Big Deal

I don't mean it ironically but completely honest and excited, yes it is a Big Deal!! I come from a society where breastfeeding isn't optional, no one ask you "so are you going to try to breastfeed?", in my country of origin there is just no way around it, unless your baby has a problem with your milk or you are one of the very few who doesn't have enough supply then you put them on formula, so the fact that this time around I have good milk to feed my princess it's a BIG DEAL!!!

The fact that I was able to freeze my first little bag of milk yesterday was a BIG DEAL for me, even if it's only 6 oz and it took me like 3 days worth of pumping - I only do it once a day, in the mornings while she takes her first (sometimes only) morning nap.

With my firstborn I wasn't this lucky, patient, relaxed ... so many factors involved ... so after 5 weeks of doing it and my boy being so hungry that I had to supplement with formula since we left the hospital (the boy was an oz from 9 lbs) I was done. He was hungry all the time, I was drained and the bottle seemed like such an easy way out I gave in and we were happily ever after :) Well ...not really, he had to go to daycare at 2 months old and he got RSV, Croup, Bronchialitis - I'm not even sure how to spell that last one, I've never heard of it until he had it - but it was my first time and that saying that your first child is like the first pancake you make, it's true, isn't it? You learn so much and now that I'm doing this all over again sometimes I wish I could go back and do it all over again with him BUT I know that's just a dumb way of thinking since that's impossible and all I have is my experience and a future ahead to make things better, right?

I remember how everyone from Chile would ask me how my breastfeeding was going and I'd say "Well I'm not doing it anymore" and you could tell they were surprised, no one ever said it but I knew they were thinking it, after all in that society that is what's expected from you as a mother (pretty much in all South America I'd adventure to say) and here wasn't a big deal. Isn't funny how we - as a society - get used to certain things and after a while things that on the other side of the world are very important and unbreakable, where we live are just not a big deal?? and vice versa too. Don't take me wrong here, this is not a judgmental thing at all, this is just a fact that each society has its own costumes and believes, when you come from a different one than the one where you are raising a family sometimes those two oppose and what do you do then?, which one do you take? truth be told, that would depend on which one is more convenient at the time, because we are creatures of habits and people who likes what's convenient for us, during my first time as a Mom I really felt I couldn't do this anymore. I remember I pumped one time when it was feeding time and all I got was may be an Oz from both sides combined so to me that was a pretty clear sign that I didn't have enough to keep my boy well fed and went to formula!!

This time I've enjoyed my time at home even tho I was scared thinking "I'M GONNA BE HOME FOR 4 1/2 MONTHS!! I'm not that type of woman, I'm gonna go insane" You see? I dreamed of being a business woman traveling the world, getting married and having kids WAS NOT a priority on my list! :) so staying at home with my baby - as crazy as it sounds - was a little scary to me. Weeeeeell, let's just say now I'm not looking forward to have to take her somewhere for someone else to take care of her, thankfully my mom is coming to our rescue in the middle of May and I'm praying she stays for longer than 3 months but if not 3 months would be fantastic too!!

Boy am I glad that I wear those undershirts because
I always forget to pull my shirt down after
I feed her as you can see on here ... hehehehehe

I love you my princess!!