Life with two

I remember when I was expecting Emilia how worried I was about Nicolas, how his life was going to change, how was I going to be able to share my time and love to my two kids (I still feel kinda old when I say "the kids" I don't know why but I do), little I knew that shouldn't been my worry.  Noooo ... my worry should have been how are you going to have a mind to remember everything you need to do and take with you anytime you go somewhere with your two kids!!  Phew ...

Let's rewind a little, Nicolas is 3 1/2 so he's old enough that if he wants to take a toy or anything he just goes and grabs it, I can tell him "get your jacket son" and he goes and does it (when he's willing to do so) but with a baby, I remember the first day we went out (Her 1st Doctor's appointment) I was getting out the door without a diaper bag, I totally forgot I needed one of those again :).  Don't worry I've come a long way since that 1st day, I do keep a diaper bag (actually is just a big purse now, I don't use a diaper bag anymore) in the car (I won't tell you that sometimes I forget to "reload" the diapers or wipes) in the car at all times, I have another one to take to my mother-in-law when she keeps Emilia every once in a while if I have an appointment or anything like that.

Now going out to the grocery store - all FOUR of us - is a different story.  We've only done it once and I don't see it happening any time soon, I really like to do things my way and in my time (you know you are the same way).  That time we had to take two buggies because E's car seat was so big at the time - we had switched to Nicolas' old car seat now - that I couldn't put her on the front of the buggy but inside of it so there was no room for many groceries, Matt took Nicolas in his buggy I had Emilia on mine, we had to divide the list - which to me was such a  task - I do my list in the order of the aisles, I know I have a little "MONK" in me sometimes (I should have it for the cleaning part of my life but unfortunately I don't) and then you have to time it right with her feedings, you know if Nicolas is hungry is actually better, we get some pop corn chicken and juice and that keeps him occupied, if Emilia gets hungry Weeeell shopping experience is a disaster or it needs to an  "aborted mission" all together, I do go everywhere with my "UdderCover" but there is just something about Wal-Mart that prevents me from feeding my daughter there :)

So far going to church has been easy, as long as I get up early enough to get everyone ready and going out to eat works great as long as we - again - time it right!

I guess after all is not really that bad, it just takes getting use to doing the baby thing again when you were so used to having a child old enough that he can do so much for himself, sometimes too much.  He wants to do everything by himself and there are things that I'm not ready to do unsupervised, anything that has to do with cleaning (teeth, hair, bathing, wiping) I do let him do it but I go right behind him to check or have my turn to do it too.

In other news
- Nicolas has been moved up to a class for "big kids", he now has circle time and show-n-tell which he's so excited about.  We went to get his hair cut the other day and he was telling the girls at the salon all about his circle time of that day.  This morning before he left for pre-school he asked "Mommy! is today the day for show-n-tell??" :)  We were talking about that yesterday, I was explaining to him what that was and what was expected from him, we'll see how it works, oh how I wish I could hide in his room and hear him talk during his daily activities. He's such a talker, sometimes I have to remind him that he needs to give a turn for everyone to talk because if it was up to him we could just hear him talk 24/7, specially when he's excited!
He has been showing signs of defiance, if I tell him to not do something he looks at me - like I'm not really there - and does it and then when we are trying to correct him he gets this green on his face which drives me nuts SO I big warning was given to him the other night by his Daddy and I guess it worked because we didn't see any of it yesterday, now I know it'll happen again and I'll have to remind Daddy of the punishment offered at the time so we can keep our word.

-Emilia is cooing and smiling all the time and we LOVE it, she has discovered her hands, which she loves to hold right into her mouth, she drools a lot which reminded me that Nicolas got his 1st tooth at 4 months so may be she'll do the same? who knows ... since I'm breastfeeding her I think I'll be fine if she doesn't have any teeth until later on but again is not on my timing so whatever it is, it is!   She's been sleeping good for a baby her age, she's a little clock depending on what time she goes down.  If she goes down around 9:30 -10:00 I know for a fact she'll wake up at 2:30 and then at 5:30 if she goes down at 11:00 she'll wake up at 4:30 and then around 7 so it works pretty good that I know how many hours of sleep I'll get each night, so far so good!  I know that this great pattern changes whenever the teething time comes but I don't want to think about that for now.  She had her 2 months check up and is doing great, she is now 12 Lbs 8 Oz and 23 1/2 inches long so she's on the 75% - 90%  which has never meant much for me because that's just comparing her with all the rest of the children and she's her own individual.  I can tell she's normally growing so whatever percentile she's in it's fine with me! She got her shots and had a lot of fever but even with that she slept well.

Ok this is all for now ... longer post than I expected but since I haven't been in my blog in weeks ... here was your update! :)

My son reminding me of me

Ever since Emilia has been born I look at Nicolas and I can not believe how big he is, he had reminded me of me so much this past week, it's amazing.  

The other day him and his dad went to "Nana's House" (probably just to give me a break) and when they got back he brought me two flowers - one of those was the yellow ones that Dogs normally pee on - that's what my mom used to call them and that brought back immediate memories. It took me back to my front yard, a sunny day, playing outside and cutting those yellow flowers for my mom, how she made me feel so special by putting them on water like they were the prettiest she had ever seen.  I could see that window on the kitchen with a little cup where that special flower found its last days :) but in my child mind it was just a very special place for it to be so my mom could see it when she did her work.  So as my boy gave me this precious flower I made a big deal and put it on a little cup with water on my kitchen window.  The other flower was smaller and that one was for his sister. 

Last Thursday he went to the movies for the first time ever.  "How To Train Your Dragon" was the chosen movie that him, his dad and cousin went to see.  At first Nicolas didn't want to go, his first reaction to anything new is NO but it didn't take much convincing after I told him they have big bags of popcorn at the movies, so his speech of "Nooo I don't like going to the movies" changed into "Daddy, when we go to the movies tomorrow we have to get our big bag of popcorn".  I was a little nervous because I know my boy gets easily scared - or he likes to pretend that he is - so I packed his bag pack with some juice box and his blankie but of course my husband didn't use it, he said he had to "man up" :)  I'd totally taken the bag with me into the movies and gotten it out at the first sign of fear, guess is a good thing he went with his daddy and not me :)  When they got there the first thing he thing he told Matt was "Daddy! I don't want to
share my popcorn" so Matt got an empty cup and pour some of the popcorn into his own cup so he was happy then, when his cup was empty he got up and went to refill it from his cousin's bag without even asking, you know when you are 3 and you feel everything should be yours without even asking.  Colby - our nephew - didn't say a word but kept looking at Matt with a "help me" look.  Matt also said Nicolas asked him when was this movie going to be over, half way through the movie, that's when he got up and sat on his lap.  Over all a good experience and I'm so excited because this summer all three of us we are going to watch Toy Store 3. Can not wait!!

This reminded me of my first time to the movies, I was older than Nicolas, I was probably 7 or 8.  I went to watch "My friend Max", my cousin went with me and it was fun, we walked to the theater together, it was like a big girl event. I even remember what I was wearing, you know like we girls do.

Nicolas is so sensitive, while he was watching Toy Story 2 the other day - one of the many times he had watched it - he was getting very sad (you know when Jessie remembers how her life used to be when Emily was her owner), so sad to the point of tears.  I sat with him and told him it was only a movie and there was no reason to be sad, he said "but Mommy Jessie is sad and that makes me sad" ... this reminded me of when I was little I used to watch this cartoon called "Heidi" which was nothing but a soap for kids, her life was so sad and I remember watching the TV and crying because Heidi's life was just so sad.  

 Heidi and her dog niebla

Oh my boy ... you have a lot of your mother in you!!

I LOVE YOU!!!!

7 years!!

Seven years ago I took the biggest step of my life, I left everything and everyone for the man that I loved and still love and will forever love!

Matt and I got married 3 times - yes 3 times - twice in Chile and once here seven years ago! We had a civil ceremony on April 3th, we had our church wedding and reception on April 5th (this is the one we use as our official anniversary) and we also got married here in early May (can you tell by then I wasn't keeping track of the date?).

I remember the certainty I felt when I marry this man, how sure I was (and I am still today) that we were meant to be together and I always tell Matt, if I had not come as an exchange student or if he had gone to college or if anything would had been different we would still be together somehow because God made us both for one another!

Matt was the 3rd child, the unplanned one so was I, I wasn't the 3rd, I'm the only child of a single mom so of course I wasn't planned either but God knew :D

Seven years ...

I still can't believe it's been that long ... that fast ... how in seven years we went from a couple to a family of four.

I thought I should post those special memories I have from this seven years, before I have Alzheimer and forget it all (Matt always says when I'm an old woman I may even forget how to speak English hahahahaha) so here we go:

Our Wedding Day! ~ It was a warm sunny day, early Fall in Chile. Sky totally blue, not one cloud just the ones I was walking on :) cheesy I know but that's how I felt :)

The first day at our house ~ we flew up here a few days after our wedding, our house looked so cute, nice, new, I couldn't believe I was married and we had a house. Our walls have never been painted (except our kids' rooms) so they still look the same they did when I first walked into this house, ok well ... they have some marks now ... I KNOW we need to paint them, one day we will :)

I'll never forget it snowed in April that year, probably by the 2nd or 3rd day I've been here we got a considerable amount of snow, I felt totally betrayed as my husband promised me I was going to be in gorgeous spring weather ha ha ha

Our many trips ~ We went to the beach, San Francisco, Playa del Carmen, Chile. It was so nice to travel by ourselves, hopefully we'll do it again in a few years when our kids are old enough that we can comfortably leave them with someone else (Ok may be not comfortably because I'm that kind of mom but you know what I mean).

The adjustments of those first years ~ I remember trying to figured out how to do this together, Matt and I didn't date for a long time before we got married, we knew we love each other and that was all we needed to take this step but your everyday stuff, daily routines and habits, that was hard!! I remember asking Matt to put together a desk we got as a present, I must of asked him a couple of times in the same week and he came home one day so mad and said "Don't ever asked me twice to do something" so I didn't :) Proof of that is a picture we got as a wedding gift that sat on the floor by the wall for months before it got hang, he thought I didn't like it that's why he never hang it he said :). I remember cleaning on Saturdays until one beautiful sunny day I said "I'm done wasting my Sat. on cleaning, let's go somewhere, let's do something" ha ha ha.
I remember having breakfast together in the mornings when neither one of us really talked, we just sat at the table and ate our breakfast in silence, needless to say we are not morning people.
Looking back I have so many memories like this, figuring out how we wanted to live our lives as a couple. Thank goodness those years have passed because they were not easy but they were necessary I know that.

Our Dates ~ We used to go to the movies every weekend that first year we were married, it was our dating time since we didn't date much before. It was so much fun, going out to eat and to the movies (boy we must have spend a lot of money doing that but I'm glad we did because now with two kids budget has changed he he he).

I also remember the day Matt came home and said "I think it's time for us to have children". 4 months later we were expecting :) Of course I remember the day we had Nicolas and even tho it turned out to be one of those scary stories you don't want to share with first time moms all I can taste now is the sweetness of that day, holding him for the first time, feeling the warmth of his little body, hearing his first cry. Now with our second one I had to do some convincing but it did happened too and here we are.

Our last picture before we had Nicolas and all 3 of us on our 1st family vacation

Our last picture before we had Emilia


Emilia and her daddy

What I love the most about Matt is his sense of humor, how we can laugh with our irony. I love how he puts up with my emotional drama - which has been VERY present lately for the obvious reasons - how he understands me and brings me back to my center.

Thank you honey!!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!

This year we both forgot it was our anniversary, days with a little baby run all together and you don't keep up with the date so as soon as I heard this woman on the news "Good Morning, on this April 5th ..." about fell off the bed and quickly called Matt to ask him what date was today and then he remembered too ... we both laughed!

These two pictures are from my top favorite ones of the men that I Adore!!

Big Deal

I don't mean it ironically but completely honest and excited, yes it is a Big Deal!! I come from a society where breastfeeding isn't optional, no one ask you "so are you going to try to breastfeed?", in my country of origin there is just no way around it, unless your baby has a problem with your milk or you are one of the very few who doesn't have enough supply then you put them on formula, so the fact that this time around I have good milk to feed my princess it's a BIG DEAL!!!

The fact that I was able to freeze my first little bag of milk yesterday was a BIG DEAL for me, even if it's only 6 oz and it took me like 3 days worth of pumping - I only do it once a day, in the mornings while she takes her first (sometimes only) morning nap.

With my firstborn I wasn't this lucky, patient, relaxed ... so many factors involved ... so after 5 weeks of doing it and my boy being so hungry that I had to supplement with formula since we left the hospital (the boy was an oz from 9 lbs) I was done. He was hungry all the time, I was drained and the bottle seemed like such an easy way out I gave in and we were happily ever after :) Well ...not really, he had to go to daycare at 2 months old and he got RSV, Croup, Bronchialitis - I'm not even sure how to spell that last one, I've never heard of it until he had it - but it was my first time and that saying that your first child is like the first pancake you make, it's true, isn't it? You learn so much and now that I'm doing this all over again sometimes I wish I could go back and do it all over again with him BUT I know that's just a dumb way of thinking since that's impossible and all I have is my experience and a future ahead to make things better, right?

I remember how everyone from Chile would ask me how my breastfeeding was going and I'd say "Well I'm not doing it anymore" and you could tell they were surprised, no one ever said it but I knew they were thinking it, after all in that society that is what's expected from you as a mother (pretty much in all South America I'd adventure to say) and here wasn't a big deal. Isn't funny how we - as a society - get used to certain things and after a while things that on the other side of the world are very important and unbreakable, where we live are just not a big deal?? and vice versa too. Don't take me wrong here, this is not a judgmental thing at all, this is just a fact that each society has its own costumes and believes, when you come from a different one than the one where you are raising a family sometimes those two oppose and what do you do then?, which one do you take? truth be told, that would depend on which one is more convenient at the time, because we are creatures of habits and people who likes what's convenient for us, during my first time as a Mom I really felt I couldn't do this anymore. I remember I pumped one time when it was feeding time and all I got was may be an Oz from both sides combined so to me that was a pretty clear sign that I didn't have enough to keep my boy well fed and went to formula!!

This time I've enjoyed my time at home even tho I was scared thinking "I'M GONNA BE HOME FOR 4 1/2 MONTHS!! I'm not that type of woman, I'm gonna go insane" You see? I dreamed of being a business woman traveling the world, getting married and having kids WAS NOT a priority on my list! :) so staying at home with my baby - as crazy as it sounds - was a little scary to me. Weeeeeell, let's just say now I'm not looking forward to have to take her somewhere for someone else to take care of her, thankfully my mom is coming to our rescue in the middle of May and I'm praying she stays for longer than 3 months but if not 3 months would be fantastic too!!

Boy am I glad that I wear those undershirts because
I always forget to pull my shirt down after
I feed her as you can see on here ... hehehehehe

I love you my princess!!