What's gonna take!

How many more times do I have to clean poop????????? Don't take me wrong, I don't have a problem cleaning poop from a diaper but from the carpet?, from the couch?, from my shoes?, from the bath tub?, from my mom's back yard? This is not even counting all those times I've had to clean your underwear (I've even had to throw away one) - I'm not challenging you son, I know you are capable to poop anywhere else BUT IN THE POTTY!

What's more frustrating of all, is that I know you are capable of doing this, I've seen you do it, you've done it before, more than once, 4 or 5 times actually but never in our bathrooms - could you tell me what's wrong with our toilet sit??? It seems perfectly fine to me but oh what do I know, right?!

Let's see, we have the sit cover (with Elmo, Big Bird, Cookie Monster on it looking at you with such friendly faces), we've threaten with spankings, we've offered a movie, we've ignored the accidents, we've tried the stickers reward system (didn't worked since you wanted all the stickers at once and got upset when I tried to explain to you that you could only get it when you use the potty), we've tried to talk to you about this but nothing so far.

When I walked in the bathroom and saw you trying to stand up from the bath when you saw all those brown floating things ... grrrrrrrrrr ... let's not even talk about it anymore ... what is it gonna take for you to do this boy!!

After tonight's episode we are trying the "No TV until you poop in the potty strategy". Hopefully this one will work because if this doesn't do it, I'm not sure what else to do ... REALLY! Considering the fact that it's so convenient for you to watch a show while I cook supper or when I need a break - I can't imagine you not pooping on the potty for a whole week and NO TV! (I know, what kind of mother am I, right? Trust me!, I'm not proud that my child likes TV so much but I have to admit it is convenient for the things named above) May be God is trying to teach me something ... patience may be?
Whatever it is I hope I get it soon (meaning I pray that you get it quickly and poop on the potty!!).

I'm tired of this shit challenging situation. I know!!!! I know this is nothing compare to what we - as parent - will have to deal with in the future, I have family and friends who have teenagers, I know that but right now ... this is my struggle and I had to get it out of my system or it was going to drive me insane.

In the mid time if you happen to have any suggestion on how to motivate this boy to use the potty for number 2 please let me know!

So What If

(before you start reading this I have to let you know this talks about something very personal in a woman - my period - so if you are grossed out by the subject, well just close this window and go somewhere else :D)

Normally I am like a clock (of course that has nothing to do with me, it's all thanks to my birth control) I know exactly what day it's coming, so when this present month it came 5 days later, I literally freak out! I know! I know! I shouldn't, I'm on the pill, right? Well you know, we all know the friend of a friend who got pregnant - even though she was on the pill - we've also heard the stories of women who decided to change their birth control and then something happened and boom! next thing you know ... they are pregnant - so all these stories were crumbling on my head, but quickly I went back to "in control mode" and I told myself the next day would be the day and everything would be fine. The days passed and passed (it felt more like weeks) and I started to wonder what if. Oh my!! the thoughts that went through my head and the speed!! I didn't know I was capable of such but I guess our mind is so powerful that when we get to this stage we completely loose it.

"But what if I'm pregnant??" ... "what am I gonna do??" ... "we can't afford 2 on daycare ... I would have to stay home send me straight to the mental institution I think I would have to do it, God wouldn't send me anything I can't handle", I know that in my heart, I know!! but my rational side kept reminding me how impatient I am with just one cute funny sweet toddler boy. How could I do this with my almost perfect toddler and a BABY!!!!!
"Oh Noooo ... this can't be happening" ... "Matt and I have finally came to peace about being fine with just the 3 of us"

So this is how I spent the last 5 days of my life. I started telling some close friends - thinking that because I was sharing it wouldn't come true (not sure where that came from but that was my reasoning, I told you I lost it!) - and another day went by and I had finally decided to buy a pregnancy test. One of my best friends suggested to buy the cheap one from the Dollar store, I thought "Uhm ... nope ... I have to buy the expensive one since I need to be really sure!" then as I was driving from work straight to the super store to buy one I called Matt. He told me I was panicking, my period was going to come. He said "if by next week it hasn't come then buy the test" my answer was "ARE YOU CRAZY???????? I CAN'T WAIT 'TIL NEXT WEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!" so he quickly knew my hormones were kicking and he said "well honey is your body, your pee, do what you feel is best!" I love the simplicity of my husband! He also suggested to buy the "cheepo" test, he said that way if it comes, at least you just wasted a buck. (yes he's frugal too) so I listened to him and I went to the Dollar Store, looked around for more items, I felt weird just buying that, it was pretty obvious what I was going through, I walked around trying to find something else to buy but I didn't and as I was in line waiting to pay for the test that was going to give me the answer I was searching for, my body did it instead! Haaaaaaa ... what a relief! I bought the test anyway - who knows if I have another one of these panic moments - at least the $1.00 wasn't wasted, right?

After that, as I'm driving to some of my favorite stores (Old Navy & Target) I texted my friend to let them know "it has come" and they were happy for me and I was even happier, I felt so light, so relief, so free!! I had the best time shopping by myself for 2 hours, great deals (something good that comes from a bad economy is that everyone is having ridiculous sales). Came home to my cute, funny, sweet toddler boy and my understanding sweet husband, had a wonderful Chick-Fil-a Meal, Nicolas was oh so happy that Mommy was home and boy was I glad to be home, with just the 3 of us!!!!

One good thing came out of all this, Matt & I had a great talked that night, after our little one was asleep, we talked about the whole thing and we feel that we could have one more child, right now is just not the time -

unless God feels different and next month I'll be blogging about my unplanned pregnancy - crap

- anyway ... there you have it.

note: I just want to clarify I admire women who stay at home and take care of their families 24/7. I just don't feel like I'm that type of woman - may be I'm still too selfish and immature, who knows! certainly not me.

Oh What A Night!

So everything was going smoothly, I went and volunteered yesterday at Nico's preschool to help with their little Valentine's Party, it was fun and I love being an active part on his little things :D Came back to work, went back to pick him up, went to the grocery store, no accidents (pee), no complaining, just one perfect evening (I should of know then).

We get home and I take my keys off the ignition - like I always do - and put them in the little compartment to the right of the steering wheel, I get out, go the back of the car to open it so Matt can come and get things out for me while I get Nico out of the car BUT TO MY SURPRISED IT WAS LOCKED!

Up until this point I'm still thinking is just the back of the car that's locked (naive I know!) so I go back to the front to get the keys to open the back when I realized that THAT DOOR IS LOCKED TOO and since I'm much of an optimistic I go and check the passenger door to see if may be, just may be, that one could be open as I'm hoping for God to touch my car and just by His endless power unlocked it ... needless to say He didn't do it on my timing :D

SOOOOO THE CAR IS LOCKED, MY CHILD IS IN IT, BUCKLED IN HIS CAR SEAT ...

I ran up the stairs to see if we had another key or an opener (not sure why I asked this when I knew the answer for that but again I'm an optimistic so I thought may be somehow or another we could of gotten one and I just didn't know it), of course the answer is NO. Quickly I call my pastor to get a number from the guy we go to church with who does this kind of stuff, you know! (I don't know the name for that) So he can't find the phone book at his son's house, I was hoping that he would have on it on his cell phone but yet another NO answer, so as I'm talking to him on the phone I reach for my phone book and get the number, call the man, who just happened to be close to my house (I live on top of a mountain so I knew now God was answering my prayer) so he was here after a few minutes THAT FELT LIKE HOURS since our son is quicly loosing his patience, screaming from the top of his longs

"MOOOOOOMMYYYYYYYYYYY GET ME OOOUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!"
My answer was in a very forced calm voice
"Nicolas, I need you to please calm down and listen"

Nico - "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ... GET ME OOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!"

Me - "Son, I know you are frustrated but this was an accident ... the keys are in the car and the doors are locked ... see???" as I show him that even though I'm opening the door is just not opening. I can't finish saying what I'm saying and I keep hearing the screaming.

I realized there's no way to make him understand so I keep praying, Matt keeps trying to show him that all he has to do is push the red button on his car seat and pull the locked on the car but of course our two year old is so frustrated he can't see straight.

More time goes by (probably 2 seconds) that feels like more hours and I stand up again to try to talk to him and I say:

"Nicolas? look, mommy and daddy are with you, we are in the house and everything is fine, there is nothing we can do right now but wait, ok?"

At this point he is not screaming but he is spitting - that's his thing when he is really mad and I always get on him for doing that - so he tells me:
"Look Mommy, I'm spitting"
I said "I know son ..." so I guess at that point he realized something was different since I didn't get on him for spitting, so he decided to kicked his shoes off, pull his socks and I was afraid he was going to pee in the car (or even worse #2) but he didn't then - he did it later on the couch - I'm telling you it was a great night :D

Finally David (the man from church) came and in a matter of seconds, got the door unlocked and Nicolas shouted "YEAY HE DID IT" So did we!

The night went on, we unloaded the groceries, I fixed the Angus stake burger I've been craving for weeks and right before we were getting ready to eat I asked Matt to make Nicolas pee so he wouldn't have an accident while we ate. So he did, he brought the little bucket from the potty, pull his pants down and told him he needed to pee. As I'm standing in the kitchen I start hearing this hard breathing that sounds Oh so familiar - it sounded like when Nicolas is working on a poop - WHAT? IS HE POOPING?? So I asked Matt ... are you sure he's not pooping???

Matt answers - "well I surely hope not because of the bucket is in front of him-OH-MY-GOD-HE-DID!!!!!!!!"


Another crisis moments, this one much easier to solve, leave everything in the kitchen, Matt takes Nicolas into the bathroom ... I grab the poop with a Kleenex and some minor cleaning is done (the poop was hard ... sorry to be so graphic but I don't want you to think we are that nasty) and after that WE CAN FINALLY SIT DOWN AND EAT OUR SUPPER.

Haaaaa ... what a night but just like the Imagination Movers say "Another Idea Emergency Solved"

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

First of all I want to tell you I have so much in my mind I'm not sure this post will make much sense but I'm going to attempt to share my memories of this trip with you.

I definitely feel God gave me this trip, on December 30th my husband decided to go on the internet and look for prices on tickets to Chile, for our surprise, tickets had gone down a little bit (the last time I look they were $2,000 per ticket so I knew there was no way I was going to visit any family any time soon). I didn't pay much attention when Matt told me, I just kept doing whatever I was doing in the kitchen and moved on. Bath time came and while I was there, Matt thought about the miles he had earned for years and years and he "played" with that and realized if we "cash" all his miles we could go for nearly nothing. So he proposed this brilliant unselfish completely loving idea and I got excited, my wheels starter turning and I thought ... hey! why not! So next thing I know I'm checking at work to see if I can take a couple of weeks off and just like that, my wonderful husband purchased the tickets and in 3 weeks I was going to be taking a plane to see my family in the great company of my little boy!

I had always dream of going to Chile and not tell a soul and surprise everyone but I never thought I had the balls character to do it but somehow or another I managed to keep my mouth shut and didn't say a word - except my uncle who was going to pick me up and a friend who lives in China that was going to Chile at the same time, I mean what are the chances for both of us to be arriving to our home country on the same day just for an hour of difference!!!! So I felt like I had to tell him.

So the day came and without much preparation (other than throwing a bunch of summer clothes in our suitcase) we left to go to Atlanta and take that wonderful flight that would, once again, take me to the place that I used to call home!

The first funny thing at the airport was people's faces at our gate when I arrive with one lovely 2 year old beside me, you could see their minds going quickly at the worse scenario possible during this night time flight, I guess they thought "Man a child on my flight! ... boy am I lucky or what?" Needless to say he was the only child so if he cried it was obvious that was him :D but they didn't count with the marvelous character of my child and the little help of Benadryl so we had a very pleasant flight.


As we arrive my uncle and his wife were waiting on us, I cried of course like I always do when I arrive there, and inmediately got in the car to drive for about 5 hours to get to my hometown. I have to give it to my wonderful child who had to be in a car for 3 hours from our hometown to Atlanta, 9 1/2 hours on a flight and then 5 more hours in a car to finally get to our destination! I don't think people realized the effort that means for a 2 year old (and his mother) to travel all these hours to get there, if they only knew what it takes, they probably wouldn't asked so much from us when we go. (This has to do with the Ugly of this trip that I'll mention later on this post).

Oh the faces I saw and the excitement I felt any time we were surprising people, it was indescribable, some people thought I had gotten divorce and that's why I decided to show up without telling a soul! ha! ... I guess as we grow older we loose the capability of enjoying a surprise for what it is and we have to make it rational somehow. :(


The whole point of surprising people was for me to have a calm, relaxed, enjoyable time. Until this trip, every time I visit I announce it to the world so of course each one of my family members and friends wanted to spend time with us and I found myself juggling an agenda so I can fit everyone in it and of course by the time the trip was over I was more tired than I was before I left, stressed, feeling guilty because I neglected my mom for spending time with other people, etc - Do I need to explain more? - so this time I said "Forget the rest" I owe myself a trip like this, one that I can enjoy every second of it without being interrupted by phone calls and people knocking at our door so we can sit down and talk - What? wait a minute, that's what you did before you had a child, now it's hard to find time to have a conversation ... nevertheless sit down for one ... when you have a little one who wants to share with you every thought of his and invite you to "fun" places to play with him - sorry no time sitting down and talking on this trip, only playtime!

So I did everything I wanted to do (well ... everything my son allowed for us to do, not that I let him run my life but in a way when you are a mother your schedule and all your activities are dictated - more or less - by the mood of your child, I don't take him shopping or to places where I know it will be a nightmare for both of us) so in my mind I had great plans of visiting my aunt who lives in the country and has plenty of room outside for my little one to get nasty and play nonstop with cousins he doesn't get to see but once a year (if that). I knew my cousins live close by my mom's house so we would be getting together for playdates and things like that and thank to the good Lord my dream came to a reality and that's all we did. play and have fun.

I was able to enjoy the wonders of my family's great cooking, the refreshing taste of those Chilean drinks that I love, the rewarding sound of a big laugh and the joyous tears that we shed every time we saw someone that we love and miss! Oh the wonders of family love! For those of you who have your family close by, imagine for a second to be in a complete different continent (yes North and South America are different continents on my book) and being able to see them just once in a blue moon, do you know the joy that it is to be with them again? The blessing that it is to be able to spend a birthday celebration with your cousin or be part of a surprise party for your great aunt who's turning who knows how many years!!!!!! No words can describe these wonderful feelings!

The Bad? well that no matter how long you go you always wish you had more time.

The Ugly? people's feelings getting hurt by my choice of not calling them while I was down there. I understand that as a first reaction but I don't understand the long big drama some people is making of it 'til this day, but I won't let them opaque my joy and thankfulness for a blessed wonderful fun time with my son and my family.

I'M BACK!

Just a quick note to say I AM BACK!

I was in my home country for two weeks, it was a surprise trip so there is a lot to share but right now I'm exhausted and I just wanted to touch base and say I'm here ... I'll start sharing all the juicy details soon and very soon!

One thing is for sure, this has been the best trip of oh so many, this is the first one I was able to relax fully, rest and have fun with mostly family (very few friends by choice so I could rest).

Thanks to prayers, understanding friends, a great therapist and a right frame of mind this trip was just like I dream for it to be :D