My best friend here always prayed for Satan to stay out of her marriage - back in the day when we all had bible study together - and she was the one who had been married longer we all looked at her and giggle a little bit - little I knew what she meant back in those years.
Next month my husband and I will be married for 6 years and I feel the need to pray for this same thing now! Not that things are horrible or there are other parties involved or anything like that, but there's just so many pity things that get on my head, things that are really not important, not life threatening, stupid little things that aggravate me. Do you ever feel like this? And I Know that's what it is, I can hear his stinky little voice in my head going "Claudia? why should you be the one picking this from the floor when he's the one who left it in there?" "you work too" "you are tired too!!" and on and on it goes, I know that's not God talking to me. Few Sundays ago our Pastor said something so true - he said our worst enemy is ourselves and then Satan. I feel like I'm my worst enemy right now, how I allow my mind to get worked up and upset over a stupid apple core that's where I don't think it should be. Is that really THAT important???? Gosh noooo is not ... then why I make such a big deal over it.
I'm in need of something ... not a pill, not a cigarette (although the thought of it sound oh so good --- I haven't done that in years and certainly I don't intend to go back) but to be connected with God, to be in his word, to be on my knees and pray. If you read this and you know God, please pray for me, I want to be the loving wife that I once was (not the witch I've become lately), I want my child not to ever see me cry again but to see my smile and my playful self - that's all a 2 year old should see from his mommy - I'm not sure why I'm writing all this stuff in here - but I just felt the need to let it all out, to be honest with myself and everyone around me, because not everything is perfect, not everything is roses and honey, life is hard, marriage is hard but we are here and it's our duty to make the best out of it, you can chose what your focus in life is, mine is my husband and my son. I used to have a career (that I really didn't care for) I still have a job outside the house but that's not the main reason of my life, my reason for living are my men (my husband and my son) and living a Christian life with them. I'm far from perfect and I have a long way to go on my walk with God but we are here and we are trying, that's what counts.