Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Vacation and parenthood ... sorry is long but please read bc I need your advise

Another summer has come and gone and we were blessed to enjoy a week at the beach, last year was our first and we loved it, enjoyed time with friends and family, this year and since my Mom is here we just did it as a family, my men, my mom, my little belly and me (I love to say my little belly because when I was going through my first pregnancy I was already huge at this time).

We had sweet moments, fun moments, melt down moments (from my child and me - don't forget how hormones can affect too), good heart to heart talks with my mom (I needed those), there was only one thing missing and that was dinner alone with my hubby, hopefully we'll get to do that soon.

The day we arrived was gorgeous, Nicolas went straight to the pool, which was right outside the back door while mom and I unpacked and my mom had a germophobic moment and started cleaning, washing, swiping and disinfecting every little corner, I guess is a miracle of God we (Matt, Nico and I) have not gotten contagious with any deadly diseases since I truly am not nearly as thorough as my mother would like for me to be, don't take me wrong, I'm not a nasty person, I love to take my shower everyday, wash my hands after I use the bathroom or if I have been out, you know all the normal stuff people do but I don't walk around my house with the mop and clorox disinfecting stuff ... ha ha ha. I had forgotten my mom had this quality and that I certainly didn't get it. No wonder she cleans for a living and I sit on my desk behind a computer =)

We had a rainy day too but we decided to spend it in other activities, we visit the Aquarium, went to the zoo and the kids museum, I was running out of ideas and places and the days started getting better so we were able to enjoy the beach a couple of times more.

My favorite moments were:

* watching Spanglish with my mom!
* seeing Nicolas enjoy the waves as he pushed us away since he wanted to stand on his own and balance on his own, he did really good, he loves water just like his daddy and I.
* watching Nicolas and my mom play together, building sand castles.
* taking a walk with my mom at the beach while Matt and Nico played in the water.
* walking in the beach in the evening and getting our feet wet
* seeing my mom's face at the aquarium, she absolutely loved it!!
* getting caught by a wave under the water (I'm not afraid of water) it brought back so many childhood memories!!!! I'm glad I didn't hit the bottom of the ocean with my belly because then it wouldn't been fun but it was funny to think back and remember how I was trying to fix my bathing suit before the wave would let me go since I was pretty sure everything was out of place =)
* Nicolas and my mom sharing a room together.

I feel so blessed to have this opportunity to spend time with my family. What a gift, specially considering my mom lives so far away.

In other news with our family, at the end of this month we should find out what our 2nd baby is going to be. E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E is betting is going to be a girl, I still give this baby a chance that he could be a boy. Wouldn't it be fun if he is a boy and I'm THE ONLY ONE who thought of that chance!! he he he he.

Nicolas is being a normal 3 year old (his birthday is coming up this weekend). While we were on vacation any suggestion of what we could go or were going to do he did not like, his answer for them all was "nope, I don't wanna do that" or "but I don't want to" or "no thank you!" (at least he was polite, right?). Of course as he didn't want to go we still did what was planned and most of the time he had a great time. He's having a really hard time with people dressed in costumes, of course every where we went there was people like that, forget chick-fil-a if the cow is there, you would think he saw the devil himself, he starts shaking and his heart pounds so hard I can see it coming out of his chest ... is so sad and I have no idea where this fear comes from, people had told me this is normal but I don't like it at all, we've never talked about witches or anything scary and when he saw the clown at the kids' museum he said "that witch is going to get me" WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM???? I've been meaning to talk to his teacher about this but this past few days she hasn't been in the classroom so anyway ... anybody has any suggestion??? what to do?? how to handle this?? Oh yes and since I'm asking about suggestions I need more help. Here's an example of what the situation is:

The other day we went to my in-laws and my nephew was there outside without any shoes on, which we don't agree with, of course Nicolas wants to do that too because he sees his cousin doing it and I try to explain to him that it was important to put his shoes on so he wouldn't get bites or cuts or splinters or whatever and he said "but D. doesn't have his shoes on" I said but I am your mom not D's and if I asked you to do something is not to be mean, I just want to protect you" so he apparently understood because he put them on but then he went outside and was insisting that his cousin would go and put his shoes on, how do I explain to him that if his cousin is raised differently we don't need to interfere but just mind our own self, I don't wanna say that because it seems like I'm raising him to be selfish and that's not what I want for him either, I know he's only 3 but in his early mind there are things that are important for me as a Mom that he understand. Anyway my experience mothers that read me, tell me ... how do you do it? what do you say?

Thank you!


Hi, I'm Amy! said...

As far as these little boys saying things that we have no idea where it comes from... I think that they are little sponges. They hear and absorb everything they hear. Wes amazes me with some things that he says and knows. I'm like, HOW did he learn that and WHERE!!! It's amazing. They catch anything.

Now to the issue of different parenting and rule styles... it's tough. If you firmly believe something then stick to your guns and honestly, I think that the answer "because I said so" is good enough for them. They have to know that we are the parent and what we say goes and it doesn't always need to be explained. I know that sounds harsh, but I think it's the truth. Nico does what his parents say and Wes does what his parents say. And sometimes "why" can't be explained :)

Anonymous said...

I'm not experienced in this department but with kids at school I always give 2 choices both of which I can live with and let them choose. That way you can kind of trick them into doing what you want them to but within choices.

But I agree that sometimes there is "just I said so..." and that is it. :)