever. "How To Train Your Dragon" was the chosen movie that him, his dad and cousin went to see. At first Nicolas didn't want to go, his first reaction to anything new is NO but it didn't take much convincing after I told him they have big bags of popcorn at the movies, so his speech of "Nooo I don't like going to the movies" changed into "Daddy, when we go to the movies tomorrow we have to get our big bag of popcorn". I was a little nervous because I know my boy gets easily scared - or he likes to pretend that he is - so I packed his bag pack with some juice box and his blankie but of course my husband didn't use it, he said he had to "man up" :) I'd totally taken the bag with me into the movies and gotten it out at the first sign of fear, guess is a good thing he went with his daddy and not me :) When they got there the first thing he thing he told Matt was "Daddy! I don't want to
share my popcorn" so Matt got an empty cup and pour some of the popcorn into his own cup so he was happy then, when his cup was empty he got up and went to refill it from his cousin's bag without even asking, you know when you are 3 and you feel everything should be yours without even asking. Colby - our nephew - didn't say a word but kept looking at Matt with a "help me" look. Matt also said Nicolas asked him when was this movie going to be over, half way through the movie, that's when he got up and sat on his lap. Over all a good experience and I'm so excited because this summer all three of us we are going to watch Toy Store 3. Can not wait!!

This reminded me of my first time to the movies, I was older than Nicolas, I was probably 7 or 8. I went to watch "My friend Max", my cousin went with me and it was fun, we walked to the theater together, it was like a big girl event. I even remember what I was wearing, you know like we girls do.

Nicolas is so sensitive, while he was watching Toy Story 2 the other day - one of the many times he had watched it - he was getting very sad (you know when Jessie remembers how her life used to be when Emily was her owner), so sad to the point of tears. I sat with him and told him it was only a movie and there was no reason to be sad, he said "but Mommy Jessie is sad and that makes me sad" ... this reminded me of when I was little I used to watch this cartoon called "Heidi" which was nothing but a soap for kids, her life was so sad and I remember watching the TV and crying because Heidi's life was just so sad.

Heidi and her dog niebla

Oh my boy ... you have a lot of your mother in you!!

I LOVE YOU!!!!

7 years!!

2010-04-09T05:03:00.000-07:00

Seven years ago I took the biggest step of my life, I left everything and everyone for the man that I loved and still love and will forever love!

Matt and I got married 3 times - yes 3 times - twice in Chile and once here seven years ago! We had a civil ceremony on April 3th, we had our church wedding and reception on April 5th (this is the one we use as our official anniversary) and we also got married here in early May (can you tell by then I wasn't keeping track of the date?).

I remember the certainty I felt when I marry this man, how sure I was (and I am still today) that we were meant to be together and I always tell Matt, if I had not come as an exchange student or if he had gone to college or if anything would had been different we would still be together somehow because God made us both for one another!

Matt was the 3rd child, the unplanned one so was I, I wasn't the 3rd, I'm the only child of a single mom so of course I wasn't planned either but God knew :D

Seven years ...

I still can't believe it's been that long ... that fast ... how in seven years we went from a couple to a family of four.

I thought I should post those special memories I have from this seven years, before I have Alzheimer and forget it all (Matt always says when I'm an old woman I may even forget how to speak English hahahahaha) so here we go:

Our Wedding Day! ~ It was a warm sunny day, early Fall in Chile. Sky totally blue, not one cloud just the ones I was walking on :) cheesy I know but that's how I felt :)

The first day at our house ~ we flew up here a few days after our wedding, our house looked so cute, nice, new, I couldn't believe I was married and we had a house. Our walls have never been painted (except our kids' rooms) so they still look the same they did when I first walked into this house, ok well ... they have some marks now ... I KNOW we need to paint them, one day we will :)

I'll never forget it snowed in April that year, probably by the 2nd or 3rd day I've been here we got a considerable amount of snow, I felt totally betrayed as my husband promised me I was going to be in gorgeous spring weather ha ha ha

Our many trips ~ We went to the beach, San Francisco, Playa del Carmen, Chile. It was so nice to travel by ourselves, hopefully we'll do it again in a few years when our kids are old enough that we can comfortably leave them with someone else (Ok may be not comfortably because I'm that kind of mom but you know what I mean).

The adjustments of those first years ~ I remember trying to figured out how to do this together, Matt and I didn't date for a long time before we got married, we knew we love each other and that was all we needed to take this step but your everyday stuff, daily routines and habits, that was hard!! I remember asking Matt to put together a desk we got as a present, I must of asked him a couple of times in the same week and he came home one day so mad and said "Don't ever asked me twice to do something" so I didn't :) Proof of that is a picture we got as a wedding gift that sat on the floor by the wall for months before it got hang, he thought I didn't like it that's why he never hang it he said :). I remember cleaning on Saturdays until one beautiful sunny day I said "I'm done wasting my Sat. on cleaning, let's go somewhere, let's do something" ha ha ha.
I remember having breakfast together in the mornings when neither one of us really talked, we just sat at the table and ate our breakfast in silence, needless to say we are not morning people.
Looking back I have so many memories like this, figuring out how we wanted to live our lives as a couple. Thank goodness those years have passed because they were not easy but they were necessary I know that.

Our Dates ~ We used to go to the movies every weekend that first year we were married, it was our dating time since we didn't date much before. It was so much fun, going out to eat and to the movies (boy we must have spend a lot of money doing that but I'm glad we did because now with two kids budget has changed he he he).

I also remember the day Matt came home and said "I think it's time for us to have children". 4 months later we were expecting :) Of course I remember the day we had Nicolas and even tho it turned out to be one of those scary stories you don't want to share with first time moms all I can taste now is the sweetness of that day, holding him for the first time, feeling the warmth of his little body, hearing his first cry. Now with our second one I had to do some convincing but it did happened too and here we are.

Our last picture before we had Nicolas and all 3 of us on our 1st family vacation

Our last picture before we had Emilia

Emilia and her daddy

What I love the most about Matt is his sense of humor, how we can laugh with our irony. I love how he puts up with my emotional drama - which has been VERY present lately for the obvious reasons - how he understands me and brings me back to my center.

Thank you honey!!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!

This year we both forgot it was our anniversary, days with a little baby run all together and you don't keep up with the date so as soon as I heard this woman on the news "Good Morning, on this April 5th ..." about fell off the bed and quickly called Matt to ask him what date was today and then he remembered too ... we both laughed!

These two pictures are from my top favorite ones of the men that I Adore!!

Big Deal

2010-04-01T05:19:00.000-07:00

I don't mean it ironically but completely honest and excited, yes it is a Big Deal!! I come from a society where breastfeeding isn't optional, no one ask you "so are you going to try to breastfeed?", in my country of origin there is just no way around it, unless your baby has a problem with your milk or you are one of the very few who doesn't have enough supply then you put them on formula, so the fact that this time around I have good milk to feed my princess it's a BIG DEAL!!!

The fact that I was able to freeze my first little bag of milk yesterday was a BIG DEAL for me, even if it's only 6 oz and it took me like 3 days worth of pumping - I only do it once a day, in the mornings while she takes her first (sometimes only) morning nap.

With my firstborn I wasn't this lucky, patient, relaxed ... so many factors involved ... so after 5 weeks of doing it and my boy being so hungry that I had to supplement with formula since we left the hospital (the boy was an oz from 9 lbs) I was done. He was hungry all the time, I was drained and the bottle seemed like such an easy way out I gave in and we were happily ever after :) Well ...not really, he had to go to daycare at 2 months old and he got RSV, Croup, Bronchialitis - I'm not even sure how to spell that last one, I've never heard of it until he had it - but it was my first time and that saying that your first child is like the first pancake you make, it's true, isn't it? You learn so much and now that I'm doing this all over again sometimes I wish I could go back and do it all over again with him BUT I know that's just a dumb way of thinking since that's impossible and all I have is my experience and a future ahead to make things better, right?

I remember how everyone from Chile would ask me how my breastfeeding was going and I'd say "Well I'm not doing it anymore" and you could tell they were surprised, no one ever said it but I knew they were thinking it, after all in that society that is what's expected from you as a mother (pretty much in all South America I'd adventure to say) and here wasn't a big deal. Isn't funny how we - as a society - get used to certain things and after a while things that on the other side of the world are very important and unbreakable, where we live are just not a big deal?? and vice versa too. Don't take me wrong here, this is not a judgmental thing at all, this is just a fact that each society has its own costumes and believes, when you come from a different one than the one where you are raising a family sometimes those two oppose and what do you do then?, which one do you take? truth be told, that would depend on which one is more convenient at the time, because we are creatures of habits and people who likes what's convenient for us, during my first time as a Mom I really felt I couldn't do this anymore. I remember I pumped one time when it was feeding time and all I got was may be an Oz from both sides combined so to me that was a pretty clear sign that I didn't have enough to keep my boy well fed and went to formula!!

This time I've enjoyed my time at home even tho I was scared thinking "I'M GONNA BE HOME FOR 4 1/2 MONTHS!! I'm not that type of woman, I'm gonna go insane" You see? I dreamed of being a business woman traveling the world, getting married and having kids WAS NOT a priority on my list! :) so staying at home with my baby - as crazy as it sounds - was a little scary to me. Weeeeeell, let's just say now I'm not looking forward to have to take her somewhere for someone else to take care of her, thankfully my mom is coming to our rescue in the middle of May and I'm praying she stays for longer than 3 months but if not 3 months would be fantastic too!!

Boy am I glad that I wear those undershirts because
I always forget to pull my shirt down after
I feed her as you can see on here ... hehehehehe

I love you my princess!!

Eating Crow

2010-03-23T04:52:00.000-07:00

You know when you make a statement about a certain situation that you really don't understand how so and so can do this and that because you know things could be done different???? hahahaha yes we have all done it, right?

This is the story of me - a mother of two - who used to think that you did not spoiled your baby by rocking it to sleep each night because you could control that, it was your job as a mother to just let them cry if it was needed so you didn't have to rock them. My mom used to tell me about my cousin who has a girl and how she had to rock her to sleep each night because otherwise my niece would not go to sleep. My experience with Nicolas was not like that at all, all I had to do was to put him down in his crib and he did go to sleep on his own, yes he cried sometimes just a little but nothing major and it always worked ... WELL let me tell you with my daughter things are TOTALLY different, she would not - I REPEAT would not - go to sleep unless we rock her, unless she has her paci in her mouth, unless all the stars are lined up in perfect balance and the world moves a certain way (by Golly that's what it seems like some nights) so now I'm eating crow. Doesn't taste really good but I'm getting used to its flavor :)

In the mid time I'm going to continue the rocking, the holding, the singing and the moving around with her in my arms because if that's what it takes well that's what needs to be done so there's not much option.

All I can say is that "each child is different" is an understatement, my kids are already total opposites (beside the fact that they are boy and girl). Nicolas never needed to be rocked to sleep, she does. He took nothing to go to sleep, she takes the world to go to sleep. He used to wake up very often at night, she can sleep up to 4 hours (when I'm lucky even 5) without interruptions. He hated the pacifier, she ADORES her paci. He hated his bath when he was a tiny baby, she could be in the middle of a crying fit but you put her in the bath and she is the calmest baby ever. Ok so now I'm gonna stop this because my mom used to compare me with my cousin (since I didn't have siblings) and I hated that so I gotta stop this and not make it a habit, at least not a public one :)

In other news .. we did make it to church for the first time, all four of us. Since Emilia was born, only the men of the house were attending church. It wasn't as hard as I thought since I got up early and got everyone ready to go. (how do you do it with 4 or 5 kids??? whew ... can't imagine), we even made it to Sunday school and lunch out and a baby shower ... I learned that day that a 5 week old baby does not need to be involved in so many activities in one day because she did not sleep all day, not at all ... she did for a few minutes and then she woke up. By the time Sunday was over, she was totally wore out, uncomfortable and so were we, that's why yesterday we slept literally all day and she still slept good at night.
Don't worry princess we'll take it easy next Sunday, I promise!

So that's life for us ... how's yours going?

Pictures!!!!!!

2010-03-09T06:12:00.000-08:00

I'm finally taking time to post some pictures on here. My house is a wreck, I should be cleaning or sleeping but instead I'm drooling over this pictures, much more fun than sleeping or cleaning, right?

Enjoy!

Holding on to Daddy minutes after being born.

First time Nicolas held his sister ... the first of bizillion times already.

Enjoying the arms of uncle David at the hospital on Day 2.

First outing, her trip to the doctor, Day 5

First smile on camera at day 6

In deep thought, day 9

After her first bath, day 12

Brotherly Love, Day 20

She's here and a horrible earthquake came too!

2010-03-03T13:38:00.000-08:00

Well our sweet Emilia is 2 weeks and 2 days today!! She's a doll, eats wonderfully, I have been blessed with more milk this second time around, she sleeps well for 3, 4 or sometimes more hours at a time --- as long as she is close to her daddy or me --- she loves her paci and have her face covered with a small blankie. Looking back I remember Nicolas hated the paci, never had to rock him (or I had forgotten already) ... I'm assuming we girls are "Needy" from the beginning ... hahaha or we can just say we require more attention from birth :)

The hardest thing so far has been to recognize my new boy, yes he's like a different person now, he's still sweet (too sweet with sister, to the point that kissing her every 5 minutes gets on mommy's nerves) but he has become this loud, run everywhere ... never calm anymore boy! The first days I cried a lot because I wanted my calm boy back, I told Matt "I want my boy back the way he used to be" and my wise husband told me "honey, we'll never be the way we used to be, our family has now changed and we are all adjusting" which is so true. (hormones I hate you ... leave me alone soon).

Monday through Friday are easy days for me since is just us girls at home, we get to sleep late, since we wake up at 5ish in the morning, we watch TV, we have our morning talks and enjoy ourselves by being close together!! The 'boys' leave us around 7:30 to go to school and work and they get back around 6, then the hard part of the day starts, Nicolas is all hyper when he gets home, specially if we have company, Emilia starts her fussy hour, we try to eat together, we managed to do that a few times last week as some wonderful friends and family brought us supper so we had some "normal" time sitting at the table, enjoying our evening ... many of those times Emilia was eating while I was eating too :) but you do what can to have your family all together!

Weekends?! crazy ... we have to find something for Nicolas to go and do because staying home all day is just not an option anymore, add the rough weather and is not easy but it'll get better as she grows older, weather gets better and we are all more used to our family of four dynamics!

And now ... what has been breaking my heart since Saturday morning ... the earthquake in Chile. I watched the Chilean channel for a while on Friday night, there's a big festival that goes on this time of year (summer time right now) and enjoyed singers and bands that I haven't seen in a while, it was fun, it was nostalgic, it made me feel I wish I was there. Little I knew what I was going to see on that same channel the next morning when my sweet Emilia woke me up just in time to see live news from there as only an hour has been since the big earthquake happened there, because of that I was able to call and get in touch with family right away. Because it was so early in the morning the lines were not collapse yet, a lot of people around the world probably didn't know yet of what just happened and oh my what just happened ... there are no words to describe!!!!!!!!!! Put aside the fact that my mom and family are there, the level of destruction, desperation, chaos, needs, a feeling of no hope at all ... I don't know what words to use, when you see a whole town washed out by the waves that came right after the earthquake (8.8 that lasted two and a half minutes at 3:30 am). Last night all the networks came together and they did a telethon, they double their goal as every person, company, industry, citizen (even those who had nothing gave something ... amazing!) gave money to start rebuilding emergency housing for so many who have no where to sleep, nothing to eat, nothing to wear but have each other and at this point and always that's all it counts.

There's one lady I heard on TV that said, as she was crying "We lost everything, everything ... but thank God we are alive and my hands are healthy and ready to keep working", the first time I heard that I cried because she reminded me of one of my aunts, that's the spirit that's in the people I come from, hard working, never bending, always ready to keep fighting no matter how tough the road gets, putting God first ... we keep going!

It took a few days to be able to get in touch with my mom, but we finally spoke and half of our conversation were just tears, tears of emotions kept covered so we wouldn't lose our minds while we had to wait to hear each others voice, tears of gratefulness for what God did as she protected her and ALL my family (I've talked to many who told me they couldn't make it out of their bed because everything was moving so much, mom got up and walked all the way to her back patio, to one corner and then to the next as she was holding on to a wall that later collapse, didn't get a scratch as she walked barefooted on a floor filled with pieces of glass and broken dishes, not one scratch ... ), tears of fighting the thoughts of what if "the worse" had happened, Mom told me she thought she was going to dye, along with everyone else I've talked to, she said she looked up on the sky and told God she was ready if He decided this was her time, she asked him for forgiveness for her sins and close her eyes as she prepared to what she thought was her death, can you imagine????? In my 33 years I've never experience anything like that, I have no words except gratefulness for her to be alive!!

Few Days Away

2010-02-09T09:16:00.001-08:00

So the time has come where I can count the days with a single digit until our girl gets here.

What have we been doing?

other than hating the bad weather but taking advantage of that down time as a family ... well, let's see:

1) We finally put the crib together - I laugh at this because we were looking at Nicolas' pictures from when he was a baby and my pregnancy with him and 2 months ahead of time or may be 1 1/2 months ahead we had his room TOTALLY READY. Yeap and we are a few days from bringing her home and there are still little details that are not ready yet, oh how we change from one child to the next. :)

2) We've been trying to spend a lot of time with Nicolas as his parents will no longer be only his starting next Monday. He knows the time is coming soon, he keeps saying he will be a Big Brother - although I know he doesn't fully understand what that means but he seems excited about the whole thing. The other night when we were putting the crib together he wanted to get out of his bath, wet and all, to come see it. I promise you these are his exact words "Mommy!! I bet it looks so beautiful!!"

3) I'm aching more and more by the end of the day, to the point that getting up from the bed requires my hubby to help me up :)

4) We have 3 birthday parties this week, don't worry we won't attend all of them. We'll try to do 2 out of the 3, I'll let you know how it goes. One is on Thursday evening which we are definitely going - unless the weather doesn't collaborate - and the other one is on Sat. afternoon, at an indoor pool place, yes I plan on be brave and get on a bathing suit 2 days before I have my daughter, just because I love water and if I did it with Nicolas in my belly - when I looked like a royal cow - surely I can do it this time when I think I look better, right?
If you know me and plan on being there you are welcome to look away if you feel the need, won't hurt my feelings at all, whatever rock your boat is fine with me. :)

5) Nicolas and I have had some pretty interesting conversations like this one, the other day as we were on our way home from preschool, he said:
- "Mommy? did you get bathtize?" I told him yes, he asked the same thing about his daddy, I said yes. I asked him if he had talked about bathtism at school, he said no. Then he got quite and later he said:
- "but I'm a big boy I don't need to get BATHtize". I said "well is actually the opposite, when you are a bigger boy you will feel it in your heart and you can decide when you are ready to be BATHtize", he said:
- "oh yeah yeah ... when I'm bigger I'll get BATHtize".

I'll never know where that came from but I do know his brain is thinking about deep stuff and I love it as he is still a silly funny little guy too!! He also told me last night "Mommy oh how do I love you" - needless to say I started crying, I'm glad the lights were off so he wouldn't see me but those sweet words just melt my heart and of course I'm pregnant and sensitive, although my husband can tell you - pregnant or not tears come down pretty easily for me - I keep telling him is good therapy! :)

6) Matt and I are hoping to go out to eat this weekend since after Monday it'll be harder to find someone to watch a baby and a 3+ year old boy. We will continue to make the effort because it is important to us but we are no day dreamers (although I do a lot of that myself) we know it gets harder as you have more than one child.

7) We had started the "fireproof your marriage bible study" and so far it has gone great, by that I don't mean we haven't argue or I haven't cried or anything like that, I mean we are doing it, we take the time to sit and read together and it had lead us to great discussions as a couple. The challenge will be when Emilia is here ... this is why we started, so we could "protect" our marriage for the tough times ahead. Let's be honest, when you have a newborn at home and you add the lack of sleep and all that involves taking care of a baby and your home and your older son and yourself ... well is just not a pretty picture. We've been through it once and it is hard. Hopefully this time we have more experience and we can handle things better, right? ... right? ... surely ... right??? :)

Only 3 more weeks

2010-01-26T06:26:00.000-08:00

I can not believe we are only THREE WEEKS away, it is crazy how fast time went, although some evenings it feels that time is going soooo slow ... hahahahaha.

I can finally say her closet is somewhat ready for her arrival, I still have a big container of clothes Nicolas has outgrown that needs to be moved into the basement, but her dresser is filled with her stuff and so are those little hangers.

I work myself to exhaustion getting this done because I couldn't take it for another day, Sunday was supposed to be the day when I was going to work on all this, my good friend Kristie was coming over and it was going to be a fun lunch with an afternoon filled of work BUT that didn't happened since my throat decided to hurt and so did my head. So much for plans, I stayed in bed all day, slept most of the day thanks to my husband, who also didn't feel good but he took care of our son for most of the day. I have to say I did enjoyed that lazy morning in bed, with my boys, we lay there with our eyes closed while Nicolas watched some cartoons, took turns going into the kitchen to get us some food. It was fun even though we didn't feel good.

My mother-in-law offered to come and help last night so we got things started and after she left I just couldn't stop, it was 11:30 by the time I was done but AMEN for that, it's done. I also washed the car seat covers, yes someone let us borrow one too so this time we won't have to be passing around the one car seat from my car to Matt's truck, this time we'll each have one, we've been beyond blessed with all the things we've gotten. I mean this closet is full and I even had to give some stuff away, most of this stuff are hand-me-downs that were in perfect shape. of course we've also received countless gift from showers that my friends have so sweetly put together for us.

Speaking of showers, we had another one this past Saturday, this one I knew about :0) what I didn't know was that the girls were going to make Scrapbook pages for Emilia's book. It was so much fun and my favorite type of Scrapbooking, you know the kind where you just put the picture on the page that has already been made for you! We had a really good time, yummy food, sweet gifts and great company.

What can I say, I have wonderful friends. God has put each one of them in my life for a reason, just like He is giving us this baby girl we can not wait to hold in our arms.

"Computer Pals"

2010-01-21T08:35:00.000-08:00

Dear lady from computer pals:
Stop trying to get my child into your program because he's only 3 and I don't want him to be hook into a computer when we still have 3 more years before he goes to kindergarten. He's smart and we are ok without it.

Yesterday when I picked up my boy from Daycare, he said "Mommy I'm on Computer Pals" and I said "no honey, you are not". He gave me a look and said "YES I AM. I went today and they gave me a sticker that has a computer, see?" As I grabbed the paperwork I see he was treated to a complementary session and of course the letter said how much they would love to have him on their program, how great he did ... bla bla bla. Well you are pushing it people, I understand you are trying to run a business, which I'm sure is suffering like all the other business these days, I see every time you leave me a letter your price has gone down, it used to be $25.00 now we are down to $9.00 but the point of it all is I do not want my child to be in this class at this young age. I feel there's no need for it and I don't feel like paying for an extra service like this when we do have a computer at home and really I don't want my child in front of another screen, you know? If this was "book pal, or music pal" I say SURE please let's develop that, but is just a computer game!!

Respect my decision as a parent and stop telling my child to tell me he needs to be on computer pals. How do I explain a 3 year old this was just a "complementary" session, well son you know what this lady is really trying to convince me to put you on her class so that's why she took you in for free but you are not part of this, sorry. Yeah right ... like he's going to understand all that.

This morning when we went to his cuby he saw the paper work again and remembered once again and I told him he was not on Computer Pals, you don't need to be on this class. I didn't know how else to phrase it. His teacher assure me that he doesn't talk about it any other time then when "the teacher" goes to get the kids (only 2) that go into the class.

So today I called the director of the preschool and voiced my concern about feeling pushed into doing something I had already said in several occasions I'm not interested. What makes me mad is that they are using the innocence of a 3 year old to get the parents to "give in" into something we choose not to do.

I know I'm pregnant and I'm sensitive ... sorry, things are the way they are. ha ha ha

" S U R P R I S E"

2010-01-20T05:51:00.000-08:00

No don't worry I haven't had the baby yet, but last night when I walked into the room where we meet once a week with our group to do bible study, lights were off and I open the door ... THERE WERE BALLOONS, YUMMY FOOD, FLOWERS, PRETTY DECORATIONS, GIFTS BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY DEAR FRIENDS who care enough for me to give me a surprise shower!!!

It was a sweet time - talk about sweet ... that's all I ate!! :0)

Emilia got tons of cute outfit, lots of wipes and diapers, bibs, socks, bottle brushes, pacifiers, did I say cute outfits already???? even my Nicolas got a gift too (thank you Amy and Wes!!)

It was so much fun, I got home pumped, ready to put things up but oh wait ... I barely have room to walk in her room because is full of boxes, remember? Yeah, well I did what I could, I hung some stuff, put away the baby bags, wrote some thank you notes and went to bed so excited it took me a while to go to sleep although I was wore out.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU ... Is all I can say.

Someone commented on my Facebook status last night since of course I had to post it there too, she said "two showers in one week (I'm having another one this Sat) you must be loved!!" INDEED I AM!!!! God has put wonderful friends in my life, once again ... Thank You!!

A blink of an eye

2010-01-18T12:23:00.000-08:00

In four more weeks - to this day - I'll be holding my baby girl. Unless HE decides something different for her

I have started to wash all the hand-me-downs we've been so blessed to have. Her room is just a big mess, box after box of clothes that are nicely washed now, empty walls, parts of a crib that hasn't been put together yet, some clothes of our son still left on the dresser and so on, you get the picture!

Of course with our first born things were done and in place by now :0) but like you hear over and over again, it is so different with the 2nd child (I'm sure even more with the 3rd and 4th ... I won't know about that b.c for now we are happy with 2).

I have felt so tired, so emotional, so uncomfortable, I'm glad we forget these things because what good would it do, I do remember one bad night when I was expecting Nicolas, when I could barely roll over in my own bed and I started crying because I couldn't take it much longer. I am sure there were plenty more moments like those in my first pregnancy. At that point I was just a few weeks from having him, I was much bigger with him than what I'm with her.

This time the struggles are different, this past Sat. I cried because I couldn't do what my son wanted me to do, he wanted to lay on top of me while we watch TV, which we've always done, well my belly is so big now that is humanly impossible for me to breath carrying both of my babes on top of me! So I was frustrated and I went to wake up my husband so he could go and play with our boy while I cried in bed. After a big cry I was better!

At the end of the day I'm cranky, inpatient, tired, achy, not a good combination. Some days are better than others, like the other day when I got to go home earlier and I was able to take an hour nap before my men came home. I was rested, happy, cooked supper, we ate together, it was a good night!! Those are the ones that I want to remember forever, the ones I want my son to remember forever, I know he won't have many memories of this age, at least that's what my friends tell me when they look back, they don't remember their lives before their brothers or sisters came along. Which is a good thing I guess, I didn't have sibling so I don't know how all this works, to be honest this scares me a little, I won't be able to put myself in my kids' place but that's a good thing, I know how it feels to be an only child - when you are a child is awesome!!!!! when you grow up ... not so much!!!

I'm excited about many things, of course our daughter coming, Nicolas becoming a big brother, us becoming a family of four! I know the years ahead won't be easy, we had just started to enjoy our full nights of sleep again (yes it took our son 3 years to sleep through the night), we are much nicer people when we sleep well, don't we? It was easy to leave him so we could go out on dates, spending time with other couples at night, enjoying a movie together, going out to eat, etc. Having our own time alone too, his night, her night ... and now it all starts back again, interrupted nights therefore cranky mornings, tight money, dealing with an emotional toddler and a newborn baby and the list goes on. The point is we made this choice, we knew what we were getting ourselves into, we've done it before, we survived and we made it and these three years with Nicolas had been a breeze, yes when you are in the middle of it you feel like this is never going to end but when you look back you wonder where has time gone. When did my baby boy became an independent emotional very verbal toddler??? In a blink of an eye --- this reminds me of something Matt told me 15 years ago in a video that my "host parents" brought me to Chile when they visited down there after living with them for a year. He said something along these lines "Hi Baby! by the time you see this Fred & Merle will be in Chile with you, I love you and I miss you very much. I know we need to be separated right now, I know you need to go to school (university) to us it may be a long time but to God is just a blink of an eye" I'll never forget those words, specially because a lot happened after that and yes we are together today, getting ready to have our second child together.

That's life, isn't it?

Precious Water

2010-01-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

We've all heard the cliche "you don't know how much you appreciate something until it's gone", right? Well what about when that something is a basic need like Water, something we take for granted, something we assume will be there at the opening of our faucet without any trouble, until temperatures get bellow freezing and you don't even think about leaving your faucet dripping all day long (I do have great reasons for that) and then you get home at night and SURPRISE the bath water you were getting ready for your son is not but an inch high.

This is the scenario my husband had to deal with on Tues night as I was at church having a marvelous time in Bible Study. We talked about the unimportance of our home here but the one that really matters is up there in Heaven. Not meaning like we should trash our stuff but not make it the focus of our life, you know? so with that fresh in my mind, when I walk in the door and I realized what's going on I begin to repeat myself "don't panic, it's OK".

This happened on Sunday morning too when we were getting ready to go to church, I did panic then, I wanted to be on time, we had breakfast Sunday and I know how much our son enjoys it and how much he was looking forward to it and let's just say washing yourself "part by part" like people used to do it years ago takes longer than just hopping in the shower and getting ready, needless to say my attitude was horrible (great way to get ready to teach Sunday school too, right?) so anyway, when all this happened again I knew my attitude needed to be a good one. My husband did the same thing he did Sunday Morning, when it took probably an hour or an hour and a half to get thawed. Let's just say this wasn't the case this time, an hour went by, two hours, all night and NOTHING!! He stayed home to see what we could do, the more I read on the internet trying to understand all this stuff the more it sounded like our pipes underground were frozen and everyone said "there's nothing you can do if that's the case, other than wait". My mother-in-law told me that this happened to them once when the kids were growing up and it took four weeks FOUR WEEKS!!!!!!!!! until it thawed, uhm excuse me I'm getting ready to have a baby in less than 6 weeks, that means if is the underground pipes we'll be lucky to have water when we get home with the baby ...

... ok do not panic, that's not going to help ...

... don't go there, God will take care of it all ...

so that's what I spend the night doing, every time I woke up to see if the water had come back and I didn't hear any water coming through DO NOT PANIC, GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF IT.

Morning came but not the water, I managed to get clean, get out of the house, take our son to his preschool and as soon as I had a free hand I text all my friends to pray for us and this situation. I brought my laundry to work - I do happen to be fortunate to work with family and their house is super close by so I did my laundry there during the day, every hour in the morning I went to switch loads (I only had two) - I knew at the end of the day I was going to buy paper products and plastic silverware and 20 gallons of water to have at home. I called my husband once and he said "still nothing" I kept praying and repeating myself it was all going to be Ok, we would get through it. I already had a plan in mind on how we were going to go take our showers at my in-laws who live next door, have our two gallons of water to flush our toilets once a day and just deal with it day by day.

As I left work I had my little moment of crying in the car, by myself, tears started falling and I told God "I promise I'm not complaining, I just need to have a minute and I'll be fine". As I was walking into the grocery store my phone rang and I realized I had a text too from home "We got water" I wanted to start crying all over again, I texted all my friends again and thank them for praying, "We Got Water Again"

When I got home, after my husband took his shower, I took mine a loooong one, one I thank God each minute I was feeling that warm water running over my shoulders and body. Oh the joy of something so simple, something we do everyday, something I take so much for granted.

This morning our son asked me:
"Mommy, what are you doing with that water??" as he looked at the sink and there's water running apparently for no purpose, I told him we needed to leave it running so our water wouldn't froze again, he got excited and said
"so I can have water for my bath and not be cold"

Thank you Lord for my water today and everyday.

Where Have I Been?

2010-01-04T08:14:00.001-08:00

Well we've had a few house projects going on in preparation of our little girl coming in 6 weeks, yes that's right ONLY 6 MORE WEEKS and Lord willing this cutie pie will be here with us.

Nicolas' old room will be her room, our guest bedroom is now Nicolas' room, my old dresser is now Nicolas' dresser and we had to buy a closet for my bedroom since all my clothes were in the guest bedroom closet and in my dresser ... did any of this make sense?? :0)

Now you understand where we've been, working on the house of course.

So here I present you "king Nicolas" new room, new bed,
new paint ... everything else was in his old room :0)

This baby is my new closet, Matt and I started working together on this process and thank goodness his brother came over to finish it, it was totally out of my league by the time they had to lift it up and move and redo and what not. This picture shows the unfinished product, now it has doors and a lot more clothes in it. Thank you honey, what an awesome birthday present!!

I've also been visiting with friends, this past weekend had the awesome chance to see a wonderful group of friends whom I used to see every week for a long time, we used to do bible study together. Lot has happened since then, there are 8 of us pregnant (yeah you know what we've been doing he he he he), some had moved to other states and life goes on but this past Sat. we had a wonderful time together, celebrating one of this girls and the coming of her new baby boy. It was fun, delicious food, lots of talking and laughter and those 2 1/2 hours went by in the blink of an eye, each time we get together (which is not nearly as often as we would like) I realized how much I miss them, how happy I feel when I'm around them and what a blessing is to still have them in my life even though we don't see each other once a week.

Another wonderful friend of mine gave me a couple of tickets to a historical house, very famous, in our area so yesterday my mother-in-law and I skip church (way to start the new year, right?) and went to see it before they took all the Christmas decorations down, these tickets were intended for Matt and I to use but let's be honest, what man wants to go tour a house that is over 100 years old and has vintage decor and details that only a woman can appreciate so I did us all a favor and invited my mother-in-law and we had a wonderful time. Adult time, girl time, fun time, heart to heart time ... it was great.

Where are we going to be from now on? Our next project is Emilia's room, no painting involved since I use a very plain color thinking about this when preparing that room for Nicolas. We do not like to paint so I wanted something that could work both ways - boy or girl - and I'm glad I did because the new bedding stuff we have for her (thanks to a dear friend as well) matches perfectly with the wall color.
If you are wondering if her room is going to be ALL PINK I can assure you to forget that because like I've said here in plenty of occasions I DO NOT LIKE PINK :0) Don't worry I will post pictures when is all done and yes I can take a little pink

No resolutions for 2010 here, just to enjoy every day and do our best like we always attempt to, we may fall many times but we get up and keep going again, right?

May this year be a wonderful one to all of you. I know the famous TWENTYTEN will be a year that will always stuck in our minds, just like 2003 the year we got married and 2006 the year we became parents.

2010 here we come, we are ready for you or so we like to think, at least we have the good disposition, right?

All I want for Christmas ...

2009-12-28T12:33:00.000-08:00

All he wanted for Christmas was

a "yellow" puppy with blue spots ...

All I wanted for Christmas was

to make his wish come true

so I did

How was your Christmas?

(we do have a video of Christmas morning but I haven't taken the time yet to put it on the computer, you understand ... been too busy ~~cleaning~~ eating, playing and sleeping)

My Favorite Things About Christmas

2009-12-22T11:58:00.000-08:00

Beside the fact that midway through the Advent Calendar is my birthday? ... well there's plenty more things that I love about Christmas.

I do enjoy giving gifts, wrapping them, watching people's faces as they open it (when I'm allowed to do so because if my son is opening presents in the same room than you I can assure you my eyes will be fixated on him, his expression, his words etc).

I enjoy decorating the tree and putting a few other decorations around the house, I'm not huge on decorating every single room or changing my whole kitchen or my whole house theme (what did I just said? theme? my house doesn't even have one during regular seasons of the year ... ha ha ha ha).

This year has been an incredible one with our son, because of his age he can understand a little more, we've had interesting talks about "Happy Holidays" vs "Merry Christmas" (of course we go with the 2nd one, THE TRUE one!), we've wondered when Santa is coming. When we woke up to snow flurries coming down last Friday he was so excited and quickly asked if Santa was coming that day, some days he's afraid of Santa, some days he can't wait 'til Santa comes, who knows what he'll come up with next.

He does love Christmas, through out the whole year we read Christmas books, we wait for Christmas lights to be up (not in our own house but on others who so carefully work on their yards to make them look perfect so people like us can drive by and enjoy them so much =) Thank you so much).

There's no doubt my favorite thing so far this year has been my sweet boy singing on his Christmas program at school, it melted my heart.

Oh my boy, how you melt my heart with your sweetness!!!!!

Santa and Mrs. Claus visited his school this week, his first reaction was to cry but quickly his sweet teacher got him better and he got to seat on his lap and told him all he wanted for Christmas was a yellow puppy with blue dots ... so you know what I'll be doing this evening, gluing blue dots on the yellow puppy I found at the store last night ... he he he.

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!

Fun Times

2009-12-17T08:52:00.000-08:00

This Sunday when I go to church I will carry a sign that says:

"yes I know my belly is big,

I'm 31 weeks,

my due date is Feb. 15th,

yes we know it's a girl,

yes we have a name, it's Emilia"

while the other person says "Amelia, what a pretty name"

so I have to clarify is Emilia with an E like Emily but in Spanish ...

I think I've had this talk with older ladies every Sunday for the past two months ... and I know I will have it again for the next 8 weeks.

Fun times! :0)

Full Flesh Three Year Old

2009-12-01T10:48:00.000-08:00

In Chile everyone talks about the "terrible 3s". Here everyone talks about "terrible 2s" and what happens is your child hits that age and you are braving yourself for what's coming when you realized is not so bad at all. Little you know that the age you should be braving yourself for is 3!!!

So 2s go by, you think you've got it made and then your full flesh 3 year old comes alive and you see them braking from their shell. Showing off them selves in public, unwilling to listen, always going opposite to what you suggest and the list can go on and on. One second they are adorable, the next you are ready to send them jump off the bank from the back of your house ... he he he he he do not take me literal, please!!

Is not always this bad, trust me, the boy is sweet. Just like on Thanksgiving day he asked his sister (in my belly) what was she thankful for (awwww ...) but he can also decide not to put his jacket on when I ask him to - as I'm getting ready to check out the only two things we had to get at Wal-Mart Sunday Night after church, I thought it would be a fun little trip, since we could both walk together in the store, no baggy, just us two and it went pretty well until the moment I told him, "please put your jacket on". That's all it took for him to start acting like he's convulsing and would not put his jacket on, I got on my knees and used my stern voice and that intense look, nope ... that didn't do it either, I told him he was going to get a spanking and he barely moved his arm to let me put his jacket, right after that was done he decided to walk away (thank God he didn't run) so I grabbed him quickly, sat him on the floor and at this point I am yelling "sit down and do not move", my face is red and I feel the whole store is looking at us (not many people was there, which I'm not sure if it was better or worse) and he starts crying like I had just stabbed him with the biggest sharpest knife there has ever been created. The cashier was a very nice woman, she looked at me and said "You are a good mom, he's just testing you and you are doing the right thing". I thank God on my way home for putting that woman in front of me, I needed that little reassurance.

My son has decided to wet the bed again at nap time during weekends only, he won't do it while he's in preschool, thank goodness, but he does it at home. We are transitioning to a big boy cup from the "oh so convenient" zippy cup to see if that way he would drink less fluids. Of course this just started a couple of weeks ago, before then sleeping without a pull-up at nap time was a mastered situation or so I thought. I was expecting this after Emilia was born, after we change him into his new room or after he moves up to his new class or something like a big change of that nature but not now ... not when the only thing changing is the size of my belly (and my level of energy) oh well, it is what it is and we'll have to make sure we find a solution for it. We pull out the calendar with stickers again to see if they would do the trick once again.

Thanksgiving day Nicolas was so excited to see all his cousins, sit with them on that side of the table, play with them and run around until he decided he has had enough festivities and he grabbed my hand and said "come on mommy, let's go lay down and watch tv" so being the obedient mother that I am (who was dying to lay down as well) there we went, left our guests watching football and socializing and lay down with my boy. We watched The Brady Bunch for the first time which he loved, we also watched "Full House". He is now obsessed with this show, we have watched the same episode everyday since last Thursday, he laughs at the little jokes and loves "little Michelle", isn't it too early for a little tv star crush?

He puts his tennis shoes by himself (when he wants to do it), he now knows how to put his jacket on (when he wants to do it), he knows that I can't leave him in the car by himself when we go somewhere because somebody may get him and if that happens we may "never ever" see each other again (do you terrified your children like this too?), he is growing so quickly and yet showing his full flesh three year old self quite regularly now.

Oh the times ahead, you know a newborn and a stubborn three year old, Lord give us the energy, the patience and the wisdom we will need on the few weeks ahead, yes only 12 more weeks!!!

Thankful

2009-11-25T06:21:00.000-08:00

I am so thankful of my friend who took this great picture, she's awesome, isn't she??

I am thankful of my babies, I am thankful to have a wonderful husband, I am thankful we keep each other on our toes and we don't put up with one another nitty gritty stuff, we are honest and yes we laugh a lot and of course we do have arguments, sometimes they are silly, sometimes they are serious but I'm thankful for each one of this moments we have together!!

I am thankful to be a part of a group that is learning to grow together as we do bible study, to share, to laugh, to think, to recognize our faults, to want to do better as we go in this journey each week and actually every day.

There are so many things I'm thankful for, it's hard to even begin to put them on a list. All I know is that I love Thanksgiving time, it makes me exercise in my mind all the things I so greatfully appreciate in my life!!

This year we are having lunch at our house, normally I do Christmas Eve but since I'll be bigger than the biggest Santa you ever saw I felt it would be better if I did my duty for this celebration and pass the torch to someone else for the next one. :)

I like cooking but I'm not confident enough to bake a turkey, so I told my mother-in-law if she would do the turkey I'd do everything else and put the house, she accepted my deal and everything is ready for our lunch tomorrow. I am excited, I like to have this get together because my goal is to make it as simple as possible so we can actually enjoy ourselves instead of just being stress out over the cooking, the decorating, the cleaning and all that. I know this time a year people pull their most fine china out of the cabinet and make everything look perfect, call me a redneck but I don't have china (I totally don't see the point to have it, may be when I'm older I'll change my mind), I buy pretty paper plates, who wants to do dishes on Thanksgiving, I just want to sit down and enjoy the time together, isn't that what all this is about??? May be is because my Mom - because of her job - had to work harder on every holiday, which put a chip in my brain to chose not to stress over the holidays, not to over work myself unless absolutely necessary (that day hasn't come yet) but to enjoy it. I want Nicolas and Emilia to grow up and have good memories of this times, I know so many people who don't even decorate their house because they have such a bad memories of the holidays, the stress and the work can make moms mean, it wasn't my case, my mom was always sweet although she worked herself way too much.

Can't wait to put up our Christmas Tree and the few little things that I put up this time of year. Believe it or not I kept my Nativity scene up all year, I strongly felt the need to do it as a reminder of how important that day is for us. Not sure any of my family members noticed but I did :) Well may be Nicolas enjoyed playing with the cow from the nativity and occasionally he got Mary out of her place to show me baby Jesus.

This is one of my favorite times of the year, it's been since I was a little girl. Growing up in South America, December marked the end of a school year, my birthday, my mom's birthday, Christmas and the beginning of summer, what else could a little girl like me wanted. All the things that were huge in life started in the same month. I guess in my subconscious mind I still have that joy and excitement.

During these celebrations I always think of those who have lost a family member (I know plenty of families who will be hurting because it will be their first Thanksgiving and Christmas without their dad, without their child, etc) how hard and painful is that, can you even begin to imagine ... I truly can't. I just know the only thing that can get them through is the love of our Father and the support of their loving ones here on earth. I think of my mom, who's only child decided to move to the other side of the world but I am happy to know we have tons of family who are making sure she's happy, filled with love and excited to spend another end of the year with them.

What do you think about during this time of year? Does it make you happy? Does it make you sad? Do you ever think about it?

Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving to all!!

How things change from one pregnancy to the next

2009-11-19T11:47:00.000-08:00

It's been so long since I've posted anything, I do have the perfect excuse though ... I'm pregnant, remember? :0) Seriously, being pregnant this second time has been so different, more exhausting, more challenging than the first time (this is when I think of families like my aunt's, who birth 5 kids!! Holy Cow!). On the other hand it has gone by so quickly, Matt and I have talked about this so many times, with Nicolas it felt like forever, like he was just not going to get here anytime soon, we dream about him constantly, who is he going to look like? how is his voice going to sound? what's smell would he have the first time we hold him? how warm would he be? and every single question that had ever existed, we thought, we dream. I did everything babycenter.com told me to do, well not everything but you know a lot more than what I've done this time around. I think at this point of my pregnancy Nicolas had heard Baby Mozart in my belly so many times I had lost count, ask me how many times has Emilia heard it? ... ONCE! Yes, just once, it was a Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago (may be longer than a few, who knows) and I was relaxed reading a book of my favorite Chilean writer and it hit me, I had never allowed her to listen to classical music so I went and got the CD player (Yes I do have an iPod but I haven't downloaded music for it in a while and it certainly has no baby music in it, that's mommy's toy.) Anyway, all this to say wow how things change from one child to the next, and she is not even born yet.

Please don't misunderstand me, I will love my baby girl as much as I love my baby boy (yeah yeah he's not a baby, I know but in my heart he will always be) but you know, you find yourself with 3 years of experience on being a mother and those things that where oh so important, are not so that important anymore. You know the little things that you used to loose sleep over just doesn't matter anymore and I love that freedom. I love the fact that even though I know each child is different and unique we know what we are getting ready to face, there is not a fear of the unknown, at least not for this first few months, I even know the day she will be born because it's going to be a schedule C-section. I love it!! I'm not one who enjoys "to-do lists", I feel trapped by them, I say this to let you know I am not a planner, I don't like when you have to make your yearly appointments for the Doctor a year in advanced and that sort of thing, but I do enjoy the fact that I know for sure what day she will be born (Unless God has other plans for us of course, He always has the last word).

A lot of people has asked me what does Nicolas say or if he's excited and I can honestly answer he is really excited, which tells me he has no clue how is life is getting ready to change ha ha ha. He kisses my belly (he has to pull my shirt up in order to do that, somehow the bare skin contact is a must have to love on his sister), he's been very excited about opening presents that some people has already given us (what a blessing!), his main concern is to make sure she is not going to sleep "on my bed mommy!", I've tried hard to explain to him that she will live with us forever (yeah right, only for 18 or 20 years ...), I have also told him that when she's born she will be tiny and not able to play with him, talk, eat regular food. We have three different books that explain the process that goes on when Mommy goes to the hospital and brings a baby home. We've looked at his baby pictures to show him he was tiny once, that he was in my belly too, that he did wear diapers and we had to feed him, that he had a first bath picture, etc. He has enjoyed seeing himself on the short videos we made of him when he was a baby. It's been a sweet process we've lived together.

The fact that this Christmas will be the last one he will have by himself with us it's a mixture of feelings to me, Matt keeps saying is not a bad thing and I know that too but being an only child myself ... I know how good it felt to be the only one! :0) My husband was the 3rd of three children so he knows what having sibling is like, thank goodness, because I have no clue! he he he. I'm glad at least one of us knows what we are doing here ... just kidding!

We are only 13 weeks away from her big arrival. Wow where has the time gone!

The Sweetness of My Boy!!

2009-10-15T07:55:00.001-07:00

Allow me a moment to brag on my sweet boy, oh I much I love him!

I love his heart, he has such a big heart!!

Last night Matt brought home a gift someone from work had given us for our baby, when Nico saw his daddy walked into the door with a present he said:
"Daddy you got a present??"

Matt responded yes and Nico wanted to know who was the owner of this gift, Matt told him it was for his sister Emilia. His sweet heart was so excited he yelled for me and said "Mommy, come see, we got a present for my sister!!"

So there I went, left my meat on the stove - about burn it of course - and I asked Nicolas if he could help us open the present since sister was in my belly, so I got down on my knees and he quickly pull my blouse and talked to my belly:
"Emilia look, you got a present today!!"

Matt and I just looked at each other feeling so blessed, what a sweet boy is he!!. I know the baby is not here yet and once she is at home everyday, all the time, his sweetness won't show as much (I'm not that blind ... ha ha ha) but right now I admire his giving heart and I pray it doesn't change as he grows older.

***************

I got my flu shot this week and I told him about it, since he got two shots in 5 days (one for his 3 year old check up and one for strep), I felt it was important to let him know everyone has to get shots every once in a while, when I picked him up from school the other day I told him. He looked at me and asked in a concern tone of voice:

"Mommy did the nurse come and give you a shot?"
Yes darling she did.

"Oh Mommy ... did it hurt???"
Well it did a little but not too bad.

"Mommy did you get a band aid??? Can I see it???
I'll show it to you when we get home.

That evening he spent time with his Nana and Poppie since I was going out to eat with friends and Dad was playing softball, so when I picked him up we talked about it again, this time he brought it up.

"Mommy, you got your shot today?"
Yes honey I did.

"Mommy, did it hurt??"
Well not so bad baby.

"Oh Mommy but it's OK, because shots are made to make you feel better!"

ahhhh ... so sweet!!!!!!!

***************

As I brag on his sweetness and I remember the news this morning, how a Mother who has a son burned by 5 other boys - not teens ... boys!! - I remember her words "We have to do something with our children, the violence that goes on among our kids, not only here but around the world" WOW I don't want to imagine what my sweet boy will be expose to as he grows older, I pray we as parents do everything in our power - given to us by God - to show him the right ways, to teach him right, to forgive him when he makes mistakes yet to be strong when it comes to consequences! Oh the road ahead.

For now I'll keep eating him up every time he overflows my heart with his sweetness, treasuring all these little moments we have together, praying that his sweet essence will always stay there.

The downfall of Fall

2009-10-09T05:56:00.000-07:00

Fall is my favorite time of the year, I love the colors, I love the clear sky, I love all the pumpkins and the food and everything else BUT there is one thing I do not appreciate about Fall, all the sickness that goes around.

The season has begun at our house, of course right after my mom left, Nico started to get sick, continuing with his tradition of getting sick after abuelita leaves. (Mom has been here three times, each time this had happened). Six days after she left I get a call from Nico's sweet teacher (we absolutely love her) and she says "I hate to call you to give you this news but he is sick".

Ok so here we go, I went and got him and he was laying on his little mat, so pitiful looking while his little friends are all excited about snack time and what not. Took him home, the child was HOT, since he just got the flu nasal spray vaccine I thought it could be a little reaction to that, since I always get a cold after I get the shot, so I treated the fever for a day or I thought I could treat it with regular over the counter medicine, let's just say that as soon as the medicine stop working my boy was flying up high in fever. No need to explain what a horrible evening we had that night, I don't remember the last time I saw him so sick. Thank God for a wonderful husband who got up with me and together we put cold washcloths on his forehead and took turns laying with him in the bed (a twin bed, yes my husband squeezes himself to fit on the twin bed, and so does this prego mom but that soon will come to an end when Nico moves into his new room and there he will have a queen bed, but that's a topic for another post).

After not sleeping well at all, I told him we were going to the Doctor. We were at the Doctor's office last Friday for his check up and let me just say it didn't go too well, it started great, he was happy, talkative, collaborative, until he moved to quickly when she was checking his ear and that hurt and from that point forwards it was a total disaster, having that experience fresh in our minds I knew he wasn't going to be thrilled about going. He quickly told me he didn't want to see Dr. G again, he wanted to see Dr. M (this last one has been the Doctor that has worked with all of his sickness, respiratory problems, etc), I knew we were going to see him, so I told him not to worry we were going to see Dr. M. - I love the fact that he knows his doctors by name :0) - although that play against me when Dr. G was walking by the hall when he was being check by the nurse and he gave her the dirty look and said "I'm not here to see you today, Dr. M is going to see me, not you!" GREAT, the honesty of children, I do love it though. Wish we could keep that instead of saying the politically correct stuff as we grow, people wouldn't have their feelings hurt so many times, if we were all used to saying the truth at all times, don't you think?

So of course he had STREP THROAT, the Dr. gave me the choice to do a shot or 10 days of antibiotics, being the mean mom that I am proud to be, I chose the shot!! I knew it was going to hurt him right then but I also knew it would help him quicker than dealing with oral antibiotic for 10 days. I asked the Dr. to send me a strong nurse, he knew well and sent me two of them and between the three of us the boy got his shot, I had never cried when my son got a shot, not even when he was a newborn but since I am a sensitive hormonal pregnant woman I did cry this time. I held him after it was all over and he looked so sad, I knew he was hurting, I knew I made that choice for him, I knew it was the right now but boy I hate to see him hurt like that, so yes I cried and as he was crying he looked at me and asked "Mommy are you sad??" I told him it was sad for me to seeing hurting but he didn't need to worry, it's ok to cry when we are sad. Quickly he told me "Mommy I'm sorry I made you sad". This is what kills me, the fact that he thinks is his fault, he has such a giving heart and he's always so concern about others, which worries me about his future, peer pressure and all that fun stuff ahead. Surely I can instruct myself on how to work on that before we get to that age, right? (advice wanted on this subject)

After a four hour nap the boy was back to his normal self, happy, energetic, playful, normal!!!!!! Thank God for my wonderful pediatrician!!!

It's been a couple of days since then and guess who's getting sick now ... of course ME and my Emilia inside of me, yeap we are getting something, my throat is raspy, I have a tiny cough and yes I feel it coming. Here we go with the wonderful cycle of Fall Sickness.

I don't want to put my nose at my Family Doctor's office, since it seems that every time I'm there I'm the only person under 70 years old in his waiting room, which scares me thinking about their sickness and what I could catch while waiting, considering my Doctor is not one that gives away medicine like candy, I have to literally convince him of how much I need the antibiotic for him to write the prescription, so for now I'm going with my over the counter stuff, prayers, warm water and salt gargles, tons of germ-x and faith ... cough cough

What a nice weekend!!!!!

2009-10-05T08:11:00.001-07:00

"Once upon a time ..." this is what you can hear at our house lately, specially this weekend, we've been enjoying making up stories, we all take turns (Matt, Nico and I), sometimes it's based on a true story and sometimes it's pure imagination.

Saturday morning we went out for breakfast, I truly believe this is our family's favorite meal, specially if we go to our favorite restaurant. While we waited for our food (we always get the same thing because we absolutely love it) we decided to pass time by sharing our stories. Nicolas felt in love with one that Matt told him the other day but he has adjusted some to his own little world and it's really funny.

The original story says
"Once upon a time there was a little boy name Matt who had a cat named Chloe, Chloe clime up on a tree and wouldn't come down, so the little boy went up the tree and save Chloe ... the end!"

Nico's version
"Once upon a time there was a boy named Matt, he had a cat name DOEY and the cat wouldn't come down, and then the monsters came (his voice gets loud at this point) and Doey was scare and then ... " the story goes on and on, including magicians, other creatures and who knows what else, eventually "Doey" gets rescued and the end comes, but his enthusiasm and different tones of voice is what I absolutely adore.
I love that he has a great imagination and that he likes to create stories, I'm sure I won't love it when he's making up stories about what happened in school or why his sister's face is cover in markers but we'll worry about that later in life. =)

Saturday was such a nice day, we spend it together from beginning to end. After breakfast we went to do a little shopping, I had the cart for myself while Nico and Matt went to look at toys, so it was relaxing and fun for all of us. We took a look at the Halloween aisle to try to figure out what our son wants to be this year, the final decision hasn't come yet, he seems to like "Thomas the train", then he said he wanted to be a "Zebra" but a good friend has a dinosaur costume I would really like to use so I don't have to buy anything :) (yes I'm cheapo like that). We'll see, while we were there Matt put on a very ugly mask to show Nicolas that people can wear mask and not be scary, we are trying to do this as he has developed this terrified fear over the cow at that chicken restaurant we all know and love! So Matt put it on, with a sweet voice talked to Nicolas and waved, Nicolas waved back and said "Ok Daddy, you can take it off now!" and then he proceed to ask for his daddy to wear another one. So we entertained ourselves for a little while. After that, we went to a Pet store to buy something for our dog and took time to look at the puppies, kitties and birds. The men of my house love cats, me? no thank you, if there was ever a toy size cat created, I could probably stand that one but that will be it. You know how they have those puddle-toy breed? I could use a tiny cat like that but not a big one, no thanks, not for my house! May be an outside cat???? ugh ... i don't even know.

After that I enjoyed a lovely nap, thanks to my sweet husband who took care of our son since he decided the tiny nap he took on the way home was good enough to help him rest and recharge his batteries. I'm afraid we are getting to a point where naps are starting to be shorter and eventually gone, I wish my child would take a nap 'til he's 10 ... hahahahahahahaha. They are my saving grace for my own nap, I'm not one of those moms who cleans or do things while the kids are asleep, nope I take my nap too, and those are pretty much sacred for me, oh my ... what a change that will be when we no longer have that time.

We finished up our day at a birthday party, a sweet boy turned 1 and this was a family fun afternoon, tons of young couples with their children got together to enjoy a gorgeous fall afternoon and evening, b'day boy's father did a marvelous job on the meet (it cooked for hours and hours), we moms enjoyed our talk together, guys play outside too, fun from beginning to end.

Mom has been gone for 4 days and yesterday Nicolas asked me "is Abuelita coming to our house today?" it was sad but yet fulfilling to know he misses her and that he has wonderful memories with her. We had another birthday party yesterday afternoon and on our way home he said "I want to go home and play with my Abuelita". I was ready to shed a tear but I didn't, took a deep breath and we called her, they talked, it was so sweet..

And this was our lovely weekend, one of those I hope to treasure in my mind for a very long time, if not I just need to read my blog and remember it again.

How nice it's been!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-26T11:42:00.000-07:00

The time has come and Mom will be returning back home soon. Although it makes me sad because she has spoiled me to the point that is ridiculous I know she'll be back soon, when our daughter (Yes!! it's a girl!!) is born in Feb., Lord willing sometime after that she will be back to spoil us all. I truly believe that even our dog "Buddy" will miss her.

Today has been a wonderful day, actually the last week has been great, we went together to the ultrasound, Matt and my Mom were hugging each other so sweetly when we found out it was a girl, they swore it was a girl (along with everyone else in the county :D and they were right!), if someone would of taken a look at them from the outside it would of seemed like the child was born already, their excitement was so so so sweet that I'm glad we experienced that together!

Friday night Mom and I attended the women conference at our church, we were blessed to have a translator so Mom could understand the main speaker, she was so funny and so truthful, great evening. Mom also attended my class and for that I felt so excited and proud to have her there with me.

Today it has been raining all day again, Matt found out at the last minute that he had to work today so our original plan of going out for breakfast as a family was shaky for a moment but instead we decided to go on, grabbed a biscuit for Nicolas at Chick-Fil-A (thank God the Cow wasn't there since my son can't stand it) and then we head to our favorite restaurant to enjoy a yummy breakfast together, Nicolas was on his best behavior and Mom and I were in cloud 9 enjoying some delicious coffee and goodies. Rain kept pouring and I decided to go check a bouncy place that we've heard a lot about but had never taken the time to visit, it was a hit, the best $5.00 spent in my life, Nico bounced over and over and over again, I was hoping for a great nap but actually he hasn't, instead he has been calmly watching TV and playing with his toys, so it's ok if there's no nap.

As soon as we got home Mom decided to make a home made soup, which we are getting ready to enjoy right this minute!!

This afternoon we are going shopping to buy some last minute stuff for her to take home.

I just wanted to share how nice it's been, how much we've enjoyed her company, her love, her attentions, her cooking, her loving, her sweet self being with us, unselfishly ready to share her talents and love with us. Mom if you only knew how much we are going to miss you!! WE LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN TRULY EXPRESS.

My baby boy is 3 W O W

2009-09-15T08:43:00.000-07:00

I know he's not a baby, far from it, but he is still my baby, although I'm carrying another one in the womb Nico is still my baby. :)

We celebrated his birthday at home this past Saturday, a simple party, filled with close friends, his teacher from his preschool came and that had him thrilled beyond explanation, he personally invited her one day (as he invited our whole town every time we saw someone we knew at the grocery store or at church or anywhere) and she sweetly came and made his day. Thank God for her being there because she was the only one to convince him to come to the table as all his friends were waiting to sing happy birthday, he kept his hands covering his ears since, according to him, "everyone is going to be too loud". I'm telling you what, this boy is going through some weird stages in life. He doesn't like anything loud unless is his own drums, fire trucks, guitar, police helmet (all of this are new toys) but if you are making a loud noise ... Oh My ... we can not take that!! :)

The kids play outside, got loaded up with sugar (cookies, cake, ice cream, M&Ms) we did have a few salty items (chips and cheetos) but everyone had a blast, he absolutely adore his birthday cake, he had to show everyone his cake, any time someone walked in the door, he wouldn't say hello or anything, his greeting was "come over here and see my cake, it's beautiful!!". I love to see my boy happy!!

I had to give my mom some not so great news after the party, I found out Friday but I didn't want to ruin the party for her, when I called to change her plane ticket to extend her visit for 3 more weeks, I found out that not only I needed to pay for the "penalty" but for the change in price which all together cost me as much as the original tickets, so of course I said "No, Thank You" when the lady asked me "Ma'am are you willing to pay that amount?" I'm totally ok with it, Mom is going to spend 2 months with us, she has spoiled us beyond comprehension and Lord willing she will be back after our baby is born to spoil us again, so I know this is God's way to say, you need to go back now, but I'm sad because I know she is, this was a change of plans and my sweet mother doesn't deal well with change, I truly believe as we get older we just don't deal well with that kind of stuff, so say a prayer for her to find comfort and reassurance that our God is doing this for a bigger reason, that she is needed down there more than up here with us.

Yesterday God gave me a perfect evening, I was achy all day but when we got home Nicolas was filled with happiness, he played outside, ran around following our dog, went around the house many times, then when he was ready, came back upstairs and watched some TV, then we all - by all I mean, my mom, my husband, Nico and I - colored together, had yummy supper together, sat down and talked, it was a perfect evening that we all needed after a crazy weekend. While we were coloring and talking, Matt told me something, which I commented with a "oh that makes me sad", quickly Nicolas looked at me and said "Mommy, you sad?" and before I could say a word he looked at his daddy and said "Daddy, don't tell mommy things that make her sad". He is so aware of my moods and how I feel, it's scary! So we explain to him that it's OK to feel sad, that sometimes we are going to feel that way and there's nothing wrong with that. Later on in the evening, all of the sudden, out of no where he got all teary eyed and said "Mommy I'm sad" I asked him why, he said "because my animals ... " (the phrase was never finished, he just happened to be looking at his animals when we were talking, so I guess that was the first thing that came to mind). I guess he was just applying what we had talked earlier in the day. =) Silly boy!

Vacation and parenthood ... sorry is long but please read bc I need your advise

2009-09-09T06:12:00.000-07:00

Another summer has come and gone and we were blessed to enjoy a week at the beach, last year was our first and we loved it, enjoyed time with friends and family, this year and since my Mom is here we just did it as a family, my men, my mom, my little belly and me (I love to say my little belly because when I was going through my first pregnancy I was already huge at this time).

We had sweet moments, fun moments, melt down moments (from my child and me - don't forget how hormones can affect too), good heart to heart talks with my mom (I needed those), there was only one thing missing and that was dinner alone with my hubby, hopefully we'll get to do that soon.

The day we arrived was gorgeous, Nicolas went straight to the pool, which was right outside the back door while mom and I unpacked and my mom had a germophobic moment and started cleaning, washing, swiping and disinfecting every little corner, I guess is a miracle of God we (Matt, Nico and I) have not gotten contagious with any deadly diseases since I truly am not nearly as thorough as my mother would like for me to be, don't take me wrong, I'm not a nasty person, I love to take my shower everyday, wash my hands after I use the bathroom or if I have been out, you know all the normal stuff people do but I don't walk around my house with the mop and clorox disinfecting stuff ... ha ha ha. I had forgotten my mom had this quality and that I certainly didn't get it. No wonder she cleans for a living and I sit on my desk behind a computer =)

We had a rainy day too but we decided to spend it in other activities, we visit the Aquarium, went to the zoo and the kids museum, I was running out of ideas and places and the days started getting better so we were able to enjoy the beach a couple of times more.

My favorite moments were:

* watching Spanglish with my mom!
* seeing Nicolas enjoy the waves as he pushed us away since he wanted to stand on his own and balance on his own, he did really good, he loves water just like his daddy and I.
* watching Nicolas and my mom play together, building sand castles.
* taking a walk with my mom at the beach while Matt and Nico played in the water.
* walking in the beach in the evening and getting our feet wet
* seeing my mom's face at the aquarium, she absolutely loved it!!
* getting caught by a wave under the water (I'm not afraid of water) it brought back so many childhood memories!!!! I'm glad I didn't hit the bottom of the ocean with my belly because then it wouldn't been fun but it was funny to think back and remember how I was trying to fix my bathing suit before the wave would let me go since I was pretty sure everything was out of place =)
* Nicolas and my mom sharing a room together.

I feel so blessed to have this opportunity to spend time with my family. What a gift, specially considering my mom lives so far away.

In other news with our family, at the end of this month we should find out what our 2nd baby is going to be. E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E is betting is going to be a girl, I still give this baby a chance that he could be a boy. Wouldn't it be fun if he is a boy and I'm THE ONLY ONE who thought of that chance!! he he he he.

Nicolas is being a normal 3 year old (his birthday is coming up this weekend). While we were on vacation any suggestion of what we could go or were going to do he did not like, his answer for them all was "nope, I don't wanna do that" or "but I don't want to" or "no thank you!" (at least he was polite, right?). Of course as he didn't want to go we still did what was planned and most of the time he had a great time. He's having a really hard time with people dressed in costumes, of course every where we went there was people like that, forget chick-fil-a if the cow is there, you would think he saw the devil himself, he starts shaking and his heart pounds so hard I can see it coming out of his chest ... is so sad and I have no idea where this fear comes from, people had told me this is normal but I don't like it at all, we've never talked about witches or anything scary and when he saw the clown at the kids' museum he said "that witch is going to get me" WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM???? I've been meaning to talk to his teacher about this but this past few days she hasn't been in the classroom so anyway ... anybody has any suggestion??? what to do?? how to handle this?? Oh yes and since I'm asking about suggestions I need more help. Here's an example of what the situation is:

The other day we went to my in-laws and my nephew was there outside without any shoes on, which we don't agree with, of course Nicolas wants to do that too because he sees his cousin doing it and I try to explain to him that it was important to put his shoes on so he wouldn't get bites or cuts or splinters or whatever and he said "but D. doesn't have his shoes on" I said but I am your mom not D's and if I asked you to do something is not to be mean, I just want to protect you" so he apparently understood because he put them on but then he went outside and was insisting that his cousin would go and put his shoes on, how do I explain to him that if his cousin is raised differently we don't need to interfere but just mind our own self, I don't wanna say that because it seems like I'm raising him to be selfish and that's not what I want for him either, I know he's only 3 but in his early mind there are things that are important for me as a Mom that he understand. Anyway my experience mothers that read me, tell me ... how do you do it? what do you say?

Thank you!

This is normal ... REALLY????

2009-08-24T11:52:00.000-07:00

This second pregnancy has been an achy one. Not sure what everyone else has experienced but if we had not decided already that two children would do for Matt and I, I would of been seriously wondering if I ever want to be pregnant again. REALLY!

My bones are achy (yes those down there, inside my thighs ...). When I'm at work and I have to get up I look like a human who had just learned how to walk again, stiff, funny, waddley and I'm only 14 weeks, I am wearing some maternity clothes but I still have some regular clothes that fits me so I know is not the weight or the pressure ... what is this I wonder????

The Doctor told me this was normal. "NORMAL"????? Really????? Let's just say this is a very painful normal, my gift from above - my mother - has been making sure my house is working like a clock, she worries I'm not happy, I guess I can't hide the pain very well, can't I?

But seriously when I'm not achy, I'm nauseous, I'm not either one of those I'm crampy and yes GRUMPY too ... my poor family ... see? this is another good reason 2 children are just enough :)

Any suggestion on how to make my body less achy???

Do you ever ... ?

2009-08-18T13:56:00.000-07:00

So do you ever argue about money??? yeah I didn't think so, we don't either NEVER EVER ... not even today, not over $8.00 ... nope that would be totally stupid and ridiculous. Who would run their bank account so thin that $8 would make such a difference right, is not like times are tough and you don't wanna get behind and sometimes it just has to stay that thin until your next paycheck comes ... nope ...we don't ever do that ... NEVER! I can just bet you don't leave without saying bye either, do you??? nope, didn't think so. My husband never does that and I never go behind him to point that he didn't tell me bye ... nope, what point would there be ... yeap, we surely don't!

Do you ever apologize in the middle of the argument because you realized you over reacted and he apologizes because he knows he shouldn't left without saying bye???

Yes we did that too! :)

Life as we know it my friends ... <3

Life couldn't get any better than this

2009-08-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I called my doctor because I was experiencing pain on my bones "down there", know what I mean? With my first pregnancy I had no pain what so ever, except towards the end, probably because I was pretty close to the size of a whale, that being said, I'm only 12 weeks and this pain just wouldn't go away, I got a little worried and left a message to the nurse, who called me back and suggested the Doctor would see me the next day.

I saw the Doctor and she said:
"Oh Honey! Welcome to 2nd pregnancy"

(I'm sorry ... WHAT?! I'm only 12 weeks and I'm hurting like I was at the end of my first???? Wonder how is going to be towards the end)

I guess she could see the look on my face and she said with a smile on hers (not sure why she thought this was funny)

"You are going to feel like you are carrying this baby on your knees"

(hmmm exciting times, right?)

Other than that my nausea is almost gone, I say almost because every single time I feel it's gone, it pays me a visit AGAIN!

Since Mom has been here my house is such a joy to go to, everything is neat, clean, in order, table set and ready for us to eat, after supper we all take a walk to the mail box and sometimes further on the road, we enjoy the sunset together, we play outside, when I say we I mean all four of us, what a delightful time, Nicolas has been so happy, I know is because I'm overjoyed and relax, I mean how could I not, my house is working like a clock and I don't do much of anything, other than going to work and enjoy my family.

I know you may wonder if I had brought my mom to be my maid or something, but let me explain something to you, this is what my mom did for a living all her life, she had always said "I did this for everyone else now is time to do it for you, my love, and your family". The other day I was washing a pot from this wonderful soup she made me (Yes I know it's summer, I was dying to have soup) and she came to the kitchen and fussed at me for doing that, I told her I could at least wash the pot!!

This is my mother, she is loving, totally selfless, completely giving and the best way to show her love, other than her sweet hands hugging me and rubbing my hair is in the kitchen, she is the best cook in the world, she can make, bake, anything you want.

Someone asked me today, "how are things going?" I told them they couldn't be any better, they thought I was being ironic (guess I have a tendency to be that way ... he he he) but it is the honest truth, Life couldn't get any better than this.

Thank you GOD for this wonderful gift!!!!!!

Wonderful times

2009-08-05T07:17:00.000-07:00

I while back I said this summer was going to be filled with special guests at our home.

The first one has come and gone, it was my friend Andrea, whom I met at my first job in Santiago, Chile. We met at the hospital where we all had appointments to have drug test and physicals, you know to be an auditor for PricewaterhouseCoopers you have to proof you are not a drug addict and that your poor self is gonna be able to make those late night hours, sometimes even weekend on rush period, anyway ... we were at the hospital and we started talking and what do I know, she lived in the US for a year too, just like I did and she came to NC, just like I did!!! Anyways, who would of thought we would of been through so many great memories together and others not so fun too, you know, life as we know it. Years went by, we moved on, we left PwC, she got married, had her second child, I got married, moved here, we still kept in touch (just like I do with all my close friends I had while I worked there) and finally she decided to come and visit her host family in NC and she took the time to pay us a visit for a weekend.

When you live far away from old time friends, family, the land that saw you grow up, having an "old time friend" gives you something that can not be explained nor put into words, if you experienced something like this you know what I'm talking about. I drove to a bigger city which was halfway through between both of us and we enjoyed the ride as we remember good times, old stories, review new things going on with our lives and what not, the 3 hour drive felt like nothing. We talked and talked and talked until our tongues gave out, we rested, she needed her resting time, being a single mom of two, this was a well deserved time. We went out to eat, we talked, we went to Main St., we talked, we enjoyed cookies, we talked, we had a wonderful weekend together.

I am so thankful to have friends that will make the effort to come see me, is not easy ride, long, expensive, tiring. Thank you!!!!!!!!

My next guest is much more than a guest, we could call her a "Royal Guest" because is my mother, the woman I adore, the woman who taught me to be a mom, the woman who showed me how to be strong and endure what life throws at you, my mom, the wonderful woman God chose to be my mother (can you tell how much I love her??). She had delight us with her presence since this past weekend and she will be here for 3 months!!!!!!

Oh if you only knew what this means, the love you can feel in my house, the familiar smells I grew up with, she cooks like the angels (do angels cook???), she brought us home made, by her, black berry marmalade, hazelnut pure (a delicious dessert) and tons of other goodies my family sent us, t-shirts, long socks for the winter, cute hand made hats for Nicolas, magazines, all kinds of stuff that I enjoy :).

Best of all has been seing interact my son with his Abuelita, they play, they love each other, although Nicolas gets excited and quickly forgets that his Abuelita doesn't speak any English they communicate through their love and my voice constantly reminding Nicolas how to say certain things in Spanish for her.

My heat is rejoicing, overflowing with love and appreciation for this wonderful woman who grew up in the rural area of Chile, who's bigger trip was probably on a train or bus somewhere local, that same woman took her flight and did everything by herself (God sitting right next to her at all times, that's for sure). I had made arrangements for the airline to provide assistance so she would know how to get around one of the busiest airports on this country and guess what, either because the flight was 30 minutes early or because someone drop the ball somewhere that help never came, she quickly realized it wasn't happening so she decided to start asking for help around the airport, that's how a pilot (who didn't speak any Spanish) helped her get her bags from the belt and motion to someone at the airport to bring her a baggy and loaded her bags there for her, the lady sitting beside her at the plane, who was bilingual, helped her go through international police and then got her connected with another girl from the plane who was also bilingual and she went with her all the way to the terminal (I'm telling the story in a very short way, this was after she had asked everyone else for help and what not). The result was my mom was ready with her bags and everything before we were even there, thank goodness we spent the night at a hotel right by the airport so when my cell phone rings at 6:30 am I knew it had to be her, who else would call me at that time, we took off and got her, she was oh so excited, she made it through all by herself (and God beside her), this was exactly what I wanted for her to have a positive experience!! I know what you are thinking, that wasn't a very positive experience, her help never came but you know what? this gave her confidence, she did it, she found a way to get help (God put wonderful people on her way) and did it. This is her 3rd trip to see us but the previous two times she had somebody with her so this was her first trip solo!!

Mom hasn't been here but a few hours when this picture was taken and there she is wearing her apron already :) I LOVE THIS WOMAN!!!!!

I will never do it again.

2009-07-27T13:02:00.001-07:00

This past weekend a mother lost her 18 year old son, her "baby" boy, this woman is my husband's second cousin, I think I've seen her once (in a visitation), we've never spoken, we just shook hands, gave smiles and move on to the next person in line, the visitation where we met was for her grandmother. Although I've never actually talk to her, my heart goes for her ... I can not imagine the pain, the shock, the pain, the anger, the pain, the confusion, the pain of loosing your son. He was only 18, he was going to College this fall. He had a girlfriend, friends, a normal life, you know? It was all taken in a second, the second he decided to text while driving!! That second was enough to make his car go off the road, when he realized he corrected too hard, the car rolled over, hit a tree, the tree felt on his neck and killed him, immediately!! (Beautiful thing is that he was a donor so hopefully his organs will help others live longer).

I text a lot, at work, at home, while cooking, while driving YES while driving!! After this horrible accident, I can promise you I won't do it anymore ... ever ... I don't care if it's an emergency, I don't care if it's the Pope ... I am not texting while driving anymore.

My heart goes to this mother and family, to his brother who's only 21. What a pain and loss.

I love my blackberry (how twisted is to love a 'thing' like a blackberry) but I will not text while I drive ... NEVER ... I promise from this moment on ... I will not!

Pray for this family and if you text (like I did) please don't do it while you drive!

Our first encounter ... oh the JOY!

2009-07-22T05:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our first ultrasound and actually first Doctor's appointment. I was nervous, not sure why but I was, I guess the excitement, the anticipation, the what if's in the back of my mind that I'd never allow to be more than a split second but then it ends right there ... know what I mean?

So Matt and I went, we didn't have to wait much (which is a miracle on itself because I've learned that any time you have a doctor's appointment your time is never the time you are seen), pee in the cup, get on that ~~pretty~~ yucky gown and the Doctor came, she was very nice, I really liked her, never had a female before. My old Doctor is not delivering babies anymore. We talked, she checked my breathing among other body parts ;o) and then the ultrasound machine came rolling in and there he/she was.

As soon as she went in, the baby was moving his/her tiny feet and hands, it was adorable, the joy was exactly the same, I wanted to cry of emotion, it was a sweet sweet moment, as sweet as it was when we saw Nicolas for the 1st time.

There was only one moment where our hearts stop for a second, that was when the Doctor said "Let me look around to see if we have more than one baby" I could feel Matt and I just stopped breathing ... and then she said "let's look carefully because at this point they like to hide when there's two" and then she said "well it looks like we only have one" ... whoaaaaaaa ... sight ... back with the living! :)

Oh the joy, to hear his/her heart beat, to see him/her move ... to know you are in there darling baby, moving happily inside of me.

The nausea is almost gone and of course heart burn has made it first appearances but I'll take that any time instead of nausea!

Exciting times ahead!

"If this is not YOUR child ..."

2009-07-16T06:29:00.000-07:00

You know how we, as parents, like to see what feature (habit, looks, you name it) of ours our kids have in them?. Not long ago the three of us went out to eat at a Pizza Place (one of my favorite foods since pregnancy # 2 started) and I looked at Nicolas, this is what I see, my sweet eyes dimpled faced child with a brownie on one hand and a plane pizza slice on the other, I gave Matt this looked and told him "If this is not YOUR child I don't know what ...". We both laughed and kept on eating. As we left the restaurant a guy drove by, windows down, loud music (Hispanic music I must say) and as soon as my son heard it, he started dancing right there in the middle of the side walk, that's when Matt looked at me and said "and if this is not YOUR child, i don't know what..." ha ha ha.

Last night as I'm laying on the couch after I went to the store, did laundry, swept the basement, yes I overdid myself but I haven't had energy in a long long time so like my husband told me "you got too proud of yourself" :). Back to the subject, as I was laying there Matt started Nico's bath (he always does that for him), Nico got in the water and was playing with what you could consider 50% of all his toys in there but of course he needed one more toy.

N: "Daaaaaddy!!!"

M: "Yes Nicolas?"

N: "I need Diego in the bathtub"

M: "Where is Diego?"

N: (small pause) "On the table"

Matt went to look and there it was, now let me explain something to you, this is the son of two people who are always looking for keys, glasses, cell phones, wallets, purses ... etc. We spend a lot of time trying to find that one thing we need, well our son, has toys in his bedroom, living room, dinning table (that's where Diego was) and he left it there the night before (I know you are wondering we don't pick up the toys everyday??? nope we don't, only the ones from the living room floor that drive me nuts, the rest is move to the side and it's fine) and he knew exactly where it was, so obviously this little person has some features of his own. Like knowing where he left his stuff.

I wonder if it'll stick until teen years ... I know, nice try, right?

Happy

2009-07-13T17:16:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I've sat down to write down in my blog, I've had some tiring days lately, not only because my husband went on Mission Trip for 11 days but also because I'm pregnant (8 weeks yesterday) so my level of energy has been extremely low, adding to that there has been some on going nausea (nothing else thank goodness) so mix it all together and you have one tired woman.

Today has been the first day that I actually feel with energy to cook, do laundry, have a normal conversation with my husband, play with my son and of course, post something on here. :)

Since my pregnancy has been very different this time around, almost everyone has told me "may be this time it's a girl ..." which I understand but really I'd be happy with 2 boys, boys are all I know, I have everything for a boy and to be quite honest I'm not this very girly girl who loves pink (actually I can't stand pink) and all girly stuff, don't take me wrong I'm not a manly looking female either, I just don't have it in me ... know what I mean? Anyways, I'm not saying if I have a girl I wouldn't be happy, all I'm saying is the prototype of having a boy and a girl is so strongly engraved in people's mind that everyone is pulling for "the girl" and I really would be happy being queen of the house, surrounded by all my men! (I always got along better with males, anyway ... ha ha ha ha).

We have not told our son yet, we feel the wait seems forever for them and until I'm fully showing we won't say much to him, although it seems that he already knows something since he told the couple that kept the nursery on Sunday "My Mommy has a baby in her belly!" ok so may be he knows more than what we would like to admit but at this point we are not talking about it yet. (He could of heard someone asking him "so your mommy has a baby in her belly?" for all we know).

So bath time ran short and I couldn't finished this, now an hour and a half later I totally forgot where I was going with this post, all I know is today I felt great and I want to blame it all in my husband, the fact that he's home, helping, understanding (I almost burned the ground beef tonight, to the point of ruining supper but salt, pepper, oregano,lots of Parmesan cheese and a very understanding husband can fix anything, right?) has me so happy that tonight was a great evening, the fact that our son was happy had a lot to do with it too, but may be that had to do with the fact that I was happy :).

Hoping for more happy days as we receive lots of sweet guests this summer, I'll post more about that later.

Happy evening everyone!

Father's Day thoughts and celebration

2009-06-21T17:55:00.000-07:00

My mom used to tell me "I just want you to have a better life than me". Her life was full of sacrifices and few hard times (may be more than few) but she's a wonderful woman and through prayer and hard work made sure my life was "better" - I finished High School, I got a college education, I have a husband and a son, obviously she had a daughter but she didn't have any of the other things I just mention, on that regard yes my life has been better and I will be forever thankful for all that and much more she has given me and continues to give me 'til this day.

As my son celebrated his daddy today - as much as an almost 3 year old can do - I thought how my son is already having a better life than me - which is every parents wish - he has a daddy, a wonderful daddy, one that is present in his every day life, one that starts his bath every night, one that has a calm tone of voice to calm him down when he's in the middle of a tantrum, one that plays with him, rolling on the floor and making him fly, one that plays with him outside on Sundays when we get home from church while I get things ready for lunch, one that used to put his cereal bowl on his back while he was laying on his legs as a baby :), one that takes him out for breakfast and into the park on Saturdays, one that studies every word and move of his son, that's a Daddy!!! I had a wonderful fatherly figure in my life but I didn't have a Daddy and I'm forever thankful and blessed that my son has that!

This week Nicolas made a pretty picture for his daddy (thanks to his teacher from daycare!) and we went to picked a card for him, which he did all by himself, of course it was a Mickey Mouse Card!! :) I wasn't sure the card was gonna make it home that day, because he kept opening it and closing it, just to see Mickey Mouse popped up "one more time mommy". He was excited.

This morning I prepared yummy breakfast, chocolate chip pancakes, scramble eggs and sausage, orange juice and coffee (although I have to admit coffee looked crappy ... not sure why it just did ... oh well ... we are not perfect, are we!). Nicolas went running to wake his daddy up and when he came to the table we had his present and card, Nicolas ~~helped me wrap the present~~ took a couple of pieces of tape and stuck them on the present and he was so proud.

After church we had a good nap and then head to my in-laws for a father's day celebration that turned out really fun, kids played outside with their daddies, moms talked and watched the games, kids ran around until the point of exhaustion and then we came home with full bellies and filled hearts!

What a great day!

Always present in my mind, my Mom, the woman who did the double duty, the one who not once spoke bad about my father - although he was never on the picture - the one who taught me the importance of hard work and that no matter how hard life gets, God is always here with us, to help us get through anything!!

Te Adoro mi viejita!

Interesting conversations and more

2009-06-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

One of the things I love about our son (among many other things that I adore about him) is his way with words. We've had some pretty interesting conversations lately.
He loves to look at pictures of our trips to Chile. I love that he loves that because it keeps memories fresh in his ~~little~~ big mind.

The other day Matt and I were getting ready to go out to eat and I was explaining to Nicolas he was going to spend some time with "Nana" and "Poppie". He said "OK" and a few minutes after that he looked at me and said "But why can't I go to "Tita's House??" (that's my mom = Tita). This breaks my heart but it also flatters me to know that he would like to spend some time with the grandmother he's lucky to see once a year, the one that doesn't speak any English, the one he talks on the phone once a week, I love that!!!!

Saturday morning I was talking to him and I asked him if he would like to have a brother or a sister?. A while back I asked him this and he said "nope, my friend John Patrick has a brother so that's OK" ha ha ha so I decided to ask again and see if he had changed his mind. His answer was:
"Siiiiiister!!!!! Sister!!!!! where are you????? Com'on Mami we gotta go find her"
So I still think he's a little confused on what a Sister (Brother) is at this point ... he he he.

He is such a big boy! Not wearing diapers at night (we have finally mastered the potty training during the day and nap time), we switched to pull-ups and the first night he woke up totally dry, last night he got a little wet but nothing huge ... he was so excited when we told him no more diapers at night, I think they made him uncomfortable because he's been sleeping much better now! (fingers cross).

Couple of weeks ago we went to a party and there was a pool and he enjoyed it beyond measure.

I can not believe what a big little guy he has become.

My favorite time a day with him is still first thing in the morning when he comes, crazy hair, blanket on his shoulder and eyes half closed to wake me up and ask for his milk, followed by an immediate request of picking him up by lifting his arms up, we have that code ... we are not morning people and not much talking is being made first thing in the morning, so we lay together on the couch and snuggle as he drink his milk.

Yesterday afternoon we went to play outside, I got carried away puling weeds (is there anything more rewarding than pulling those suckers!!) and I found a worm so I showed it to him, he was soaking wet, been playing in the water and I didn't care, I remember being little and my mom used to get upset when I got wet or dirty and what was the fun on playing outside if you couldn't get wet or dirty, right??? In my mom's defense I must say we did not owned a washer so she had to wash clothes by hand, with a brush and soap, not fun!!! I probably wouldn't even let my kids see the outside if I didn't have a washing machine. :) Back to the worm, I showed him how it moved and how it rolled up and all that and he thought that was cool. Cute moment between mother and son. After that we all went inside, after changing his clothes we all sat on the couch and watch whatever he wanted to watch. Ate supper siting there, completely lazy and lay back ... it was an awesome evening!

I know this is all random but I needed to leave a note of all the things my boy has been doing and saying lately.

He can be an angel

He can also be a little terror.

We love you son!!!

Something to complain reflect on

2009-06-05T20:46:00.000-07:00

Friday night almost mid night, I can hear my dryer going (when isn't it going at night? ha!) I'm enjoying my huge cup of hot tea (just like I used to drink it in Chile) and the privacy and freedom of this evening. Nicolas is asleep, Matt is out with friends (don't worry tomorrow is my turn) and I am here, glue to my laptop reading all the blogs I follow and they are all so inspiring but out of all the things that I have in mind right now (You wouldn't believe how many different topics are in storage ... let's see ... interesting conversation with my toddler, daddy having an ear ache that lasted longer than expected, cleaning my pantry for the first time since I've been married, well and more ...) there's one that seems to be a repetitive one as I went through my week. Not only I am at fault on this but a lot of those - strangers and not strangers - that I have come in contact this week.

I'm talking about COMPLAINING!

How often do we do it? Why do we do it? Do we get anywhere with it? (this is a tricky one because if you complain to your cell company may be you could get a deal ... I don't know, I'm just guessing!) ... back on topic ... think about how many times you've complain this week, or not even that long the past 2 days. CRAZY ins't it?

Here are some of the examples I've experienced this week:

I complaint after I offer to do a shower for a friend because things were not turning out as I had plan them in my head (emphasize I ... who's the shower for??? that's right, my friend ... not me ... God spoke to me big time on this one).

I complaint to the girl at the bank when she asked the teller next to her if they were allowed to give me cash back, before I could even think words came out of my mind "Why wouldn't you, we have an account here!!!" (worse part? I had just heard a sermon on ANGER before I left work to go to the bank ... OUCH!)

Many customers I've talked to this week had complaint about the rain - we at the office have done it too - but for the last two years we've been complaining about the drout.

As I was waiting in a very small line (two people in front of me, one behind me) at the Wal-Mart pharmacy the lady behind me asks me "That looks like more than 5 items to me, don't you think???" pointing at an old couple who decided to bring their few items to the pharmacy as they pay for their prescription too (I still believe they have 5 items or less) but who cares??? The lady at the pharmacy could of let them bring more than 5 items, they were older, the man needed assistance to walk ... there was only 2 people in front of me - I promise you - it didn't take long ... so I didn't say anything else than "I really don't think they have more than 5 items" I wanted to say much more but I decided if I wasn't going to be nice I shouldn't open my mouth anymore ...

The secretary of the church where my son goes to preschool complaint to the Director of it that the teachers were showing too much cleavage (I bet she doesn't shop at Wal-Mart, she could have a heart attack by seeing some of the "things" you see people exposing there ... ha ha ha).

We complaint we have too much work, we complaint when work it's slow.

Jon & Kate complaint about the media following them, I'm sure they complaint when no one knew them and they didn't know how to pay their bills (sorry I do have People Magazine next to my laptop).

See where I'm going???

This is like an epidemic, it's contagious, we are in constant complain,
why do we do it????

What good does it do to our hearts????

Is it worth it????

I believe is part of our natural ways, it comes out before we can think about it, but we can make a difference by seeing the other side of things too. Much easier said than done but you know, life is what it is, God has a perfect plan for us and we are not going to like what HE has in store for us 24/7. Just like my mom used to tell me growing up "Things are not always going to happen the way YOU want them to happen" I'm sure she knew a lot about that (when she found out not only that she was pregnant but that my dad "forgot" to tell her he was married and already had 2 daughters of his own!).

Let's face it, perfection doesn't exist, life is not perfect, is unfair and it's ugly sometimes but there are also so many things that are wonderful about it.

Like this moment of tranquility at my house, like my son running to me when I pick him up from daycare all excited yelling "maaaaaaaaaaami, maaaaaaaami", like the time I could see in Matt's eyes that he was no longer in pain, like the play date I'm going to have tomorrow with 4 wonderful friends (2 of them I don't get to spend time with because they live out of town and I got the privilege to know them when I was an exchange student here back in 1994), you name it, there is plenty.

Yes there is!

Like the moment I clean my pantry and I realized I really don't need to go to the grocery store again because I have more than plenty in there ... see!!! We got so many things to be thankful for, I know there are terrible situations out there, I know people are aching, suffering, hurting, I know that but I also know there are good things in this life that we should recognize and value because we have no promises about what tomorrow it's going to bring, we could be really struggling then!

I do know one thing, if I don't go to bed right now I'll be complaining in the morning "why didn't I go to bed earlier" :)

Jon and Kate plus 8

2009-05-26T11:11:00.000-07:00

Do you ever watch Jon & Kate plus 8?? I started watching it not long ago, I didn't realized how little TV I was watching - which is OK - until I hear all my friends talking about this and that reality show. (Sorry ... I just watched 24 and Lost and when I could remember I watched "Brothers & Sisters"). Anyway, so I started watching this a few months ago when they had a marathon on a Sunday, so after lunch that day I watched tons of episodes and felt in love with those precious children and it was an inspiration to me to see a couple make it with 8 children, surely Matt & I can do it with one (or may be two ... don't worry I'm not pregnant but let's just say we are not preventing it ...)

If you have look at the cover of magazines lately you surely know about him apparently cheating on her and how she is going crazy over fame, looks, money and what not ... or so that's what those non serious magazines say. Who knows! Only they know what's true! (We only know the truth about ourselves, even when we pretend we don't)

After watching last night's episode I was sad, sad to see a family crumble ... sad to hear one of those sweet little girls tell her Daddy how she misses him and she doesn't want him to ever go away again, doesn't this break your heart??? and let's just be honest, we don't even know this family, we just watch them on TV, we don't know their feelings, their struggles, their pain, we only see what TLC wants us to see! Can you imagine what this does to that Dad when he heard her say that??? Wow, I can't imagine the painful days they are going through. Hearing a couple say they are in something just because of the kids ... OUCH! Serious trouble ahead, big mistake we all make pretty often, we put kids before marriage WRONG THING TO DO!

How ironic is that reality TV is so not real. May be this show was pretty real at the beginning (I did not watch it then) but for what I could read on her blog today a lot of fans wrote comments saying how much she has changed, how their lives went from normal to celebrity style.

How much are we willing to risk for extra money?? How much are we willing to sacrifice so we can "give our kids what they deserve"?? What a twisted world we live in, do we really know what our kids deserve???? They deserve love, a good education and a healthy life. That's it, kids are happy playing with boxes and simple things, kids are happy being free. Yes they get excited to see fancy stuff, getting to meet movie characters and things but that doesn't last ... at the end of the day what matters the most is that hug you got from your mom and dad, what matters is to feel loved and accepted by those around you - and when you are a child those around you are just your family. (Just like I hope I never forget what I saw when I walked by the living room and I heard Nicolas as he's jumping on the couch saying "I love mommy and daddy ... I love mommy and daddy" with a singing tone. What an awesome feeling that was ... )

I'm not pointing finger, I don't have two sets of multiples, I didn't agree to have cameras on me 24/7, I didn't agree to have to travel around the country to sign up books or give interviews ... I'm not Kate, my husband is not Jon ... I'm not in their shoes. What do we know!!!

All I know is that this family is in trouble, they are breaking, this couple is going on different directions ... how many times do we feel that way with our spouse? Do you feel disconnected sometimes? I could pretty much guess that we have all felt that way, how thankful I am we don't have cameras on us 24/7, photographers following every where we go, yes they agreed to live a life like this, I understand but there's a limit on how much a family can put up with. I pray they decide to live their lives for them and not for the public, the fans, the money they are making or whatever it is driving their every move at this point in time.

Yes she treats him bad, disrespectfully but by Gohly he puts up with it!!!
What's wrong with this picture!!!!

I'm thankful for my ordinary life, I'm thankful I don't have many children (that's just not something I think I could handle but who knows, God may surprise me along the way too), I'm thankful my husband doesn't put up with me when I adopt a "Kate attitude", He quickly reminds me on how important is to keep respect in line! I know I have prayed many times to respect my husband, to get ride of those feelings that we hormonal-emotional-inpatient-women have toward our husbands and each time I pray God gives me what I need :)

Marriage is not easy ... can you imagine adding 8 children and cameras to that???? phew

Runnin' Thin

2009-05-19T07:25:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you are "running thin" with all the roles of your life???? You know, your relationship with your spouse, your motherhood roles, your housekeeper role, your working outside the home role ... and then there are your personal needs, wants, really wants, do I really have to do this for myself needs (exercising) ... etc.

I feel like I'm always running thin on at least one of these. I try for it to be those that are not so important - or the ones that I like the least (exercise) :)

Yesterday was a good example of this.

I left work to go to the bank (make a deposit for work) then ran to CVS to get a prescription that of course was never called in and then went to pick up my boy - which is the HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY, when I pull in and he sees me from the fenced playground area and he runs to the door yelling "Moooooooooommy" and I run to him and we hug like we haven't seen each other in so long - which actually feels like so long, 9 hours is a long time away from each other.

Back to the point ... we head home, I tell him I need to get supper started and then I'll play with him. Which he agrees to so sweetly (it's not always this way) and I get supper going, next I'm rolling on the floor playing with Mickey Mouse Club House or pretending to be a baby that needs her bottle, he wraps me with his blankie and gives me my milk (which is actually a stick ... hahahaha). Supper is ready, time to clean up the table (yes my dinning table is always full of stuff) and eat supper. After supper we go outside and play while Daddy is weed eating (I've always found that term to be so funny), we go for a walk, check our mailbox, we go back inside, we play some more, table is still not fully clean, watched some TV together, it's too late to take a bath, I just washed the essentials, put on his PJs, read 3 books, brush teeth, say our prayers together with Daddy and the last thing we do together is talk about our day, which is another one of my favorite things to do with my son. :) After that I take my shower (finally I feel I have some ME time, isn't crazy how an essential of everyday life becomes your ME TIME??) and then time for Hubby & Me Time. Watched the season finale of 24. While I'm watching I'm petting our dog Buddy (I feel we ~~neglect him~~ don't spend much time with him since we became parents). Close to midnight 24 we finished watching it (thanks for TiVo) and guess what ... there were still some dishes in the sink I had to put in the dishwasher, Nico's milk cup needed clean up too ... quickly loaded my dishwasher ... oh no my table looks full of stuff again ... oh forget it is too late now.

Hit the bed!

5:30 am Nicolas comes to our bed, we snuggle for about 45 minutes and it's time to do it all over again.

That's what life is all about, isn't it? Thank goodness we can start all over again every day.

Oh the mood swings in toddlers

2009-05-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

As every Thursday after work, I pick my son up and went to the grocery store, only this time we had another very important place to go before we went to the store, our local Chick-Fil-A, I wasn't planing on going there at all but Nico's Pre-School Director was eating and had a bag from the restaurant that my son was able ~~to read~~ recognize so before we even left the office he said "Mommy, I wanna eat at Chick-Pil-A" yes with a P ... it's not a typo! that's what he calls it, of course he said it so sweetly I couldn't pass it, I totally felt for it. So I said "Sure! let's go".

Off we go with our happy selves, he is all smiles, he's walking into the restaurant like he owns the place, so happy to be there, so excited, we order our food, we sit down and eat he's ready to hit the playground and all the excitement and happiness was taken away then! :(

He didn't want to go up the climbing part

"Mommy I CAN'T DO IT!!!!!!"

"Yes you can Nicolas, you've done this before plenty of times!"

"NOOOOOO MOMMY, I CAN'T DOOOOO IT"

"Nicolas if you would come down you could do it"

(what am I doing, trying to reason with a toddler, I have major problems don't I)

You know how these moments are kind of uncomfortable, well let's just think what would we need on this picture to make it worse
... That's Right ...
someone that you barely know is in the playground too
... a guy your husband is friends with, they used to be close friends growing up, he's bubbly and all super happy (irritating the poop out of me since I'm trying to calm down so I can get my child to calm down too) and all nicely decides to talk to me as I'm attempting to reason with my very frustrated toddler.

Let's just say that didn't help matters at all, Nicolas got more frustrated although some how he manages to make it up the climbing steps ...

"Yeay You did it!!! ... Yes Matt's been doing great, how are you?"

trying to have multiple conversations at once is hard, when you know the man is not really listening to you on the first place as he's more worried about his blackberry (not that I have ever been in that situation myself ... yeah right) than our conversation but oh well ... I decided to go back to the eating area to finish my supper, somehow I realized my child is unhappy again.

I walk in there and he's screaming again "Mommy, GET ME DOWN!!!!"
"Nicolas, you've done this before, just relax and come down please"

(Of course Mr. all happy and bubbly is still there, enjoying his daughter as she plays on the playground so well)

"NOOOOOOO MOMMY ... GET ME DOOOOOOOOWN!!!!"

"Nicolas, calm down and ... " "NOOOOOOOOOO MOMMYYYYYYYY"

We are finally alone in the playground
"Nicolas come down the playground Now!"
"Noooooooooo"

this same repetitive conversation went on for a few minutes until my patience ran thin and I had to climb up through the tube slide to get my son, as soon as our eyes met he started crying really really load and put his hands on his behind ... he knew what was coming and it did happened indeed.

I told him afterward "When Mommy Calls You ... YOU COME, do you understand?" he said "Yeah " ... "Yes Ma'am".

I was so mad, I told him I was NEVER going to take him there AGAIN!!

(why did I say that???? Now I really can't take him ... gotta keep my word)

I decided to still go on with our plan and we went to the grocery store, Nicolas knew I wasn't happy, he asked me what he always asks me when I'm mad "Mommy are you mean???"
No son I'm not mean I'm just upset right now "Oh Mommy is upset right now!"
"Mommy Can I have a ball??? Mommy can I have that toy? Mommy can I have this and that and the whole store right this instant????"

"Nicolas ... we are her to get groceries not toy, not balls not anything else, OK??"

"Ok Mommy ... Oh Mommy you are so sweet ... I love you Mommy ... Hug!!!"
As I hug him he says "I'm sorry mommy for being bad on the playground" so of course I tell him I love him and that I'm sorry for yelling, guess what he asked me next ...

A few minutes go by as we keep going down the aisles of the store and as I'm trying to decide if this Ants Killer Powder is worth it I hear
"Mommy is never gonna take me to Chick-Pil-a Again ... that was very very ugly ..."

I take the powder, surely it will work and I he says

"Mommy Can I have a Ball???"

:)

What kind of night did you have?

How often does your patience runs thin in public places?

Life as we know it (bold honesty be aware)

2009-05-11T09:33:00.000-07:00

Have you notice how we all like to show our "perfect" lives in our blogs? How are children are always marvelous and well behaved - yeah you got to mention a few tantrums and things like that here and there so it'll be normal and credible, right? or if you look in Facebook everyone's status is perfect and glamorous??? ha ha ha ... that's right I'm laughing because my Mother's Day was far from perfect, it got much better as the day went on but that "commercial like Mother's day" that you see on TV wasn't exactly how it was at my house, no breakfast in bed, no jewelry, no flowers - Please know that I'm not putting my husband down at all - I'm just showing a true picture of normal life or as normal it is for us -

Saturday morning as I'm getting ready to get out of the house to go get my haircut I reminded my husband that Sunday was Mother's Day - I've heard or read somewhere that if you are a woman who love cards and details you shouldn't set up your husband for failure but instead remind him that you would really like a card or something on that special day - well I always felt weird because my thought was if he can't remember than why should I remind him? then it won't be real ... know what I mean? but my panic of waking up on Mother's day and not having a card from my son and my husband was more than I could take so I gave in and I told him FIRST BIG MISTAKE ... he looked at me all confused - I'm sure he thought WHAT??? YOU THINK I FORGOT TOMORROW IS MOTHER'S DAY???? WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO???? ... so after the confused look I just told him I didn't want any gifts ... that last year he did really good with my card and my rose that Nicolas so sweetly handed me. He said he'd have to go to town sometime today and I told him not to worry, I'd be back from the Salon in a couple of hours. Looking back I feel so stupid and selfish and ugly!

Stop ... just so you have all the information, my husband hurt his neck and knee between stress and playing softball, he took a muscle relaxer on Friday night that did not got out of his system 'til probably yesterday at lunch time - so he was in a confusing state of mind anyway! when I'm trying to remind him of what I WANT! Not thinking at all how he is feeling but what I WANT! :(

So I leave, get my haircut, come home ... Nicolas and I have lunch together, My husband is still under the influence of some massive muscle relaxer - we all took loong and well deserved naps and then Matt wanted to go to town and I asked if we could all go together as a family. You know us women are always pushing the "family time" :) So he agreed and we went, our first stop was Wal-Mart where he said he was gonna get what I already knew he was going to get me ... SECOND MISTAKE I had no idea that he was going to get me a radio for the kitchen, we had talked about it a while back but I promise I did not think about this being a Mother's Day Present! I am a woman who loves surprises and I just ruin mine :( He showed me which one he thought I'd like but I chose another one :D so I was indeed excited about my FM Radio, CD Player and MP3 Player that is already set up and playing on my kitchen!! After that we separated at the store so he could get my card and his Mom's, Nicolas and I went our ways and found a few items I forgot from my previous trip, you know important stuff like a set of 2 belts for him, refill for the flushable wipes, etc. We met at the cashiers and I could tell he was fully stress out he told me everyone was being ugly in front of the Card Stand, people elbowing each other trying to get the card they wanted so knowing my husband like I do (or I think I do) I KNOW this was a bad experience and what do I say with my smart mouth? What do you expect honey, it is the evening before Mother's Day, of course everyone is going to be ugly about it. THIRD MISTAKE! So we go on into our next stop, we bought take out and head to the park. This was my favorite part, we ate together, we play, it was a good moment.

By the time we got home, it was late, Matt had to mow the yard since his family was coming for supper the next day and I started to frantically prepare the 2 pans of lasagna I was going to serve my guesses the next night, I was not going to cook on Mother's day, you know!

As Matt came in it was way pass Nicolas' Bath time, so as they are quietly doing something I go and look for Matt to ask him to run the water and what do I do????

I totally ruin my next surprise, Matt was trying to get Nicolas to say "Happy Mother's Day" on this recordable card ... UGH ... DO I NEED TO KEEP PUTTING MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH LIKE THIS OVER AND OVER???

A N D ... LIKE THIS WASN'T ENOUGH I WALKED IN MY HUSBAND WRITING THE CARD LATER as Nicolas is screaming for me to come and bath him but of course I have the noodles boiling and I gotta put the Lasagna together ... total mess!!!!!!

Needless to say an argument followed (not a major one) and I started crying ... I cry that evening and I woke up and cried again ... what was going through my mind? I've ruin my Mother's Day! Totally ruin ... why couldn't I had kept my stupid mouth shut ... of course that was after I kept blaming it all on my husband in my mind!!

Yes my husband and son gave me my cards ... of course there was no surprise in that ... there was no signs of me celebrating ... I was totally down and wrapped up in what I WANTED ... :(

How selfish can I be that on Mother's Day I called my mom to wish her a happy day and I started crying on her, telling her how I feel and why I feel this way to the point that we are both crying ... did I already mention I cried all morning???

I wasn't gonna go to church, my eyes were puffy and red and it was just so obvious I've been crying!!! but I knew better and we went to Church and as soon as I got in Sunday School I knew I was glad to be there.

God slowly started to tell me that the only JOY in life I can find is totally through HIM. Yes our husbands and children can make us happy but the true JOY comes from Him and only Him!

Once I got "rescued" by HIM my day got so much better, Church was sweet, the little children came to the services and handed flowers to their mommies, Nicolas came to me so excited, he wanted to keep the flower to himself ... hahahahahahaha. He made me a pretty photo magnet with his picture on it - he looks so big in it ... glup - we went home and while Nicolas and Daddy played I fixed lunch and it was yummy. I had to clean the house a little more before everyone came but I had time to take a nap ... everyone came, everybody behaved, food was yummy and all ended well.

As of my Mom, she had a pretty good day herself, after I called her back and apologize so many times for being so selfish and ruining her morning - she said "Honey, this is life, I love that you come to me to tell me your things, I'm so happy you are feeling better" ISN'T SHE THE BEST?????????????

The last time I called her was for Nicolas to wish her a Happy Mother's Day in Spanish and she was thrilled, needless to say so was I ... how sweet was that!

It was a good day after all the drama I created!

Note to Self:
never underestimate the power of my husband
do not remind him ever again that tomorrow is Mother's Day
acknowledge and accept the fact that you are not going to get woken up with breakfast in bed or any shenanigan like that ... that's just not how your husband is, but He Loves Me and I Love Him so that's all it matters after all!

Mother's Day

2009-05-09T19:58:00.000-07:00

Helping my friend's class to write mother day's cards in Spanish I was taken back to my childhood years. As I sat there on those tiny chairs and read their sweet letters to Mom I remember all the ones I wrote my Mom when I was little. How many times I thank her for everything she did (and still does) for me, how every year I wrote to her that her efforts for my future were tremendously appreciated (of course I didn't use those words), how I couldn't live without her, how I will always love her, how I wish I could do more for her, how she was my life ... and today I look back and I'm thousand miles away from her,

yes we talk twice a week,

yes I will see her in a couple of months (God willing)

but tomorrow ... I won't be with her.

I know I'm not the only one, I know there are many who don't have their mom on this earth anymore, I know I'm not the only one away from "home" but no matter how many years go by, Mother's Day will always be a bitter sweet day for me.

I love that I am a Mom so now I can take part on this celebration but I can't hug my mom ... I will call her tomorrow, we will both cry and I will tell her again

OH HOW MUCH I LOVE HER

HOW MUCH I THANK HER FOR ALL THE EFFORTS SHE DID FOR ME ... TO GIVE ME AN EDUCATION

FOR MAKING ME A BETTER PERSON

FOR TEACHING ME ABOUT GOD AND THE WORLD AROUND ME

FOR ALLOWING ME TO MAKE MY OWN CHOICES

FOR LOVING ME UNCONDITIONALLY AND UNSELFISHLY

FOR ENCOURAGING ME EVEN THOUGH SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING I DID OR SAID. You see, when your mom only went to school 'til 4th grade there are many things that are over her head and yet she still tries to understand, she is still willing to listen, even though she's never been married she still gives me sweet advice on how to support my husband and on the one job she took and accepted to heart - motherhood - she is still my hero!!

I love you "MAMITA" no matter how far we are, no matter how much longer we are on this life together, no matter where life takes us next TE AMO CON TODO MI CORAZON!

As I've always told her if I'm half the good mom you are I will feel so successful!

Happy Mother's Day to all

About Role Playing and hating my rolls!

2009-05-05T07:27:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning Nico and I had a great time playing with Playdough - at our house Playdough is a treat - a reward. It worked really good that way when Nicolas was getting up from his bed many times during the night so we made a promise. If he stayed in his bed all night he could play with it in the morning. It worked. We still use it for that and for pooping in the potty and any other situation that comes to mind :)

So ... back to Saturday ... we sat on our kitchen floor and played. Boy did we play!! We had a party, we made cookies and our friends Mickey and Toodles came over to have cookies and juice. Unfortunately our friend Mickey got himself into the juice cup so quickly Nico put him in time out.

It's so interesting to see all the things your child will do with his role playing. Nicolas loves to put his friends in time out ... I'm not sure that's good or not ... but at least he knows there's discipline in this house and if you do something to get in trouble ... well there will be a consequence, right?

He loves to make cookies and pizza with his playdough. Of course we also make snakes, balls, phones and who knows what else!

After our morning fun ... Mommy took time to spend time with her friends too!

I had a girls night out. I went out to eat - spend way more money than I expected but it was fun and worth it. After that we went to the movies, to watch a girly one, we laughed, it was a good evening!!

Speaking of going out to eat, I have to say something about food. It's been bothering me for a while ... I've gain all my weight back since I decided to go on a Diet. Slowly but surely I manage to get all my precious 10 lbs. back ... I'm so disappointed and discourage, I think I'm gonna leave the program I am in because if I'm not willing to do my part, what's the point on spending $60 a month on buying protein bars and stuff like that. I love a good meal with friends, I love sweets, if they are around me I'm gonna eat them ... I have no desire to exercise, I've always hate it. I remember being in High School dreaming that one day my mom would let me present that fake note to my P.E. Teacher in which it would say something like "I'm sorry, my daughter had spring her ankle yet again so she can't run all those laps for ya!" Yes that's the kind of lazy a*s I am ... can you tell I'm upset with myself? Saturday after Nicolas and I played I took my shower and when I confronted myself with the mirror I was so mad, I took pictures of my fat rolls (those on my back - muffin top - my belly) and I'm suppose to print them and put them on my mirror, someone told me that could work. Help needed here "sistas" ... I don't wanna be a fat mom, I wanna be happy with myself ... and sure enough I'm not happy right now. Thank goodness I'm still a 10. If ever go back to 12 again ... Oh let's not even talk about it!

I can find all kinds of "excuses" for not exercising:
1) I don't have time
2) I don't wanna leave my child in the evening since I work from 8 to 5 just to go to the gym.
3) I live on top of a mountain I'm far away from everything and I'm not gonna walk on the road filled with nasty animals (snakes)
4) I'm not consistent with it ... If is not consistent is not helping me at all. Why bother ...
5) I didn't play sports growing up
6) I'm sitting all day long at the office, I don't walk anywhere because there are no sidewalks on this little town I live in. (Working in Chile in a big city I walked most of the time to and from work so I got my walking in everyday)
7) ok I ran out of options here ... don't have anymore!

Look in all honesty I know I need to drink my 2 liters of water a day and "move" 3 times a week and that's what's hard for me ... oh yeah and stop snacking at work!! :(

I'm just so upset because I did all that and as soon as I stop the exercise and the water ... I gain it all back!

UGH ... why can't I be like my cousin who can eat a whole cow and not gain 1 Oz.?? ... why can't I have the discipline of those friends I have that Diet Hard Core and exercise even harder??? Ok may be I should go and have some ice cream now ... just kidding ... I will drink more water though!

Vlogging

2009-04-30T07:53:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by Amy and here's my video.

The rules are you must post a video of yourself (or your children, if you don't have any of yourself like it is my case) and tagged 3 people and since I know 2 of my 5 followers are very busy moms I'm not going to make them do this, instead I'm just tagging my one follower left (Amy already tagged Sarah too) ... so we'll see if she'll do it. :) Not that you are not busy my friend, I know you have a lot on your plate.

I chose this video because this could really be me 29 years ago, these two men are the same men that walked me to the altar the day I married my Matt. Nope I don't have two dads, actually my dad was never on the picture that's why I chose these two wonderful guys that watched me grow, that played with me when I was little and that threw me in the air just like they are doing with my Nico here.

Enjoy!

And yes this was "filmed" in Chile.

S t e l l a n

2009-04-21T10:21:00.000-07:00

About a month ago my friend Kelly called me and asked me to pray for this little boy name Stellan. Every since that day I've been following his mom's blog and my heart hurts and rejoices at the same time. I hurt because I can't imagine going through something like that with my infant boy, my heart rejoices because I see the hand of God in every step of this long tough road this family is going through.

Today is a crucial day for him, for them, for us who had decided to follow them on this path. Today he's going through surgery, a hard-complicated-not-recomended-for-infants surgery. He is on surgery as I type this, he's been on surgery for hours, all we know is that there is a lot of fluid on his longs and tissue, don't know anything else at this point.

I was asked to wear orange today in honor of Stellan, to let the world know we are praying for him, so I did. I pray every time I reload his mom's website and I see no update, I'm also following her on Twitter (Yes I'm on Twitter too ... I know, too much isn't it!!) no update yet.

I pray every time I see his picture, peacefully asleep minutes before he was connected to a ventilator so they could work on him, I want to cry every time I see him so innocent ... so still ... but I know God is on this one and in all children that are suffering like him, like this family. I don't think I could ever go through something like this without Him.

If you are reading this today, please Pray ... Pray Hard ... Pray like you have never done before. It is that important, it has touch me that much.

My heart goes for this boy and his family!

Appearance

2009-04-17T18:52:00.000-07:00

What would you say if you see a mom - looking normal or as normal as you believe normal is - with a toddler, who's wearing a Halloween t-shirt (in the middle of April) and some old looking navy shorts, going into one of those grocery store where you have to insert a quarter to be able to release the baggy and then she realizes she doesn't have a quarter so she asks another lady for her baggy.
The other lady says "sure, just give me my quarter back"

Oh Sure, says the "normal looking Mom" as she starts looking for a quarter she doesn't have ... while her toddler is being a little uneasy jumping on some bars at the entrance of the store, the mom finds twenty two cents and the other lady says "Honey, don't worry about it, it's ok" with that tone of "bless your heart, I'm really feeling sorry for you" so the "normal Mom" goes into the store feeling a little weird.

Up to this point the story is fine. But what if you realized the normal mom drives a nice car, fairly new looking model Honda, carries a Blackberry on her purse ... I'm sorry what??? She has all that and her son looks all that raggedy and she can't even managed to have a quarter ... weird isn't it?

Well that normal Mom was me, the pitiful looking child was my son who decided to poop on his underwear while at daycare so for some reason the teacher decided to dress him on this "oh not matching at all" outfit (which is totally fine, I'm glad she changed him). My Blackberry is one that I got through work, I don't have to pay for it, and my car ... well my car was a very good deal, one of those that you find on this economic crisis times.

As I kept walking into the store I kept thinking how thankful I was my phone didn't ring or that she didn't see me coming out of my car ... and then I thought how appearance are so tricky and how quickly we are to judge someone by the way we dress, the car we drive, the mobile phone we use (is almost unacceptable if you don't have one these days!) and how there's always a story behind a person's appearance too. For example... the pitiful looking child doesn't always look that way and is not always dress pitifully because his parents are neglectful. Sometimes there are other reasons behind it. This situation has play in my head for a while and then I thought of a bumper sticker I saw on someone's car a while back. It was parked outside a CVS store, it was a very old looking car and the sticker said "Laugh all you want, it's paid for" OUCH ... doesn't this make you think too?

Good Friday

2009-04-10T08:21:00.000-07:00

Obviously I didn't watch the weather forecast for today.

When I woke up this morning I could hear the birds singing, the sun was bright, such a spring filled day, so quickly I grab my new shoes (bought in my last trip to Chile), a short sleeve shirt and a 3/4 sleeve cardigan to be good with my spring weather.

As I drove to work the sky got a little darker ... and darker ... and DARKER!!!! And as I type this it feels like the sky is going to fall down on us at any moment, the rain is coming down hard ... which brings a next thought in mind ...

That day ... the day when Christ was crucified, the pain of a earthly mother (I can bear the thought) the pain of a heavenly father ... no need to say more!

When I was little, growing up in a very traditional environment, in a country where - at that point - there was no chain store, no malls, lucky to have one movie theater, the radios didn't play loud music or upbeat music I should say, instead it was all classical music, no sounds of joy what so ever, it was a day to mourn if you were a believer.

Families got together. We ate yummy treats my mom would cook or bake, the fire place was burning big fat pieces of wood, I can close my eyes and smell it, mmm ... what a comfort ... anyways, things have changed so much as I look back and realize, my hometown has now been invaded by malls, chain restaurants, chain supermarkets (Wal-Mart has even bought the biggest grocery super store chains in Chile - I know, it doesn't sound very promising, does it). So this super traditional day in the life of a believer has become a very commercial oriented day, the long weekend everyone has been looking for to get out of town ... the day to go get your hair done, to go buy something on the mall and PLEASE Let's not forget about the famous Easter Baskets that are becoming like the first part of Christmas - all over again - wow ... how things have changed.

How is it for me today? Well ... the rain has stopped some, I'm still wearing my spring clothes, I'm at work, my husband and son are at home, hopefully on their way to a bouncing place for children so he can take a long nap ... and I haven't stopped yet to think what happened today 2000 and some years ago, the only images that I can bring to mind are those from that movie (The Passion) and it hurts, it's painful to visualized, I can not imagine seeing my son nailed up in a cross ... paying for something he didn't do ... (but instead for something we all have done, still do ... everyday).

...

...

...

Hard to digest, isn't it?! The greatest gift of all happened today thousands of years ago and how do we remember it? how do you celebrate it?

For the first time since Nico has been born, I bought him a few chocolate eggs and chocolate bunnies that he will go and "hunt" in our yard on Friday when the Easter Bunny comes. (Great memories of mine are those on Easter Sunday, when I went to our front yard to collect the goodies the Easter bunny left me - there was no huge basket or anything like that, a few chocolates, yummy treats, enough to make a little girl excited)

What are you doing today? this weekend?

Tales from the Potty - Reloaded -

2009-04-07T19:53:00.000-07:00

You may remember this post before, a very frustrated mother giving her all into this hard milestone, but today, today I shout victory!

The calendar you are seeing shows the progress of my baby pooping in the potty!!- Ok I know he's not a baby anymore -

And below you can see the author of this wonderful master piece - My baby!

The same one who announced to the whole fellowship hall last Sunday that he had poop in the potty that morning, while everyone was still eating breakfast. :)

The same one who told everyone at his cousin's birthday party that he had poop in the potty.

The same one that was put in time out twice yesterday at his preschool for hitting and pushing - ok we'll have to talk about that in another post - let's focus on the postive here!! :)

I love you son, I love your excitement about life and about your accomplishment.

I love how you get happy when other open their gifts - I love that you look forward to "talk about it" every night. (that's what we do every night before he goes to sleep, that's the last thing we do together. We talk about our day, it started when he was little, I used to tell him during his bath about the great day he had, what he had accomplished that day and all that, before he was just a little baby and probably just enjoyed hearing Mommy's voice, but now that he's older, we both actually talk about it, I ask him what was his favorite thing during this day and I go step by step naming what we did together that day).

Did I tell you how much I love you already? well it never hurts to say it one more time.

I love you my boy.

Life Lessons in the Classroom

2009-04-02T05:47:00.001-07:00

A lot of my friends and family are in the school system. Mostly teachers, here and then I help translating a paper, a note, a report card, I interpret on parent-teacher conference and things like that. (If you are reading this and need help with translating or interpreting let me know, I'd love to help you)

Yesterday, as I help in one of those conference I was with a Father of 4 children, who lost his wife (they were separated) this past January. I remember meeting with her when the first nine weeks were over, she was so strong, so potent, so driven by the future of her children and she was very clear to let her kids know if they ever had a question they needed to ask. They did not need to sit quiet in their sit just because they were afraid to say the wrong thing or not sure how to ask. Ever since I learned this lady passed away I can't forget that meeting (I don't want to forget that meeting). Seeing the father of this children, really trying to make things better for them has got me thinking. Having that puzzled look on his face while I try my best to explain to him how in 3rd grade his daughter will be graded on letters instead of number or just passing or failing. Or what the "rubric" for the next nine weeks will be. Or the word map his daughter need to filled up in order to write a story. I'm sure it really sounded foreign to him even though I was speaking Spanish to him.

But what strike me the most about this meeting was the time when we handed him the report card, so he could read the comment on the back that her teacher has written so sweetly about his daughter. It hit me then he either needed some glasses because he couldn't see the small handwriting or he actually did not know how to read. So I gave him his pen and told him where to sign his name, he asked me twice where to sign and then he said "You know, we barely made school, it's hard for me to even write my own name" I confirmed then he couldn't read the note, so I told him writing his first name was good enough and then I told him "Let me read this to you because is a really sweet note about your daughter and you will be proud". His face lighted up and so I read.

I have not been able to stop thinking about this. How hard he's trying to make the best for his children. How God's timing in all this is amazing. This man started the process to get his parents here 5 years ago, only a few months ago things went through and his parents are suppose to be here now, now that he needs them the most, now that the mother of his 4 children is gone forever, now that he's trying to take care of them, work, help them with school even though he can't read is own language.

In my own country I know people who can't read and write, they are very old but they are the sweetest God's children I know. My great aunt, which if I ever have a daughter she'd be name after, is one of them. She managed to give her 5 kids some kind of education, they all went to school. They all have their families. Their kids went to school as well but most importantly, all of them know about God because of her. Thinking of this on my way to work, I realized, she probably has never read the bible but I know she's a prayer warrior. She wakes up early in the morning and sits in her bed and prays. She goes to sleep and the last thing she does when her day is over is pray again. :)

So back to this father. How can he learn English when he can't even read Spanish?. However that's not stopping him from trying his best to give his children a better future. He asked us what he needed to do to make sure his oldest daughter is enrolled in Middle School where she's attending next year, he also asked us how could he help his little daughter do better in her writing, that was her weakest area. I mean ... nothing is stopping him from trying harder. (see what I posted before this one?)

A while back when we met with him to see how thing were going right after the mother of his children died - he said the pastor of his church offered to give his little daughter a haircut (let me tell you it looked good, that pastor knew what he was doing). Can you imagine being in 2nd grade and loosing your mom like that? (Or Kindergarten, or 4th grade or 5th grade - that is the grade where her other children are) She went to Mexico to see if she could get better (last time she did that it really helped her) and then after a couple of weeks you find out she's dead??? I CAN'T ... not at that age. When you are a child ... when you are starting to have so many questions about life, about being a girl, about everything. WOW ... I CAN NOT IMAGINE. But that's life, we loose our love ones, we are sent to foreign land to grow family, we are strike by sweet people who crosses our paths daily.

Let's never be too busy not to take the time to think about all this. To Thank God for what we have (our capabilities), what we are and who we are becoming as we grow older.

Trying harder

2009-03-31T11:15:00.001-07:00

Do you ever try to be difficult?

Apparently I don't even have to try, apparently it comes natural :(

I guess that's just part of being a woman? a mom? a wife? ... I know! that's no excuse. But I promise I try ... I pray ... I bite my lip ... I pray some more ... I try hard not to be that way and when I'm having one of those moments after a long time of things going great I feel like no one's cutting me any slack ... I mean anyone can have a bad night, right?

Yes I know this is sounding like Poor Me post ... may be it is ... another one of my pity parties ... remember, everyone is always invited :)

All I can say is I'll try harder, I'll pray harder - I can't bite my lip any harder or I'll hurt myself - can I blame it on the fact that I've never play sports??? - ... yeah I know ... nice try, right?

Isn't that why we always have tomorrow to make it better?

Hold on tomorrow ... here I come!

Anyone having those moments lately?

**UPDATE**

Ok so God said "you wanna try harder? ... I'll give you a visual so you can remember what life's all about" Matt had a wreck today, neither him nor the other driver involved were hurt but of course, this makes you think, all it takes is one second and your whole life can be thrown out the window ... yes I need to try harder!!

Saturday Sillyness

2009-03-28T21:35:00.000-07:00

As we are driving somewhere Nicolas says:

"My boogie is gone!"

Me: "What did you said?"

N: "My boogie is gone!"

Me: What happened to it? (trying to figure out what in the world is he talking about)

N: "I put it in my mouth!" followed by a big smile!

I'm laughing hard - I can't hold it - I know what he's talking about now, yeap ... it came from his nose and he ate it. As I'm laughing I'm trying to tell him that really is something we shouldn't do. I know I shouldn't laugh but I love his sense of humor.

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I'm really disappointed at the cute Sesame Street Underwear I bought last week, Nicolas loved them and so did I until I realized the size 4T looks more like a 24 months after one time going through the washer and dryer. Ugh!

Any suggestion on a good brand? one that it won't shrink that quickly and that bad?

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Boogie eater ... tight sesame street undies wearer

This is our Spring Picture (these people know how to make money by coming to your preschool take different shots at your kid and then they let you take the whole 10 sheets home and you are to return the ones you don't want ... what??? I want them all. I'm biting my fingers not to buy them all).

Pure Fun

2009-03-26T18:33:00.001-07:00

I don't normally post twice on the same day but what I'm about to share deserves its own post, at least on my eyes, the eyes of a mother filled with love, gratitude and sweetness and I don't know what else ...

Tonight Nicolas was taking his bath, like we do religiously every night, I use that word because this child can not stand not to take his bath, may be is because we let him play in the water for a while before we actually wash him, may be is because he knows he will get one on one time with Daddy ... not sure but he loves it. While he plays in the water I try to use that time to either clean the kitchen or do what's needed at the house. Tonight I was cleaning his closet, getting out all those pants, sweaters, jackets, socks, underwear, shoes and much items that are too small for him now :( While I was doing that, my sweet boy called me so I went and asked him what he needed, he said "Mommy! You wanna get in the water with me??" I didn't think about it for 2 seconds and said "sure!" He smiled really big and said "Come on Mommy! Take your PJs off and get in the water" so I did ... I realize this may be weird for many of you, since I often see pictures of Moms wearing their bathing suits in the tub with their babies - which is much weirder to me :) since there's nothing sweeter and innocent than being skin to skin with your baby! But anyways ... I understand we are from different cultures and that's ok ... point is, Nicolas was so excited when I got in the water with him, you would of thought I was ... I don't know ... someone taken from one of his favorite book or something ... he quickly gave me few of his many toys. "You play with the froggie and I play with the crab" . It was such a special time, we played, I washed him, he wanted to wash my face, never faced by the fact that I was naked and my body looks completely different than his, no question asked, this was PURE FUN!! (pure as "nothing other than fun" and pure as "PURITY")

After we were both dried and ready, we watched what seems to be his favorite show these days "Wonder Pets". In tonight's episode they were rescuing a "baby kangaroo" so the sweet voices of the wonder pets kept asking "baby kangaroo??" this or that ... "mommy kangaroo" bla bla bla ... I guess my boy liked that because pretty soon he informed me he was baby kangaroo so I played along and every time we talked (which is like non-stop while we are together ... the boy is a talker, what can I say) he would end up his phrases with Mommy Kangaroo and I did the same thing with him, "Baby Kangaroo? are you ready for your milk?" He would answered "sure Mommy kangaroo" and as tiring as it sounds while I'm typing it, I promise you it was the sweetest pretend dialogue we've had. He hugged me and told me "I love you Momma Kangaroo" He jumped like a kangaroo for me. Kissed me. Hugged me. Snuggle with me and every time he did anything he would always use my new nickname. :) Not sure if he will remember our game tomorrow, but we'll see. May be by then we'll have to change it to a different animal.

This may mean nothing to you but it meant the world to me tonight.

Nighty night from a very happy and fulfilled Momma Kangaroo!

Amazed

2009-03-26T10:38:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of this weather but after all the post I've read this morning I feel "silly" to say the least, to be complaining about something so small and insignificant like the weather. Ok I know if you are a farmer weather is not insignificant but I'm not so to me it is insignificant. I know my boy loves to play outside and may be that's why I don't like it, I also know that I can't stand the gray on a cloudy day, unless I'm in my dream log cabin, sitting beside a huge chimney, sipping on some wonderful hot chocolate, or cappuccino or who knows ... something nice and warm, but that's in my dreams, I happen to be at work, where things are slower than slow (don't take me wrong, I'm thankful I have a job) and jumping from one blog to the next I ended up at this one!

OOOH MY ... I can't begin to tell you how I got completely suck into reading this story, this beautiful painful heart lifting story, I had sobbed, I had praise God and I had prayed this morning, all while reading these virtual pages. I have dried my tears when a costumer has come in the door and I had to blow my nose before I answer the phone. I know, I look bad at this point but who cares, how this story lifted my heart, redirected my mind and kept me in check with all those pity things we complaint everyday. Although I've been doing much better lately, I mean ... my mood has been great ever since a wonderful decision was made (I'll have to post about this sometime ... later, when the right time comes) but still, you know, we all have those little things that get to us.

Please if you have time - or even if you don't, just take the time to do it - read this blog. I strongly encourage you to do it. Specially if you are a Mom.

Meanwhile I ask you to please keep praying for Stellan (click the box on my side bar to learn more about him) and just be happy! Be happy for the talents God has given you, for the gifts He has placed in your life, for the wonderful plan He has prepared for you (us) and for having today to live! May be you are having a bad day ... but sill is your day and we got to go through it, be happy for that opportunity.

In other "mommy" news, I have to share I am the proud "aunty" of a gorgeous Baby Boy, my sweet friend Heidi gave birth to him on the same day her first one was born three years ago, which has brought back so many memories, since I had the privilege to be in the delivery room with her and her husband that first time.

The miracle of life is just precious in every way. Amen for that!

My sweet friend and me, 3 days before she had her baby
That night we baked and decorated 75 cookies for her son's birthday party.

Yeay for grocery shopping

2009-03-24T19:41:00.000-07:00

Oh I'm so excited, pleased and thankful for the shopping I did tonight.
I wasn't a big fan of "Go Grocery" before, may be because the need wasn't big or because I was too picky of a buyer (if is not this brand or that brand not sure I should buy it) but now?? wow now I am a big fan. We have two in my town, one down town and the other one in the next city ... which to me they are one in the same but who cares, it's close enough. So tonight for $40.00 I bought:
3 boxes of Mac-n-Cheese
1 box of angel hair spaghetti
1 big jar of tomato sauce
2 packs of coke zero cans - one cherry - one regular zero
1 bag of salad
2 bananas
1 bag of white seedless grapes
2 already cut zucchinis
2 greeting cards
2 frozen South Beach Diet Lunches
4 stakes
2.5 lbs. ground beef
1 pack of chicken tenders
1 pack of boneless pork chops (already seasoned and wrapped individually).
2 Disney Flash Lights

IS THAT AWESOME OR WHAT????????

The best part of all this is that before I went I looked at my check book and I thought "I hope I can spend about $40.00" and my total bill was $40.68

Praise God for this!

St. Patrick's day ... I'm sorry ... what?

2009-03-17T10:47:00.000-07:00

Not sure what the big deal is with St. Patrick's day in the U.S but let me tell you it is a big deal, for the first time since I live here I'm wearing green just because I can't stand people pinching me! (I know what a grouch ... sorry I just don't like it)

My husband and I went out this past weekend to celebrate a friend's birthday and of course we ended up at the local Irish pub (probably one of the few places in town) and let me tell you it was GREEN day, green beer, people dress in green, green hats, green beads ... everything ... to me is just an excuse to party, which if that's what rock your boat, good for you ... I just don't see much point in it. I guess the same could be say by some people who doesn't get Valentine's Day or ... I don't know ... earth day ... and whatever day ... I guess that's what St. Patrick's is to me ... "whatever" day.

In Chile - as a predominant Catholic nation (not as much as it used to though) - we have a name for each day of the year, so of course today is really "San Patricio" and if your name is Patricio o Patricia you get to celebrate, nothing big, some people makes a big deal about it, others don't. My middle name - before I got married (that's good for another post, since in Chile you don't have to change your name when you are getting married, let me tell you it was hard for me) - is Patricia so today I'm celebrating, again nothing big :) is more of a saying than an actual party, if that makes sense.

Point of this post is ... I really don't understand what is there to celebrate but my son looked so cute on his St. Patrick's day Shirt I had to put it on here.

But I really would like to know what's the point, can you tell me? Do you understand the reason?

note: if you have Irish blood in you don't take this the wrong way, I'm glad you have a day to celebrate your ancestors. This has nothing to do with that.

MMMMMMMM ... MILKSHAKE!!!!!!!

2009-03-13T09:42:00.000-07:00

Oh Milkshakes, my super duper weakness! I think most of my baby weight that took me two years to get serious about loosing was from milkshakes! I love ice cream too (obviously) but a creamy, thick, delicious milkshake is the most wonderful treat for me.

I've been dreaming about one for about two or three weeks, I've been seriously fighting that desire and I had succeeded ... UNTIL TODAY!

I had my appointment with my dietitian and she asked me how these two weeks had been (I weighted this morning before I left the house and I knew I was close to my NEVER-AGAIN-BE-THAT-WEIGHT weight, which is 150 lbs. - I feel if I'm that again it wouldn't take much for it to keep getting higher) so I was very much down, pooped, defeated, not happy with my self, so I told her all this and then I said "I've been fighting a milkshake for the last 2 or 3 weeks" She gave me this serious look and she said "then go and have one, enjoy it, don't feel guilty and put that behind you and start over". I could of just left the room right then and run to the next place to get me one but since I've waited so long I could wait a few more minutes, right? She said this thought was consuming my mind - and it really has been - and sometimes you just need to do it and get it over with, because the more you fight it the more extra calories you keep sneaking in so you can "make up" for your "deep desire of that oh so wonderful delicious incomparable tasteful milkshake".

So obviously I DID!!!!!

I left her office and since it was about lunch time I got me a Taco Salad from Wendy's and when the girl asked "and what to drink with that??" I was still debating if I should order a milkshake or a floater frosty, I took my chance with the 2nd one. I was tempted to order it with Coke Zero or Diet Coke but I felt they would laugh at me on the other side so I didn't. Got my precious floater frosty and my salad and before I could even get out of the line I took that first sip ... mmmmmmmmmmmm ... I felt so relief, that didn't last long when I realized that my cup was over floating (which in poetical ways sounds so great but literally is a horrible mess) LITERALLY ... I am making a mess in my (still new to me) car, thank God for the flooring that you can just wipe everything off, I had to stop right where I was (more or less like the middle of the parking lot) put my blinkers on and had to take care of this potentially massive mess. Of course my first thoughts were GUILT "Oh Claudia, how could you be so dumb! See what happens????" but immediately after that I though "Nope, I'm going to enjoy this, who cares this is a little sticky, this is why I have these wipes in my car, they'll take care of it and we'll go on with this oh so wonderful moment" :D

It was delicious, I was done with it before I got back to work.

Y U M M Y!

PS: I ate all my salad too, now I feel like my stomach is over floating ... ha ha ha

Crazy Dreams

2009-03-12T06:41:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have them? It seems to me that I have those more frequently than I'd like because I feel like I didn't rest at all when I have them, or I should say when I remember what I dreamed about, I know we dream every night but we are not always capable of remembering them.

Anyway, last night I dream I was in a reality show, we were in a big house, the other contestants were all people that I knew in Chile, people I went to school with, my friend's brothers and sisters, cousins, you name it ... they were in it too.

The bad thing it was I was the one no one want it there, not because I was a threat for my great abilities (not sure what the main theme of the reality show was) but because I was the one who was always telling the truth and no one liked to hear it - that's my side of the story - I guess if you could ask the rest of them they would tell you they didn't like me because I was rude and whinny ... Soooo back to the important stuff ... I can remember dreams that I've had years ago, it's weird. They are in color, people talks in English and Spanish depending who they are or where we are in my dream.

Sometimes I dream things that are completely non-sense and unrealistic, like that one dream I had when the gremlins were taking over my house and sometimes I have dreams that are so real I feel disappointed when I wake up, like when I dream about being with my family in a fun get together, we are all laughing and having a good time.

Right after I had Nicolas I dreamed that I was pregnant again - that was more like a nightmare - and I had a little girl, i could see her, she had dark hair (like me), lots of hair (like me) she was wearing a pink sweet suit (I really don't like pink) and she was crawling already, in the house where I grew up ... may be it was me! ... mmmm ... well nope because Matt was chasing her in crawling form too! ha ha ha.

Nico wakes up sometimes in a panic screaming type of cry ... I guess the boy has dreams too, or nightmares, but he gets it honest, right? Matt has had some pretty interesting dreams himself. So I guess Nico gets a double dose if imaginative dreaming capacity.

Do you remember your dreams so vividly???

Awesome Days

2009-03-09T09:53:00.000-07:00

Somebody must of been praying for me because I had the best weekend! I guess that comes naturally after a big argument, after looking at yourself and admitting your mistakes and trying to work for things to get better.

Friday night was a night out with my friends, actually it was at one of my friend's house for a very special party (you girls know what I'm talking about! Great and much needed time!!).

Saturday my husband stay at home while Nico and I went out for breakfast and enjoyed the lovely weather at the park. Not only we enjoyed the swing and slide but the little pond where we threw rocks. Imagine my child wanting to take his clothes off so he could get in the water in swim. (not sure who did he learned the skinny dipping from ... certainly not from his Southamerican mother who let him walk naked at his Tita's back yard while we were down there not long ago) so I quickly had to explain that this yucky water wasn't good to swim in and also that even though it was a nice temperature it really wasn't THAT hot! This little pond has always been there but I've never paid much attention to it, not sure many people does because the park was packed and we were the only ones sitting by it, that's one of the reasons why I took him away from the playground, too many people, varieties of them, some "prissy" moms - you know, those with the perfect hair and attire, everything matches, even the outfit on their "Hollywood" style dogs. As jugdemental as that sounds, I want to explain that I was shocked to see such a prototype at our local part, you know, we live in WNC, this is where you see moms wearign sweat pants and their hair is pull back or may be "paw paw" on his overalls is swinging the kiddos, we don't see style at the park, really! It doesn't match our surroundings ... ha ha ha ... so needless to say I was a little surprised. I also saw a family (dad, mom, toddler girl and baby boy) who came to the swings, mom and dad were constantly getting at each other to see who was the closer to baby boy, "he likes to play with me better" "I have something I can give him you can't never do" back and forth - (mmmmm ... strange day at the playground I guess) - Soon after that, Dad decided to light up a cigarette on the playground (now we are talking about our regular surroundings ... ha ha ha) which even though I'm an ex-smoker I don't appreciate that. So as you can imagine the playground got more and more crowded and filled with "different" people so my son and I went away to the pond area - WAIT A MINUTE!!!! what an intolerant person I've become! - point to ponder about later - So I wasn't really surprise when Mom (the same one with the rest of the family there) was pulling out bags full of clothes out of her trunk, was she sorting them to take them to the local Goodwill??? Did they live in their car??? (I seriously doubt it, everyone was very clean), did she just did her laundry at the Laundromat and she was folding while kids were playing with dad??? I'll never know I guess but now Mom was wearing a different top than before, we went from a plain white t-shirt to a strapless black stretchy top ... mmmmm ... (I promise I paid attention to my child while we were there, all these information was registered on my brain with just one quick look).

Anyways ... it was a fun time for my son and I, certainly entertaining for both of us.

By the time we got home he was already asleep, Yeay for a good nap and YEAY for Daddy who had the house looking perfect! I took a nap too - yes even though i didn't clean I was tired and I wanted my sacred nap - I woke up to the laughter of my boy playing outside with his daddy. I went outside, play a little and then we came back inside, Dad grilled (YEAY DAD - YOU DID SO MUCH FOR US THIS WEEKEND!) while I clean the plastic pool that had spent all winter out, halfway folded in our back deck, our son didn't understand why we couldn't put water in it so he could play with the water, again IS NOT THAT HOT SON!! COME ON!! Of course I was bare footed and I got a splint on my little toe that hurt a lot, while we were trying to get the last piece out I kept repeating to myself, "Come on! you've had a child, you can stand this!" It came out finally and we were able to enjoy our supper as a family, my favorite time that is!!!

What an awesome day!!!!!!!

Sunday came with the time change, Matt and I were hurting more than Nico was with this change, may be because I stay up doing cross-stitch and Matt was watching TV until 1:30 am. We had a good Sunday too, typical, church, nap, play time, good restful evening!

A Bunch of Honesty

2009-03-06T05:48:00.000-08:00

My best friend here always prayed for Satan to stay out of her marriage - back in the day when we all had bible study together - and she was the one who had been married longer we all looked at her and giggle a little bit - little I knew what she meant back in those years.

Next month my husband and I will be married for 6 years and I feel the need to pray for this same thing now! Not that things are horrible or there are other parties involved or anything like that, but there's just so many pity things that get on my head, things that are really not important, not life threatening, stupid little things that aggravate me. Do you ever feel like this? And I Know that's what it is, I can hear his stinky little voice in my head going "Claudia? why should you be the one picking this from the floor when he's the one who left it in there?" "you work too" "you are tired too!!" and on and on it goes, I know that's not God talking to me. Few Sundays ago our Pastor said something so true - he said our worst enemy is ourselves and then Satan. I feel like I'm my worst enemy right now, how I allow my mind to get worked up and upset over a stupid apple core that's where I don't think it should be. Is that really THAT important???? Gosh noooo is not ... then why I make such a big deal over it.

I'm in need of something ... not a pill, not a cigarette (although the thought of it sound oh so good --- I haven't done that in years and certainly I don't intend to go back) but to be connected with God, to be in his word, to be on my knees and pray. If you read this and you know God, please pray for me, I want to be the loving wife that I once was (not the witch I've become lately), I want my child not to ever see me cry again but to see my smile and my playful self - that's all a 2 year old should see from his mommy - I'm not sure why I'm writing all this stuff in here - but I just felt the need to let it all out, to be honest with myself and everyone around me, because not everything is perfect, not everything is roses and honey, life is hard, marriage is hard but we are here and it's our duty to make the best out of it, you can chose what your focus in life is, mine is my husband and my son. I used to have a career (that I really didn't care for) I still have a job outside the house but that's not the main reason of my life, my reason for living are my men (my husband and my son) and living a Christian life with them. I'm far from perfect and I have a long way to go on my walk with God but we are here and we are trying, that's what counts.

This and That

2009-03-04T18:27:00.000-08:00

The day finally came!!!!!!, the day that I heard my son squirming on time to take him and sit him on the potty, so he could poop in our own bathroom at home, considering he had done it in three other houses but not ours ... well, it was about to kill me! But God gave us a full snow, which meant no school, which meant we were stuck inside, which meant I was close enough to hear him and not distracted (I was on Facebook at the time) it was a wonderful moment for both of us. A moment we spent together, seeing his face as he did it was priceless and then when he took his first look at it, his words were "Look Mommy!!! I made a SNAKE!!!" ... we shouted it in celebration, immediately we called Daddy to inform him of such an event and he was excited too! Soon after that I told Nicolas we were probably going to the store after his nap and his reaction was "yeay, so we can buy a movie!" I guess the boy remember the offer that I made a long time ago when I was begging him to use the potty at home! I guess his hard disk doesn't miss a dab of information.

********************************************

The other night we were home and I was upset (go figure that one, ME? UPSET????) so I was frantically cleaning (that's what I do when I get to that point of aggravation) and Nicolas came to me, looked at my ~~crappy~~ lovely face and said "Mommy? Are you mean???" The inside of me wanted to yell and said YES CAN'T YOU TELL??? but I just tried to forcefully change my expression and pretend I was this wonderful mom and said "No honey, Mommy is just upset". Needless to say every time I've been mad after that, he asks me the same question. Dang it I'm Mean!! what can I say, obviously I can hide it very well.

**********************************************

Our boy is not a snow child and neither is our dog. We've tried this twice and it just hasn't worked, first of all the whole process of putting snow suit, snow boots, snow gloves, big coat and hat takes us forever, not because is hard but when you have an excited two year old who is bouncing from place to place, it takes forever to get all this done. Then, we go outside and after two seconds he's crying and ready to go back inside, following him is our dog. So few days ago, Matt and I walked through our driveway and back - finding places where the snow reach just bellow our knees, it was awesome. I've officially made my first snow angel! (Can you tell I grew up in a place where we never got snow?). We took pictures and have a fun little walk, God sent our neighbor by, who was driving his big tractor and offered to clear up our driveway, if that would of not happened I'm not sure we would of been able to get out of here any time soon.

*********************************************

Tonight I'm having a pity party ... anyone wants to come? Hurry up it's almost over.

What's gonna take!

2009-02-22T18:50:00.001-08:00

How many more times do I have to clean poop????????? Don't take me wrong, I don't have a problem cleaning poop from a diaper but from the carpet?, from the couch?, from my shoes?, from the bath tub?, from my mom's back yard? This is not even counting all those times I've had to clean your underwear (I've even had to throw away one) - I'm not challenging you son, I know you are capable to poop anywhere else BUT IN THE POTTY!

What's more frustrating of all, is that I know you are capable of doing this, I've seen you do it, you've done it before, more than once, 4 or 5 times actually but never in our bathrooms - could you tell me what's wrong with our toilet sit??? It seems perfectly fine to me but oh what do I know, right?!

Let's see, we have the sit cover (with Elmo, Big Bird, Cookie Monster on it looking at you with such friendly faces), we've threaten with spankings, we've offered a movie, we've ignored the accidents, we've tried the stickers reward system (didn't worked since you wanted all the stickers at once and got upset when I tried to explain to you that you could only get it when you use the potty), we've tried to talk to you about this but nothing so far.

When I walked in the bathroom and saw you trying to stand up from the bath when you saw all those brown floating things ... grrrrrrrrrr ... let's not even talk about it anymore ... what is it gonna take for you to do this boy!!

After tonight's episode we are trying the "No TV until you poop in the potty strategy". Hopefully this one will work because if this doesn't do it, I'm not sure what else to do ... REALLY! Considering the fact that it's so convenient for you to watch a show while I cook supper or when I need a break - I can't imagine you not pooping on the potty for a whole week and NO TV! (I know, what kind of mother am I, right? Trust me!, I'm not proud that my child likes TV so much but I have to admit it is convenient for the things named above) May be God is trying to teach me something ... patience may be?
Whatever it is I hope I get it soon (meaning I pray that you get it quickly and poop on the potty!!).

I'm tired of this ~~shit~~ challenging situation. I know!!!! I know this is nothing compare to what we - as parent - will have to deal with in the future, I have family and friends who have teenagers, I know that but right now ... this is my struggle and I had to get it out of my system or it was going to drive me insane.

In the mid time if you happen to have any suggestion on how to motivate this boy to use the potty for number 2 please let me know!

So What If

2009-02-20T19:38:00.000-08:00

(before you start reading this I have to let you know this talks about something very personal in a woman - my period - so if you are grossed out by the subject, well just close this window and go somewhere else :D)

Normally I am like a clock (of course that has nothing to do with me, it's all thanks to my birth control) I know exactly what day it's coming, so when this present month it came 5 days later, I literally freak out! I know! I know! I shouldn't, I'm on the pill, right? Well you know, we all know the friend of a friend who got pregnant - even though she was on the pill - we've also heard the stories of women who decided to change their birth control and then something happened and boom! next thing you know ... they are pregnant - so all these stories were crumbling on my head, but quickly I went back to "in control mode" and I told myself the next day would be the day and everything would be fine. The days passed and passed (it felt more like weeks) and I started to wonder what if. Oh my!! the thoughts that went through my head and the speed!! I didn't know I was capable of such but I guess our mind is so powerful that when we get to this stage we completely loose it.

"But what if I'm pregnant??" ... "what am I gonna do??" ... "we can't afford 2 on daycare ... I would have to stay home ~~send me straight to the mental institution~~ I think I would have to do it, God wouldn't send me anything I can't handle", I know that in my heart, I know!! but my rational side kept reminding me how impatient I am with just one cute funny sweet toddler boy. How could I do this with my ~~almost perfect~~ toddler and a BABY!!!!!
"Oh Noooo ... this can't be happening" ... "Matt and I have finally came to peace about being fine with just the 3 of us"

So this is how I spent the last 5 days of my life. I started telling some close friends - thinking that because I was sharing it wouldn't come true (not sure where that came from but that was my reasoning, I told you I lost it!) - and another day went by and I had finally decided to buy a pregnancy test. One of my best friends suggested to buy the cheap one from the Dollar store, I thought "Uhm ... nope ... I have to buy the expensive one since I need to be really sure!" then as I was driving from work straight to the super store to buy one I called Matt. He told me I was panicking, my period was going to come. He said "if by next week it hasn't come then buy the test" my answer was "ARE YOU CRAZY???????? I CAN'T WAIT 'TIL NEXT WEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!" so he quickly knew my hormones were kicking and he said "well honey is your body, your pee, do what you feel is best!" I love the simplicity of my husband! He also suggested to buy the "cheepo" test, he said that way if it comes, at least you just wasted a buck. (yes he's frugal too) so I listened to him and I went to the Dollar Store, looked around for more items, I felt weird just buying that, it was pretty obvious what I was going through, I walked around trying to find something else to buy but I didn't and as I was in line waiting to pay for the test that was going to give me the answer I was searching for, my body did it instead! Haaaaaaa ... what a relief! I bought the test anyway - who knows if I have another one of these panic moments - at least the $1.00 wasn't wasted, right?

After that, as I'm driving to some of my favorite stores (Old Navy & Target) I texted my friend to let them know "it has come" and they were happy for me and I was even happier, I felt so light, so relief, so free!! I had the best time shopping by myself for 2 hours, great deals (something good that comes from a bad economy is that everyone is having ridiculous sales). Came home to my cute, funny, sweet toddler boy and my understanding sweet husband, had a wonderful Chick-Fil-a Meal, Nicolas was oh so happy that Mommy was home and boy was I glad to be home, with just the 3 of us!!!!

One good thing came out of all this, Matt & I had a great talked that night, after our little one was asleep, we talked about the whole thing and we feel that we could have one more child, right now is just not the time -

unless God feels different and next month I'll be blogging about my unplanned pregnancy - ~~crap~~

- anyway ... there you have it.

note: I just want to clarify I admire women who stay at home and take care of their families 24/7. I just don't feel like I'm that type of woman - may be I'm still too selfish and immature, who knows! certainly not me.

Oh What A Night!

2009-02-13T08:39:00.000-08:00

So everything was going smoothly, I went and volunteered yesterday at Nico's preschool to help with their little Valentine's Party, it was fun and I love being an active part on his little things :D Came back to work, went back to pick him up, went to the grocery store, no accidents (pee), no complaining, just one perfect evening (I should of know then).

We get home and I take my keys off the ignition - like I always do - and put them in the little compartment to the right of the steering wheel, I get out, go the back of the car to open it so Matt can come and get things out for me while I get Nico out of the car BUT TO MY SURPRISED IT WAS LOCKED!

Up until this point I'm still thinking is just the back of the car that's locked (naive I know!) so I go back to the front to get the keys to open the back when I realized that THAT DOOR IS LOCKED TOO and since I'm much of an optimistic I go and check the passenger door to see if may be, just may be, that one could be open as I'm hoping for God to touch my car and just by His endless power unlocked it ... needless to say He didn't do it on my timing :D

SOOOOO THE CAR IS LOCKED, MY CHILD IS IN IT, BUCKLED IN HIS CAR SEAT ...

I ran up the stairs to see if we had another key or an opener (not sure why I asked this when I knew the answer for that but again I'm an optimistic so I thought may be somehow or another we could of gotten one and I just didn't know it), of course the answer is NO. Quickly I call my pastor to get a number from the guy we go to church with who does this kind of stuff, you know! (I don't know the name for that) So he can't find the phone book at his son's house, I was hoping that he would have on it on his cell phone but yet another NO answer, so as I'm talking to him on the phone I reach for my phone book and get the number, call the man, who just happened to be close to my house (I live on top of a mountain so I knew now God was answering my prayer) so he was here after a few minutes THAT FELT LIKE HOURS since our son is quicly loosing his patience, screaming from the top of his longs

"MOOOOOOMMYYYYYYYYYYY GET ME OOOUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!"
My answer was in a very forced calm voice
"Nicolas, I need you to please calm down and listen"

Nico - "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ... GET ME OOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!"

Me - "Son, I know you are frustrated but this was an accident ... the keys are in the car and the doors are locked ... see???" as I show him that even though I'm opening the door is just not opening. I can't finish saying what I'm saying and I keep hearing the screaming.

I realized there's no way to make him understand so I keep praying, Matt keeps trying to show him that all he has to do is push the red button on his car seat and pull the locked on the car but of course our two year old is so frustrated he can't see straight.

More time goes by (probably 2 seconds) that feels like more hours and I stand up again to try to talk to him and I say:

"Nicolas? look, mommy and daddy are with you, we are in the house and everything is fine, there is nothing we can do right now but wait, ok?"

At this point he is not screaming but he is spitting - that's his thing when he is really mad and I always get on him for doing that - so he tells me:
"Look Mommy, I'm spitting"
I said "I know son ..." so I guess at that point he realized something was different since I didn't get on him for spitting, so he decided to kicked his shoes off, pull his socks and I was afraid he was going to pee in the car (or even worse #2) but he didn't then - he did it later on the couch - I'm telling you it was a great night :D

Finally David (the man from church) came and in a matter of seconds, got the door unlocked and Nicolas shouted "YEAY HE DID IT" So did we!

The night went on, we unloaded the groceries, I fixed the Angus stake burger I've been craving for weeks and right before we were getting ready to eat I asked Matt to make Nicolas pee so he wouldn't have an accident while we ate. So he did, he brought the little bucket from the potty, pull his pants down and told him he needed to pee. As I'm standing in the kitchen I start hearing this hard breathing that sounds Oh so familiar - it sounded like when Nicolas is working on a poop - WHAT? IS HE POOPING?? So I asked Matt ... are you sure he's not pooping???

Matt answers - "well I surely hope not because of the bucket is in front of him-OH-MY-GOD-HE-DID!!!!!!!!"

Another crisis moments, this one much easier to solve, leave everything in the kitchen, Matt takes Nicolas into the bathroom ... I grab the poop with a Kleenex and some minor cleaning is done (the poop was hard ... sorry to be so graphic but I don't want you to think we are that nasty) and after that WE CAN FINALLY SIT DOWN AND EAT OUR SUPPER.

Haaaaa ... what a night but just like the Imagination Movers say "Another Idea Emergency Solved"

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

2009-02-10T11:16:00.001-08:00

First of all I want to tell you I have so much in my mind I'm not sure this post will make much sense but I'm going to attempt to share my memories of this trip with you.

I definitely feel God gave me this trip, on December 30th my husband decided to go on the internet and look for prices on tickets to Chile, for our surprise, tickets had gone down a little bit (the last time I look they were $2,000 per ticket so I knew there was no way I was going to visit any family any time soon). I didn't pay much attention when Matt told me, I just kept doing whatever I was doing in the kitchen and moved on. Bath time came and while I was there, Matt thought about the miles he had earned for years and years and he "played" with that and realized if we "cash" all his miles we could go for nearly nothing. So he proposed this brilliant unselfish completely loving idea and I got excited, my wheels starter turning and I thought ... hey! why not! So next thing I know I'm checking at work to see if I can take a couple of weeks off and just like that, my wonderful husband purchased the tickets and in 3 weeks I was going to be taking a plane to see my family in the great company of my little boy!

I had always dream of going to Chile and not tell a soul and surprise everyone but I never thought I had the ~~balls~~ character to do it but somehow or another I managed to keep my mouth shut and didn't say a word - except my uncle who was going to pick me up and a friend who lives in China that was going to Chile at the same time, I mean what are the chances for both of us to be arriving to our home country on the same day just for an hour of difference!!!! So I felt like I had to tell him.

So the day came and without much preparation (other than throwing a bunch of summer clothes in our suitcase) we left to go to Atlanta and take that wonderful flight that would, once again, take me to the place that I used to call home!

The first funny thing at the airport was people's faces at our gate when I arrive with one lovely 2 year old beside me, you could see their minds going quickly at the worse scenario possible during this night time flight, I guess they thought "Man a child on my flight! ... boy am I lucky or what?" Needless to say he was the only child so if he cried it was obvious that was him :D but they didn't count with the marvelous character of my child and the little help of Benadryl so we had a very pleasant flight.

As we arrive my uncle and his wife were waiting on us, I cried of course like I always do when I arrive there, and inmediately got in the car to drive for about 5 hours to get to my hometown. I have to give it to my wonderful child who had to be in a car for 3 hours from our hometown to Atlanta, 9 1/2 hours on a flight and then 5 more hours in a car to finally get to our destination! I don't think people realized the effort that means for a 2 year old (and his mother) to travel all these hours to get there, if they only knew what it takes, they probably wouldn't asked so much from us when we go. (This has to do with the Ugly of this trip that I'll mention later on this post).

Oh the faces I saw and the excitement I felt any time we were surprising people, it was indescribable, some people thought I had gotten divorce and that's why I decided to show up without telling a soul! ha! ... I guess as we grow older we loose the capability of enjoying a surprise for what it is and we have to make it rational somehow. :(

The whole point of surprising people was for me to have a calm, relaxed, enjoyable time. Until this trip, every time I visit I announce it to the world so of course each one of my family members and friends wanted to spend time with us and I found myself juggling an agenda so I can fit everyone in it and of course by the time the trip was over I was more tired than I was before I left, stressed, feeling guilty because I neglected my mom for spending time with other people, etc - Do I need to explain more? - so this time I said "Forget the rest" I owe myself a trip like this, one that I can enjoy every second of it without being interrupted by phone calls and people knocking at our door so we can sit down and talk - What? wait a minute, that's what you did before you had a child, now it's hard to find time to have a conversation ... nevertheless sit down for one ... when you have a little one who wants to share with you every thought of his and invite you to "fun" places to play with him - sorry no time sitting down and talking on this trip, only playtime!

So I did everything I wanted to do (well ... everything my son allowed for us to do, not that I let him run my life but in a way when you are a mother your schedule and all your activities are dictated - more or less - by the mood of your child, I don't take him shopping or to places where I know it will be a nightmare for both of us) so in my mind I had great plans of visiting my aunt who lives in the country and has plenty of room outside for my little one to get nasty and play nonstop with cousins he doesn't get to see but once a year (if that). I knew my cousins live close by my mom's house so we would be getting together for playdates and things like that and thank to the good Lord my dream came to a reality and that's all we did. play and have fun.

I was able to enjoy the wonders of my family's great cooking, the refreshing taste of those Chilean drinks that I love, the rewarding sound of a big laugh and the joyous tears that we shed every time we saw someone that we love and miss! Oh the wonders of family love! For those of you who have your family close by, imagine for a second to be in a complete different continent (yes North and South America are different continents on my book) and being able to see them just once in a blue moon, do you know the joy that it is to be with them again? The blessing that it is to be able to spend a birthday celebration with your cousin or be part of a surprise party for your great aunt who's turning who knows how many years!!!!!! No words can describe these wonderful feelings!

The Bad? well that no matter how long you go you always wish you had more time.

The Ugly? people's feelings getting hurt by my choice of not calling them while I was down there. I understand that as a first reaction but I don't understand the long big drama some people is making of it 'til this day, but I won't let them opaque my joy and thankfulness for a blessed wonderful fun time with my son and my family.

I'M BACK!

2009-02-08T19:05:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note to say I AM BACK!

I was in my home country for two weeks, it was a surprise trip so there is a lot to share but right now I'm exhausted and I just wanted to touch base and say I'm here ... I'll start sharing all the juicy details soon and very soon!

One thing is for sure, this has been the best trip of oh so many, this is the first one I was able to relax fully, rest and have fun with mostly family (very few friends by choice so I could rest).

Thanks to prayers, understanding friends, a great therapist and a right frame of mind this trip was just like I dream for it to be :D

Tales from the Potty

2009-01-21T07:26:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to walk-jog on our treadmill at nights, I feel is the only time I have left to do it, after Nico is down for the day, I grab my iPod (love it each day more and more) and go downstairs.

I was getting ready for that the other night, put my warm sweat pants on, found my shoes in the living room and was getting ready to put them on when I felt something inside my right shoe.

"I wonder what is this" as I'm feeling it with my foot.

"Feels like a ball. Well, Nico and I played with play dough today so may be is from that"

Or May Be Not ... as I get my shoe off and I find a perfectly round BROWN BALL ...

...

That's right - IT IS POOP IN MY SHOE! OH ~~shit~~ POOP!!!!!

How did THIS got into my shoe?????

The more I think about it the more I believe it happen when he did it on his underwear (as he has been doing it every night since we started our potty training process) it must of felt in between his legs and it just felt inside my shoe - that was strategically place by the couch - or may be - just may be - he saw it, grab it and put it inside my show.

Either way, what are the chances ...

Needless to say I'm needing some help in the poop part of the potty training experience.

Any suggestions?

I've been tagged again.

2009-01-15T06:34:00.001-08:00

This comes from Amy :)
You are supposed to go to your 4th folder of pictures and get the 4th picture.
For me that was a little more complicated, in my mac I have folders inside folders and folders of folders ... ha ha ha.
So I went and looked, my folders were
1980 - I'm sure this is from those pictures that have the date mess up or something. I can assure you I don't have pictures from 1980 in here.
2003
2004
2005 - then there is more folders inside of here Jan. Feb. Mar. Apr. so I went to the fourth picture in April - I know - I kinda cheated but oh well :)

And here's the result

I remember this like it was yesterday, we were at Ruby Tuesdays waiting for a table and the person who took this picture is my cousin from Chile, who was doing an exchange program in Chicago and she came to visit. I remember her visit couldn't come at a better timing, I was homesick and I needed someone to bring a little bit of home and it just happen she came. Great Memories.

I'm supposed to tag four people ... not sure who really reads this so I'm not going to tag anyone, if you come across this and you think is fun to do ... go ahead and do it - of course I'd ask you to please let me know :D

Those Fun Times Together

2009-01-14T07:58:00.000-08:00

Last night was a great one! After I pick up my son from daycare we lay on the couch together while he drank some milk then we sat on the floor and played. We even had "supper" (Peanut butter sandwich) sitting on the kitchen floor while playing with playdough, making a Phone for each one of us so we could talk to each other, we also made a microphone so we could sing together, we made a banana so we pretended to be monkey eating our bananas and of course we made a ball. In the midst of all this I manage to put a load in the dryer and one in the washer and then I went to church for our new bible study.

Nights like those made me want to never cook again or do nothing at home but play with my son, who's growing so quickly, I feel that before I can see it happen I'll say something like "hey you want to watch this movie together?" and I would say something like "Uhm ... nope ... thanks Mom, I already have plans for tonight" ... ~~WHAT! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAID, YOU MADE PLANS WITHOUT CONSULTING WITH ME???~~ "sure son, I understand, may be next time".

At the same time I know, life is about balance, I can't be a child again and roll on the floor all evening with my son, I also need to be a good mom and fix something to eat, provide a decent house, clean clothes and all those boring duties that take time from playing with my boy! I just need to enjoy the times that I have - like last night - and treasure them forever!!!!

C

2009-01-13T07:39:00.000-08:00

I got this from my friend Amy.
You are suppose to write 10 things you like that start with a certain letter. My letter is C. So here we go:

1. Chile - of course, my native country, the place that watch me grow, where great part of my fondest memories took place.
"C H I ... Chiiiiii, L E ... leeeeee ... CHI CHI CHI .. LE LE LE ... VIVA CHILE!!!!!!

2. Car - not any car by My New Car. I absolutely love it, love the price, the monthly payments are exactly what I had in mind ... everything about my new car is perfect.

3. Cheese - I love a good piece of cheese (not those slices of American Process Cheese that looks and taste like plastic, I'm talking about the real thing here!), a chunk if I may say with a glass of good room temperature Chilean red wine! Mmm mmm mmm.

4. Chocolate - do I really need to explain this one?? ... uhm ... didn't think so.

5. Caesar Salad - probably the most fatty kind of salads but yet so tasty.

6. Coke Zero - growing up I didn't drink any sodas, except at special occasions, at my house there was never a carbonated drink, always juice (in the summer time we even enjoyed home made juices made from fresh fruits), milk or water. When I grew up I did enjoy certain carbonated drinks like Fanta or other kinds like that, never a cola drink, I didn't like them at all, but now I feel addicted to Coke Zero - not in a bad way though, is not like if I don't drink one I'll start shaking or anything like that but if there's an option on what to drink, my choice will always be Coke Zero! Now add cherry flavor to that and ... wow ... even better!

7. "Can We Talk" - is the name of our new bible study and I'm very excited about it, I'm looking forward to do this study and the fun conversation that will come out of it.

8. Conversations - Yes! I love to have good conversations with friends. I'm not very good at talking to people I don't know, may be that's why I ask so many question to the people I just met, so I can become familiar with them. Once your door is open I'm ready to talk - no limitations, but don't worry I'm a good listener too (I like to believe anyway) so is a reciprocal thing.

9. Cards - I love writing cards and receiving cards but there's just one detail, I like the cards where there's actually handwriting in it, more then just "love ... so and so". I like to see the time and dedication put on a card, the words of encouragement or celebration or any message that is meant to be sent through the card. It doesn't have to be a lot (I know we are all busy!) but just a few words more than the signature or the name at the bottom of it.

10. Creativity - One of my favorite things. I love creative people, people who's not afraid of being different, people who actually use their minds to create things, it doesn't have to be anything spectacular, it can be a paragraph, a drawing, a conversation, a thought, anything that comes out as a result of your creativity. That's why I love to listen my 2 year old on this great conversations where he sees "alligators" or great big jungle animals looking at us and we create a story as we speak.

Well, it seems I completed my task.

What's your letter?

Conversations with a 2 year old.

2009-01-09T07:40:00.000-08:00

Mommy: Nicolas, don't you think it'll be a good idea if Daddy watches the news now, since you've already watch the show you wanted to watch? We can share the TV.

Nico - Ok

After Matt watched a little bit of the news from Good Morning America, he leaves to go to work and Nico says:

"Mommy ... uhm ... I want to watch MY news now"

Me - and what are those?

Nico - Imagination Movers!!!!!! :D

On our way to daycare (yes I took him today too but today was by choice, much nicer and fun and relax ... great start. I felt I needed to have a good moment with him so I'd forget yesterday)

N. - MOMMYYYY WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY SHOE???
Me - What's wrong with your shoe (If I only knew)??? Does it hurt??? are you ok???
N. - Mommy take it off!!!!!!!!
Me - Ok (as I stretch my arm back like the mom from The Incredibles)
N. - MOMMYYYYYY ... PUT IT BACK ON!
Me - ~~forget it~~ I'll fix it when we get to school.

Further more down the mountain.

N.- Mommy ... uhm ... I don't feel good.
Me - really?? (you seem perfectly fine to me) what's wrong??
N.- "I think I need some gummies"
Me - (smart boy!) ha ha ha ... you are ok, we'll save those gummies for later, when I pick you up from school, ok?
N.- Ok Mommy.

I think all stages in our lives are wonderful, they all have good and bad, but it seems there are some stages that seem more enjoyable - all together -
With my son, this is one of them, yes he can get on my nerves and irritate me but at the same time, being able to enjoy a conversation with him ... it's priceless!!!!!

Son, I hope you always want to talk to me - I know when you are a teenager your gonna think I'm a dork who knows nothing about life, but hopefully when you are pass that stage, you will feel comfortable to come to me and share good conversations with me.

ONE OF THOSE MORNINGS.

2009-01-08T08:04:00.000-08:00

This morning was one of those ~~crazy~~ lovely mornings! We overslept and I had to take my son to daycare, normally Matt does it but since we were late and my job is much closer than him, it was just the obvious thing to do. When Matt is out of town I have to do this everyday but I haven't done it in a while and I forgot how it was to try to get ready with a 2 year old following you around.

I'm trying to hurry, yes trying! not succeeding at all.
Me - walking around, trying to find my rings and glasses.
Nico - "Mommy, I want to sit on the potty"
Me - (What??? you never want to use the potty when I ask you to, does it have to be right now) Sure Son!
Nico - not even a second on the potty "Ok I'm done Mommy"
Me - (... are you serious??) Ok let's get your diaper on!
we lay on the floor to put his new clean diaper on - the other one that I had put on 30 minutes ago was full already, no wonder you didn't pee son!! -
Nico - "Mommy, I want my fireman hat"
Me - "Son! if you want something just go get it, Mommy is trying to get ready and we are very late! Ok??"
Nico - "Ok, Mommy"
Nico - "Mommy, I want my fireman hat"
Me - (Did we not just have this talk already?)
...
minutes keep going faster and faster and we are still home.

I'm trying to put some kind of make up on, you know just enough to hide the big bags under my eyes.

Nico - "Mommy, I want my paint brush" (also known us the brush to put my eye shadow)
Me - ~~leave me alone, would you??~~ Sure! Here you go!
Nico - "look Mommy, I'm painting a picture of my friends from school!!"
Me - Oh wonderful son, who's in your picture?
Nico - "uhm, miss Melinda, miss Whitney ... " as he drops the brush who knows where
Nico - "Oh Mommy I lost my brush"
Me - it's ok son
Nico - Noooo Mommyyyyy ... I LOST MY BRUSH!
Me - baby, it's ok ... we are getting ready to leave anyway, we'll get it later.
Nico - as he decides to lay on the floor and have a meltdown
Me - (Can I lay on the floor with you and we can have a melt down together?)
Me - Son, Come ON! GET UP ... WE GOTTA GO. WE ARE LATE!!

We finally make it towards the door ...

Nico - "Mommy, I want my men!" (also knows as two figurines, one is a cowboy .. the other one is a fireman)
Me - going through the kitchen, trying to get the healthy snacks for the day, and a cup of juice for Nicolas and a bag of gummies for when I pick him up from daycare today. Somehow I remember where "the men" were ... "here son! let's go"
Nico - "Ok Mommy ... yeay we are going to school ... hold my hand mommy!"

...

as we get in the car
Nico - "Mommy I want my jacket off" "Mommy I want my men" "Mommy ... "
Me - (~~if you say Mommy one more time I'm not sure what I'm gonna do~~) ok son, let's get your jacket off, here are your men!

We are finally on our way to school, AMEN!

We pass my in-laws house on our way.

Nico - "bye Nana!"
Me - silence
Nico - "Bye Nanaaa!"
Me - Silence
Nico - "MOMMY!! SAY BYE NANA"
Me - "BYE NANA" (wait, did I just yelled??)

We get to school.

Nico - "MOMMY HOLD ME!!"
Me - (Oh no it's gonna be another meltdown again) Ok I hold you.
Nico - "run mommy!"
Me - (son if you only knew how heavy you are and how your mom is out of shape to be running with you in her arms on this hill) "Ok let's run!"
I'm barely picking up my feet and in the back of my mind I'm thinking "I probably look like a total dork!" .

We make it to his room, total meltdown follow ... finally he gets himself together and goes to his teacher that is holding him as he is not sure he wants to stay with her.
I say bye, I love you son, have a good day.

I walk out the door and is finally time for my meltdown, I get in my car and I cry! Get a tissue dry my tears so my poorly put on make up doesn't vanish and I drive to work.

...
...
...

and like my husband would say "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD???"

HA HA HA

That's life for ya! I'm sure you've had plenty of these kinds of mornings, right?

2009

2009-01-05T09:10:00.000-08:00

What do I want from this year?

I want to be a good wife and mother - understanding, patient, loving.

I want to enjoy the little things more - not worrying about things I can't control but enjoy the good moments with my family and friends.

I want to loose more weight, about 5 to 10 lbs. would be perfect.

I want to yell less and laugh more.

I want to have the certainty of having or not having another child.

I want to grow in my relationship with God.

I want to have a relaxed vacation with my husband and son like we did last year.

I want to make great memories with my men and keep records of them too.

Ok I better stop now and not get too excited about what I want and then be frustrated at the end of the year ... :)

What would YOU like from this new year?

Looking back at Christmas

2008-12-27T19:09:00.000-08:00

So it's finally over, the madness, the rush, the traveling for some (not for me), the anticipation and the stress of the "most wonderful time of the year". If I look back there are certain moments that will stuck in my mind, hopefully forever. The most precious one was at church, on Christmas Eve our tradition is to go to the candle light service, that night there is no nursery - this is the only time of the year that all children are in the service - so I went prepare with snacks, toys, and all kinds of "entertainers" in my bag. (Nicolas was so cute, wearing his dress up outfit and Santa hat). There is this song that it's presented every year on this service, "Mary did you know?" not sure if you've ever heard it but I love that song, and it always makes me tear up (I know, what a mush). So there goes our Pastor with the first like "Mary did you know? that your baby boy will one day walk on water?" and there are my tears, there I am in church, sitting between my men and wondering what would my son do with his life, that always makes me tear up even more, imagining the things he will accomplished in his future, but the most wonderful moment was when Nicolas was leaning on my arms and I was holding Matt's hand and we were singing a caroling and my mind was thinking, what else could I ask for? Yeah, it's true that I would of like to have more family from Chile with me but in all reality this is the best moment, I'm relaxed, I'm happy, I'm fulfilled, I'm with my husband and my son at church celebrating the birth of Jesus, there's no place a rather be right at this second! I know this sounds cheesy and may be silly but words make no judgment to the overall good feeling!!!!!!!!

My second favorite time was when Nicolas was in the midst of opening his presents and as I was getting a toy out of the box, he looked around, lifted his arms right up in the air and said "Merry Christmas Everyone!" and we all said "Awwwwwwwww" it was just darling!

My third favorite time this Christmas was not on Christmas Eve, nor Christmas Day but the day after that. Matt & I finally got ourselves together to go look for a car, neither one of us was excited about going through the hassle and "crap" that all car salesman puts you through, so we decided to just go and look around, see what's out there and make up our minds (really just my mind, the car was for me and I was the one who needed to decide what I wanted). I've always loved the Honda Element and Honda CR-V but I thought there was no way I could afford either one of them to stay in our budget (I didn't want to have big car payments either) so anyway, we went to one place, not many models on the used lot that got my attention, just a couple but nothing fascinating (I'm this way when I shop, unless something really gets my attention and I really love it I don't feel I should buy it) so Matt suggested we went to this other place right down the street so we did and there it was, The Honda Element, 2007, one previous owner and when we asked the price, I thought "don't get excited it's probably going to be too expensive" and when he says the price, I wanted to jump high in the sky and scream of excitement. I test drove it, I wanted to run back to the car dealership and said here, take this money and let me take it home and let's be done with it". I loved it and well, we did it. We bought it and I am officially in debt now but what a great cause, right?

What have you done?

2008-12-19T07:55:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I was talking to a friend and she told me her nephew was diagnosed with either Leukemia or Lymphoma, they weren't sure yet. That made me thought about all the children I've hear of being sick (I'm not talking about a cold or anything simple, I'm talking Cancer, Illness ... horrible stuff), how great things are in our lives and how we take them for granted.

Today I turned my cell phone on and I realized I had a message, it was another friend of mine asking me to pray for a little girl who is in the NICU, she's not doing good at all.

Last week a little girl from our local elementary school died after a long fight of cancer.

I know this is the cheerful season, right? Well, I'm not trying to be negative, I'm just trying to put things in perspective and wondering how often do I complaint about things, how often I'm not satisfied because things didn't go my way. WOW how dumb that makes me feel. How ungrateful ... one of my favorite Christmas songs is the one John Lennon sings "So this is Christmas, and what have you done? another year over ..."

Well let's see:
* I've made new friends this year, wonderful girls!
* I got my act together and decided it was time to get serious about going back to my "pre-baby" weight, so I joined a program and I've made my goal and may be in January I'll work on dropping a few more, you know, nothing ever stays on the same place after you gain 50 lbs. (or more??!!) with your pregnancy.
* I've worked with a group of friends and doing certain projects to help our community, which has felt GREAT. I wish I was loaded with money so each week we could do more and more! :D
* I had my first long week vacation at the beach after years of not doing it, it was awesome. Our little boy still talks about it. :D We went with another family who are really good friends of ours. It was so much fun.
* I took a trip with friends, for 2 days, without my husband and without my child. FIRST TIME ever being away from both of them and let me tell you IT WAS FUN. It was so nice to be away without worrying about what I need to do when I get home or wondering how Nicolas is doing or anything. Just having fun. Thanks to good friends and my wonderful husband who's an awesome Dad!!
* I didn't see any of my family (from Chile) this year and that's kind of sad but I know I'll see my Mom (Lord willing) next Spring.
* I've decided to not worry about the pressure of having another child, if we do it'll be later (when Nico is in kindergarten ... may be) so that makes me feel much better.

I'm sure I've done much more this year but these are the things that are fresh on my mind and the things that make me happy right now. I'm thankful of all the blessings God pours on me everyday of my life, friends, family, health, job, having way more than I need.

Hopefully when I'm having a bad moment I can come back in here, read it all over again, get my act together and stop complaining about "This" or "That".

What about you? How often do you complaint? What have you done?

1st post ~ randomness

2008-12-17T09:06:00.001-08:00

I've been blogging for the past 3 years or so and today is the first time I do it in my "English" version, so needless to say I'm excited because I've wanted to do this for a long time but I just haven't taken the time to do it.

As this is my first post I'd like to take this opportunity to clarify and excuse myself if my grammar is not proper or you see some other errors of that type, you see? I learned this language by hearing it so I have no clue about grammar rules - which I'm not sure many Americans do either, ha ha ha - Having that clarified here I go.

So many random thoughts in my head this morning, so here are a few:

1.- Christmas will be here in a few days and I really don't feel it coming. I do have my Christmas tree up, I took my son to get his picture made with Santa, I've bought all the stuff to bake my cookies this weekend, I've ordered the food for Christmas eve (which will be at our house again this year!), I'm almost done with my shopping (3 more gift cards and I'm done baby!), so ... what's missing?? Why am I not feeling it?? I even lead a bible study on the Purpose of Christmas, is it because we are too worried about the economy and what not? Is it because I haven't done my daily devotions lately? Is it because I keep thinking in all those families who have a dad that has lost his job and they are not sure what kind of Christmas they will have this year? Am I so wrapped up in these commercial society I live in that I haven't allowed myself to feel the spirit??? Who knows!

2.- I've turned 31 a few days ago and I'm excited about that (May be the excitement of my birthday has taken off the spirit of Christmas!). I'm excited that I finally feel like an adult - took me a while didn't it? - not that I feel old or anything like that, I just feel comfortable with myself and that's a great feeling.

3.- My son is growing so so so so fast, it's almost sad to see. Don't take me wrong, I love to see him grow up and do, say, express new things but at the same time I see little babies and I wonder "where's my baby???". I mean, he will always be my baby right, but I can't hold him anymore, I still pick him up but only last a few minutes and it's over :( On my birthday I explain to him what day it was and I asked him if he could sing to me, so he did and after he was done (after I kissed him all over to the point of uncomfortableness ... I think?!) he said "Look Mommy! over here -pointing at the wall- I see your birthday cake, Let's Eat It!" as he lean close to the wall and pretended to eat "My delicious cake" so of course I did too. I love him, I love his imagination, I hope and pray he keeps it for the rest of his life.

Well, it's time for lunch.

Gotta go.