Thursday, November 19, 2009

How things change from one pregnancy to the next

It's been so long since I've posted anything, I do have the perfect excuse though ... I'm pregnant, remember? :0) Seriously, being pregnant this second time has been so different, more exhausting, more challenging than the first time (this is when I think of families like my aunt's, who birth 5 kids!! Holy Cow!). On the other hand it has gone by so quickly, Matt and I have talked about this so many times, with Nicolas it felt like forever, like he was just not going to get here anytime soon, we dream about him constantly, who is he going to look like? how is his voice going to sound? what's smell would he have the first time we hold him? how warm would he be? and every single question that had ever existed, we thought, we dream. I did everything told me to do, well not everything but you know a lot more than what I've done this time around. I think at this point of my pregnancy Nicolas had heard Baby Mozart in my belly so many times I had lost count, ask me how many times has Emilia heard it? ... ONCE! Yes, just once, it was a Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago (may be longer than a few, who knows) and I was relaxed reading a book of my favorite Chilean writer and it hit me, I had never allowed her to listen to classical music so I went and got the CD player (Yes I do have an iPod but I haven't downloaded music for it in a while and it certainly has no baby music in it, that's mommy's toy.) Anyway, all this to say wow how things change from one child to the next, and she is not even born yet.

Please don't misunderstand me, I will love my baby girl as much as I love my baby boy (yeah yeah he's not a baby, I know but in my heart he will always be) but you know, you find yourself with 3 years of experience on being a mother and those things that where oh so important, are not so that important anymore. You know the little things that you used to loose sleep over just doesn't matter anymore and I love that freedom. I love the fact that even though I know each child is different and unique we know what we are getting ready to face, there is not a fear of the unknown, at least not for this first few months, I even know the day she will be born because it's going to be a schedule C-section. I love it!! I'm not one who enjoys "to-do lists", I feel trapped by them, I say this to let you know I am not a planner, I don't like when you have to make your yearly appointments for the Doctor a year in advanced and that sort of thing, but I do enjoy the fact that I know for sure what day she will be born (Unless God has other plans for us of course, He always has the last word).

A lot of people has asked me what does Nicolas say or if he's excited and I can honestly answer he is really excited, which tells me he has no clue how is life is getting ready to change ha ha ha. He kisses my belly (he has to pull my shirt up in order to do that, somehow the bare skin contact is a must have to love on his sister), he's been very excited about opening presents that some people has already given us (what a blessing!), his main concern is to make sure she is not going to sleep "on my bed mommy!", I've tried hard to explain to him that she will live with us forever (yeah right, only for 18 or 20 years ...), I have also told him that when she's born she will be tiny and not able to play with him, talk, eat regular food. We have three different books that explain the process that goes on when Mommy goes to the hospital and brings a baby home. We've looked at his baby pictures to show him he was tiny once, that he was in my belly too, that he did wear diapers and we had to feed him, that he had a first bath picture, etc. He has enjoyed seeing himself on the short videos we made of him when he was a baby. It's been a sweet process we've lived together.

The fact that this Christmas will be the last one he will have by himself with us it's a mixture of feelings to me, Matt keeps saying is not a bad thing and I know that too but being an only child myself ... I know how good it felt to be the only one! :0) My husband was the 3rd of three children so he knows what having sibling is like, thank goodness, because I have no clue! he he he. I'm glad at least one of us knows what we are doing here ... just kidding!

We are only 13 weeks away from her big arrival. Wow where has the time gone!

1 comment:

Hi, I'm Amy! said...

I'm so excited to meet Emilia! I can't wait! As you know, my brother is 4 years younger than me and to be honest, my only Christmas memories have him in them :) Whoever woke up first would wake the other up and together (ALWAYS together) we'd sneak downstairs to see what Santa left us. He's going to love sharing these memories with his little sister :)