Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Jon and Kate plus 8

Do you ever watch Jon & Kate plus 8?? I started watching it not long ago, I didn't realized how little TV I was watching - which is OK - until I hear all my friends talking about this and that reality show. (Sorry ... I just watched 24 and Lost and when I could remember I watched "Brothers & Sisters"). Anyway, so I started watching this a few months ago when they had a marathon on a Sunday, so after lunch that day I watched tons of episodes and felt in love with those precious children and it was an inspiration to me to see a couple make it with 8 children, surely Matt & I can do it with one (or may be two ... don't worry I'm not pregnant but let's just say we are not preventing it ...)

If you have look at the cover of magazines lately you surely know about him apparently cheating on her and how she is going crazy over fame, looks, money and what not ... or so that's what those non serious magazines say. Who knows! Only they know what's true! (We only know the truth about ourselves, even when we pretend we don't)

After watching last night's episode I was sad, sad to see a family crumble ... sad to hear one of those sweet little girls tell her Daddy how she misses him and she doesn't want him to ever go away again, doesn't this break your heart??? and let's just be honest, we don't even know this family, we just watch them on TV, we don't know their feelings, their struggles, their pain, we only see what TLC wants us to see! Can you imagine what this does to that Dad when he heard her say that??? Wow, I can't imagine the painful days they are going through. Hearing a couple say they are in something just because of the kids ... OUCH! Serious trouble ahead, big mistake we all make pretty often, we put kids before marriage WRONG THING TO DO!

How ironic is that reality TV is so not real. May be this show was pretty real at the beginning (I did not watch it then) but for what I could read on her blog today a lot of fans wrote comments saying how much she has changed, how their lives went from normal to celebrity style.

How much are we willing to risk for extra money?? How much are we willing to sacrifice so we can "give our kids what they deserve"?? What a twisted world we live in, do we really know what our kids deserve???? They deserve love, a good education and a healthy life. That's it, kids are happy playing with boxes and simple things, kids are happy being free. Yes they get excited to see fancy stuff, getting to meet movie characters and things but that doesn't last ... at the end of the day what matters the most is that hug you got from your mom and dad, what matters is to feel loved and accepted by those around you - and when you are a child those around you are just your family. (Just like I hope I never forget what I saw when I walked by the living room and I heard Nicolas as he's jumping on the couch saying "I love mommy and daddy ... I love mommy and daddy" with a singing tone. What an awesome feeling that was ... )

I'm not pointing finger, I don't have two sets of multiples, I didn't agree to have cameras on me 24/7, I didn't agree to have to travel around the country to sign up books or give interviews ... I'm not Kate, my husband is not Jon ... I'm not in their shoes. What do we know!!!

All I know is that this family is in trouble, they are breaking, this couple is going on different directions ... how many times do we feel that way with our spouse? Do you feel disconnected sometimes? I could pretty much guess that we have all felt that way, how thankful I am we don't have cameras on us 24/7, photographers following every where we go, yes they agreed to live a life like this, I understand but there's a limit on how much a family can put up with. I pray they decide to live their lives for them and not for the public, the fans, the money they are making or whatever it is driving their every move at this point in time.

Yes she treats him bad, disrespectfully but by Gohly he puts up with it!!!
What's wrong with this picture!!!!

I'm thankful for my ordinary life, I'm thankful I don't have many children (that's just not something I think I could handle but who knows, God may surprise me along the way too), I'm thankful my husband doesn't put up with me when I adopt a "Kate attitude", He quickly reminds me on how important is to keep respect in line! I know I have prayed many times to respect my husband, to get ride of those feelings that we hormonal-emotional-inpatient-women have toward our husbands and each time I pray God gives me what I need :)

Marriage is not easy ... can you imagine adding 8 children and cameras to that???? phew

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Runnin' Thin

Do you ever feel like you are "running thin" with all the roles of your life???? You know, your relationship with your spouse, your motherhood roles, your housekeeper role, your working outside the home role ... and then there are your personal needs, wants, really wants, do I really have to do this for myself needs (exercising) ... etc.

I feel like I'm always running thin on at least one of these. I try for it to be those that are not so important - or the ones that I like the least (exercise) :)

Yesterday was a good example of this.

I left work to go to the bank (make a deposit for work) then ran to CVS to get a prescription that of course was never called in and then went to pick up my boy - which is the HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY, when I pull in and he sees me from the fenced playground area and he runs to the door yelling "Moooooooooommy" and I run to him and we hug like we haven't seen each other in so long - which actually feels like so long, 9 hours is a long time away from each other.

Back to the point ... we head home, I tell him I need to get supper started and then I'll play with him. Which he agrees to so sweetly (it's not always this way) and I get supper going, next I'm rolling on the floor playing with Mickey Mouse Club House or pretending to be a baby that needs her bottle, he wraps me with his blankie and gives me my milk (which is actually a stick ... hahahaha). Supper is ready, time to clean up the table (yes my dinning table is always full of stuff) and eat supper. After supper we go outside and play while Daddy is weed eating (I've always found that term to be so funny), we go for a walk, check our mailbox, we go back inside, we play some more, table is still not fully clean, watched some TV together, it's too late to take a bath, I just washed the essentials, put on his PJs, read 3 books, brush teeth, say our prayers together with Daddy and the last thing we do together is talk about our day, which is another one of my favorite things to do with my son. :) After that I take my shower (finally I feel I have some ME time, isn't crazy how an essential of everyday life becomes your ME TIME??) and then time for Hubby & Me Time. Watched the season finale of 24. While I'm watching I'm petting our dog Buddy (I feel we neglect him don't spend much time with him since we became parents). Close to midnight 24 we finished watching it (thanks for TiVo) and guess what ... there were still some dishes in the sink I had to put in the dishwasher, Nico's milk cup needed clean up too ... quickly loaded my dishwasher ... oh no my table looks full of stuff again ... oh forget it is too late now.

Hit the bed!

5:30 am Nicolas comes to our bed, we snuggle for about 45 minutes and it's time to do it all over again.

That's what life is all about, isn't it? Thank goodness we can start all over again every day.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Oh the mood swings in toddlers

As every Thursday after work, I pick my son up and went to the grocery store, only this time we had another very important place to go before we went to the store, our local Chick-Fil-A, I wasn't planing on going there at all but Nico's Pre-School Director was eating and had a bag from the restaurant that my son was able to read recognize so before we even left the office he said "Mommy, I wanna eat at Chick-Pil-A" yes with a P ... it's not a typo! that's what he calls it, of course he said it so sweetly I couldn't pass it, I totally felt for it. So I said "Sure! let's go".

Off we go with our happy selves, he is all smiles, he's walking into the restaurant like he owns the place, so happy to be there, so excited, we order our food, we sit down and eat he's ready to hit the playground and all the excitement and happiness was taken away then! :(

He didn't want to go up the climbing part

"Mommy I CAN'T DO IT!!!!!!"

"Yes you can Nicolas, you've done this before plenty of times!"


"Nicolas if you would come down you could do it"

(what am I doing, trying to reason with a toddler, I have major problems don't I)

You know how these moments are kind of uncomfortable, well let's just think what would we need on this picture to make it worse
... That's Right ...
someone that you barely know is in the playground too
... a guy your husband is friends with, they used to be close friends growing up, he's bubbly and all super happy (irritating the poop out of me since I'm trying to calm down so I can get my child to calm down too) and all nicely decides to talk to me as I'm attempting to reason with my very frustrated toddler.

Let's just say that didn't help matters at all, Nicolas got more frustrated although some how he manages to make it up the climbing steps ...

"Yeay You did it!!! ... Yes Matt's been doing great, how are you?"

trying to have multiple conversations at once is hard, when you know the man is not really listening to you on the first place as he's more worried about his blackberry (not that I have ever been in that situation myself ... yeah right) than our conversation but oh well ... I decided to go back to the eating area to finish my supper, somehow I realized my child is unhappy again.

I walk in there and he's screaming again "Mommy, GET ME DOWN!!!!"
"Nicolas, you've done this before, just relax and come down please"

(Of course Mr. all happy and bubbly is still there, enjoying his daughter as she plays on the playground so well)


"Nicolas, calm down and ... " "NOOOOOOOOOO MOMMYYYYYYYY"

We are finally alone in the playground
"Nicolas come down the playground Now!"

this same repetitive conversation went on for a few minutes until my patience ran thin and I had to climb up through the tube slide to get my son, as soon as our eyes met he started crying really really load and put his hands on his behind ... he knew what was coming and it did happened indeed.

I told him afterward "When Mommy Calls You ... YOU COME, do you understand?" he said "Yeah " ... "Yes Ma'am".

I was so mad, I told him I was NEVER going to take him there AGAIN!!

(why did I say that???? Now I really can't take him ... gotta keep my word)

I decided to still go on with our plan and we went to the grocery store, Nicolas knew I wasn't happy, he asked me what he always asks me when I'm mad "Mommy are you mean???"
No son I'm not mean I'm just upset right now "Oh Mommy is upset right now!"
"Mommy Can I have a ball??? Mommy can I have that toy? Mommy can I have this and that and the whole store right this instant????"

"Nicolas ... we are her to get groceries not toy, not balls not anything else, OK??"

"Ok Mommy ... Oh Mommy you are so sweet ... I love you Mommy ... Hug!!!"
As I hug him he says "I'm sorry mommy for being bad on the playground" so of course I tell him I love him and that I'm sorry for yelling, guess what he asked me next ...

A few minutes go by as we keep going down the aisles of the store and as I'm trying to decide if this Ants Killer Powder is worth it I hear
"Mommy is never gonna take me to Chick-Pil-a Again ... that was very very ugly ..."

I take the powder, surely it will work and I he says

"Mommy Can I have a Ball???"


What kind of night did you have?

How often does your patience runs thin in public places?

Monday, May 11, 2009

Life as we know it (bold honesty be aware)

Have you notice how we all like to show our "perfect" lives in our blogs? How are children are always marvelous and well behaved - yeah you got to mention a few tantrums and things like that here and there so it'll be normal and credible, right? or if you look in Facebook everyone's status is perfect and glamorous??? ha ha ha ... that's right I'm laughing because my Mother's Day was far from perfect, it got much better as the day went on but that "commercial like Mother's day" that you see on TV wasn't exactly how it was at my house, no breakfast in bed, no jewelry, no flowers - Please know that I'm not putting my husband down at all - I'm just showing a true picture of normal life or as normal it is for us -

Saturday morning as I'm getting ready to get out of the house to go get my haircut I reminded my husband that Sunday was Mother's Day - I've heard or read somewhere that if you are a woman who love cards and details you shouldn't set up your husband for failure but instead remind him that you would really like a card or something on that special day - well I always felt weird because my thought was if he can't remember than why should I remind him? then it won't be real ... know what I mean? but my panic of waking up on Mother's day and not having a card from my son and my husband was more than I could take so I gave in and I told him FIRST BIG MISTAKE ... he looked at me all confused - I'm sure he thought WHAT??? YOU THINK I FORGOT TOMORROW IS MOTHER'S DAY???? WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO???? ... so after the confused look I just told him I didn't want any gifts ... that last year he did really good with my card and my rose that Nicolas so sweetly handed me. He said he'd have to go to town sometime today and I told him not to worry, I'd be back from the Salon in a couple of hours. Looking back I feel so stupid and selfish and ugly!

Stop ... just so you have all the information, my husband hurt his neck and knee between stress and playing softball, he took a muscle relaxer on Friday night that did not got out of his system 'til probably yesterday at lunch time - so he was in a confusing state of mind anyway! when I'm trying to remind him of what I WANT! Not thinking at all how he is feeling but what I WANT! :(

So I leave, get my haircut, come home ... Nicolas and I have lunch together, My husband is still under the influence of some massive muscle relaxer - we all took loong and well deserved naps and then Matt wanted to go to town and I asked if we could all go together as a family. You know us women are always pushing the "family time" :) So he agreed and we went, our first stop was Wal-Mart where he said he was gonna get what I already knew he was going to get me ... SECOND MISTAKE I had no idea that he was going to get me a radio for the kitchen, we had talked about it a while back but I promise I did not think about this being a Mother's Day Present! I am a woman who loves surprises and I just ruin mine :( He showed me which one he thought I'd like but I chose another one :D so I was indeed excited about my FM Radio, CD Player and MP3 Player that is already set up and playing on my kitchen!! After that we separated at the store so he could get my card and his Mom's, Nicolas and I went our ways and found a few items I forgot from my previous trip, you know important stuff like a set of 2 belts for him, refill for the flushable wipes, etc. We met at the cashiers and I could tell he was fully stress out he told me everyone was being ugly in front of the Card Stand, people elbowing each other trying to get the card they wanted so knowing my husband like I do (or I think I do) I KNOW this was a bad experience and what do I say with my smart mouth? What do you expect honey, it is the evening before Mother's Day, of course everyone is going to be ugly about it. THIRD MISTAKE! So we go on into our next stop, we bought take out and head to the park. This was my favorite part, we ate together, we play, it was a good moment.

By the time we got home, it was late, Matt had to mow the yard since his family was coming for supper the next day and I started to frantically prepare the 2 pans of lasagna I was going to serve my guesses the next night, I was not going to cook on Mother's day, you know!

As Matt came in it was way pass Nicolas' Bath time, so as they are quietly doing something I go and look for Matt to ask him to run the water and what do I do????

I totally ruin my next surprise, Matt was trying to get Nicolas to say "Happy Mother's Day" on this recordable card ... UGH ... DO I NEED TO KEEP PUTTING MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH LIKE THIS OVER AND OVER???

A N D ... LIKE THIS WASN'T ENOUGH I WALKED IN MY HUSBAND WRITING THE CARD LATER as Nicolas is screaming for me to come and bath him but of course I have the noodles boiling and I gotta put the Lasagna together ... total mess!!!!!!

Needless to say an argument followed (not a major one) and I started crying ... I cry that evening and I woke up and cried again ... what was going through my mind? I've ruin my Mother's Day! Totally ruin ... why couldn't I had kept my stupid mouth shut ... of course that was after I kept blaming it all on my husband in my mind!!

Yes my husband and son gave me my cards ... of course there was no surprise in that ... there was no signs of me celebrating ... I was totally down and wrapped up in what I WANTED ... :(

How selfish can I be that on Mother's Day I called my mom to wish her a happy day and I started crying on her, telling her how I feel and why I feel this way to the point that we are both crying ... did I already mention I cried all morning???

I wasn't gonna go to church, my eyes were puffy and red and it was just so obvious I've been crying!!! but I knew better and we went to Church and as soon as I got in Sunday School I knew I was glad to be there.

God slowly started to tell me that the only JOY in life I can find is totally through HIM. Yes our husbands and children can make us happy but the true JOY comes from Him and only Him!

Once I got "rescued" by HIM my day got so much better, Church was sweet, the little children came to the services and handed flowers to their mommies, Nicolas came to me so excited, he wanted to keep the flower to himself ... hahahahahahaha. He made me a pretty photo magnet with his picture on it - he looks so big in it ... glup - we went home and while Nicolas and Daddy played I fixed lunch and it was yummy. I had to clean the house a little more before everyone came but I had time to take a nap ... everyone came, everybody behaved, food was yummy and all ended well.

As of my Mom, she had a pretty good day herself, after I called her back and apologize so many times for being so selfish and ruining her morning - she said "Honey, this is life, I love that you come to me to tell me your things, I'm so happy you are feeling better" ISN'T SHE THE BEST?????????????

The last time I called her was for Nicolas to wish her a Happy Mother's Day in Spanish and she was thrilled, needless to say so was I ... how sweet was that!

It was a good day after all the drama I created!

Note to Self:
never underestimate the power of my husband
do not remind him ever again that tomorrow is Mother's Day
acknowledge and accept the fact that you are not going to get woken up with breakfast in bed or any shenanigan like that ... that's just not how your husband is, but He Loves Me and I Love Him so that's all it matters after all!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mother's Day

Helping my friend's class to write mother day's cards in Spanish I was taken back to my childhood years. As I sat there on those tiny chairs and read their sweet letters to Mom I remember all the ones I wrote my Mom when I was little. How many times I thank her for everything she did (and still does) for me, how every year I wrote to her that her efforts for my future were tremendously appreciated (of course I didn't use those words), how I couldn't live without her, how I will always love her, how I wish I could do more for her, how she was my life ... and today I look back and I'm thousand miles away from her,

yes we talk twice a week,

yes I will see her in a couple of months (God willing)

but tomorrow ... I won't be with her.

I know I'm not the only one, I know there are many who don't have their mom on this earth anymore, I know I'm not the only one away from "home" but no matter how many years go by, Mother's Day will always be a bitter sweet day for me.

I love that I am a Mom so now I can take part on this celebration but I can't hug my mom ... I will call her tomorrow, we will both cry and I will tell her again







FOR ENCOURAGING ME EVEN THOUGH SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING I DID OR SAID. You see, when your mom only went to school 'til 4th grade there are many things that are over her head and yet she still tries to understand, she is still willing to listen, even though she's never been married she still gives me sweet advice on how to support my husband and on the one job she took and accepted to heart - motherhood - she is still my hero!!

I love you "MAMITA" no matter how far we are, no matter how much longer we are on this life together, no matter where life takes us next TE AMO CON TODO MI CORAZON!

As I've always told her if I'm half the good mom you are I will feel so successful!

Happy Mother's Day to all

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

About Role Playing and hating my rolls!

Saturday morning Nico and I had a great time playing with Playdough - at our house Playdough is a treat - a reward. It worked really good that way when Nicolas was getting up from his bed many times during the night so we made a promise. If he stayed in his bed all night he could play with it in the morning. It worked. We still use it for that and for pooping in the potty and any other situation that comes to mind :)

So ... back to Saturday ... we sat on our kitchen floor and played. Boy did we play!! We had a party, we made cookies and our friends Mickey and Toodles came over to have cookies and juice. Unfortunately our friend Mickey got himself into the juice cup so quickly Nico put him in time out.

It's so interesting to see all the things your child will do with his role playing. Nicolas loves to put his friends in time out ... I'm not sure that's good or not ... but at least he knows there's discipline in this house and if you do something to get in trouble ... well there will be a consequence, right?

He loves to make cookies and pizza with his playdough. Of course we also make snakes, balls, phones and who knows what else!

After our morning fun ... Mommy took time to spend time with her friends too!

I had a girls night out. I went out to eat - spend way more money than I expected but it was fun and worth it. After that we went to the movies, to watch a girly one, we laughed, it was a good evening!!

Speaking of going out to eat, I have to say something about food. It's been bothering me for a while ... I've gain all my weight back since I decided to go on a Diet. Slowly but surely I manage to get all my precious 10 lbs. back ... I'm so disappointed and discourage, I think I'm gonna leave the program I am in because if I'm not willing to do my part, what's the point on spending $60 a month on buying protein bars and stuff like that. I love a good meal with friends, I love sweets, if they are around me I'm gonna eat them ... I have no desire to exercise, I've always hate it. I remember being in High School dreaming that one day my mom would let me present that fake note to my P.E. Teacher in which it would say something like "I'm sorry, my daughter had spring her ankle yet again so she can't run all those laps for ya!" Yes that's the kind of lazy a*s I am ... can you tell I'm upset with myself? Saturday after Nicolas and I played I took my shower and when I confronted myself with the mirror I was so mad, I took pictures of my fat rolls (those on my back - muffin top - my belly) and I'm suppose to print them and put them on my mirror, someone told me that could work. Help needed here "sistas" ... I don't wanna be a fat mom, I wanna be happy with myself ... and sure enough I'm not happy right now. Thank goodness I'm still a 10. If ever go back to 12 again ... Oh let's not even talk about it!

I can find all kinds of "excuses" for not exercising:
1) I don't have time
2) I don't wanna leave my child in the evening since I work from 8 to 5 just to go to the gym.
3) I live on top of a mountain I'm far away from everything and I'm not gonna walk on the road filled with nasty animals (snakes)
4) I'm not consistent with it ... If is not consistent is not helping me at all. Why bother ...
5) I didn't play sports growing up
6) I'm sitting all day long at the office, I don't walk anywhere because there are no sidewalks on this little town I live in. (Working in Chile in a big city I walked most of the time to and from work so I got my walking in everyday)
7) ok I ran out of options here ... don't have anymore!

Look in all honesty I know I need to drink my 2 liters of water a day and "move" 3 times a week and that's what's hard for me ... oh yeah and stop snacking at work!! :(

I'm just so upset because I did all that and as soon as I stop the exercise and the water ... I gain it all back!

UGH ... why can't I be like my cousin who can eat a whole cow and not gain 1 Oz.?? ... why can't I have the discipline of those friends I have that Diet Hard Core and exercise even harder??? Ok may be I should go and have some ice cream now ... just kidding ... I will drink more water though!