What we've been up to ...

Once again I find myself with so much to share on here that I really don't know where to start.

E m i l i a

My sweet girl is 8 months, I CAN NOT begin to realize that, I read it, I say it, I see it but I CAN NOT believe it, seems like yesterday I had a sweet little newborn in my arms and now ... boy now I have a non-stop crawler, a companion who stays with me while I cook or fold clothes or put my make up on. (whenever I get to do that :))  She's the sweetest little girl, smiles constantly, crawls around freely, if she wants something she just goes and gets it, she's my little independent child but yet she's the one that stays with me too.
She's clapping, trying to stand, she still LOVES her bath time or any water related activity.  She had her first swimming experience at her brother's 4th birthday party.  She enjoys eating - wouldn't expect it any other way - still nurses in the morning and at night.  Survived her first VERY LONG ride, all the way to DC.  Got on a merry-go-round and held on tight to the post and love every minute of it.  She does not like to get in her car seat and is very clear expressing it too - she has her Momma's ways, we can't hide our emotions :) which is not a bad thing in my opinion.  What you see is what you get.

 Enjoying an apple

N i c o l a s
My sweet boy is 4, far from a baby, a preschooler, before I know it he will be going to Kindergarten, I'm thankful we do have another extra year before that happens, if he had not been born in September he would have started school next year and oh how thankful I am we can postpone that for another year, I am not ready for that day!  Not at all.  Could I home school? hehehehe no I'm not patient enough and he needs to experience real life out there. 

He loves to play with his toys - Toy Story figures, trains, superheroes, pretending we are in the middle of an imaginary world, he talks about his friends that work with him at the farm house - total imaginary - he told me he was going to sing at a show in Applebee's and one of his teachers was going to be the lead singer.  I hope that imagination doesn't stop!  He loves to go places "as a family", he is always asking "where are we going after my nap?" Yes, he still naps and I treasure that :), "are we going as a family?"  He asks me to pick him up at night when he's tired and I still carry him to the couch in the morning where I have his milk ready - one morning I heard him say "but Daddy, when you fix my milk is cold, I like for mommy to fix it for me" goodness I think I've spoiled the boy but hey, isn't that my job? :)  We are only little once and I did treasure my warm milk each morning growing up, I won't tell my kids that I drank from a bottle until I was 4 or 5 years old and no I never needed braces, thank you very much!!

We celebrated his 4th birthday with a pool party, this was the first time he's had a party outside his house and he was so excited, he loves water, he loves to have a birthday, he prays all year long for his birthday - "... and for all the presents I'm gonna get for my birthday" that is his prayer all year long, I've tried to tell him to pray for people, the first time I told him that he said "and God I pray for me!" :)
Some time has been by since then and now he says "and God I pray for a person named ______" which could be anyone, a friend, a teacher, a family member, so at least he's making the effort to include real people in his prayers!

He is still my picky eater, although when you serve him what he likes he could eat it all and more, his favorite foods are spaghetti, bread, boxed mac-n-cheese, chicken nuggets, chicken cooked in any way, green beans, apple sauce and his absolute favorite is breakfast - scramble eggs, sausage and biscuits - he will not eat hot dogs, he had started to like hamburgers as long as it is dipped in ketchup, no veggies, some fruit :( he LOVES milk, he could drink it all the time everyday, just like his mom and dad, when all four of us can drink milk I'm afraid a gallon won't last but a couple of days.

 My men ( Emilia is in her stroller sleeping) at our DC trip

I see my days flying by, I find myself trying to contain my kids from growing any faster than it already feels.  I want my children to be children for a long time.  Not sure I'll succeed this battle but to me is worth fighting it.  In a world that promotes independence, self sufficiency and all this do it yourself type of life, I want to baby my babies as much as I can.  I want to teach them that life is not easy yet I want them to remember the comforts of mom and dad and being at home "as a family". 

This is an "ALL TIME favorite picture", it's blurry but it shows how happy they are together

We all grow too fast, I'm sure my mom still remembers the days when I was my kids' age and here I am now, a mother of two, making the balance act between all of my roles in life, some days are hard, some days are easy but every day is worth it.  The struggles help us to grow, to learn, to try again and we continue to live life the best we can with what we have, which is always way more than what we need.

Family picture at Nicolas' 4th birthday party

When HE talks to me

I love when God uses my children to get my attention.  Here's just one example.

Last night I was having a little bit of a stressful moment when my SWEET 4 year old started singing "When I fall down, HE picks me up .. when I fall down, HE picks me up" as he did the motions falling dramatically on the floor and then cheerfully getting up, I smiled, my stupid stress was just like that ... stupid, why do we do that to our selves?  what does it matter that it was getting late and we were just then eating breakfast for supper and that my 8 month old baby did not want to be sleeping in her crib, instead she wanted to be crawling on the floor and drooling over the silliness of her big brother whom she adores.

So I did, I got her out of her crib, let her crawl some more, admire her brother, we finished eating our breakfast for supper and I asked Nicolas who was HE? - just to double check you know? - he gave me a funny look like "I know you know who HE is but I'll tell you anyway mom" - he answer me by simply saying GOD!

Yes, thank you GOD for speaking to me through my sweet boy.

This morning I was getting a little uptight again, the time ... yes we were late for school AGAIN (Gosh can I not be on time for once, it doesn't matter what time I get up I always end up leaving the house a little too late) but I remembered what Nicolas told me last night and I really didn't want to throw a fit in front of my kids (trust me, it wouldn't have been the first time) so I tried to stay calm, I said a little prayer and off we went, we started singing our kids songs in the car "I'm a skunk, I'm in your trunk and I'm stinking up your automobile" ... now if that doesn't make you smile then it's really a bad day, right? and little ways down the road he asked me "Mommy, are you all better now?" I smiled again and said Yes baby, I'm much better now, he smiled big and we kept on with our singing.  Oh my Nicolas, you are so so so special to me, I know GOD has made us all with a purpose and in His perfect image, I can't wait to see you shine for Him as you already are without even knowing it.

I love you son!

Superheroes!!!!

We've been trying to explain to Nicolas that superheroes are not real, that what you see on TV even though it looks very real is not, Matt told him your toys can't talk, they are not real, Nicolas said "yes they can, look ... " as he pushed the button on Buzz and the little toy talked, Matt told him, ok but he can't answer you questions, look "Buzz, how are you today?" as he pushed the button and buzz answered the same recording phrase.

Matt tried to tell him "real superheroes" are firemen or policemen or nurses or people that do good to others without waiting anything in return, you could tell his little wheels were turning but for the talk we had last night I think we are going to have to reinforce this topic a whole lot more :)
 

Me:  "Nicolas, is there anything you would like to talk about tonight?"
Nicolas: "Uhm ... superheroes!!!"

Me: "Ok ... what do you like about Superheroes?"
N: "When I grow up I want to be one ..."

M: oh really?
N: Yes I want to be the kind that flies!!!!!!

M: Oh I wish I could fly too, that way I could go visit my mom in Chile whenever I feel like seeing her. (Mom has been with us for 3 months and a week, she's leaving this coming Sat)
N: YEAH MOMMY, I LIKE THAT TOO!!   I'm going to wear shoes and looooong socks!  What are you going to wear mommy?

M: Uhm, boots (I'm thinking about wonder woman, man I wish I could have her little waist!)
N: What else?
M: a cape
N: What else?
M: gloves

N: MOMMY I LOVE YOU!!!
M: I love you too my boy!!

Welcome to my drama moment

Do you ever feel pulled in every direction? 

Do you ever realized that you feel that way 

because YOU put that upon yourself?

Do you love so much that it hurts?

Do you which you had more hours in the day 

to spend it with those you love?

Do you ever let the guilt take over your good spirits and every thought you have ends up in a guilt trip you put yourself through?

You do? it stinks doesn't it

The good news is that after this melodrama plays in your head and you've had a good cry in public and everyone at the restaurant is looking at you, men look at you with that "I feel sorry for your husband" look and women look at you with a "Gosh she could at least waited 'til she got in her car to do it" look you begin to see the light and you realized you are just tired and the queen of drama queens and is nothing that you haven't been through before and nothing that a good ice cream bar wouldn't fixed.

So after having my good cry in public and in the car and in the bathroom at work and at my desk ... yes I cried a lot ... after eating my ice cream bar, after crying to my coworker and confidant, after praying (why do we do this at last, although I did kinda pray while I was crying out loud in my car but it wasn't really a prayer it was more like a "God Why Does It Have To Be This Way!!" and God tells you, do you remember your friend who's husband been in the hospital for four weeks??? YES THAT'S A DRAMA to ask Why Me not your silly pity party) and after I got calmed enough to blog about it I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.

Having that kind a day too, don't feel lonely ... we all have them!

Great 4th

Did you have a good 4th?
We sure did!!
As any great long weekend I'm wore out
so this is all I can do for now,
may be in a few days I'll have enough energy
to put a post with more words in it

From The Mouth of My Boy!!

This past Sunday Nicolas and I went to church by ourselves and there was no one to keep Mission Friends so he went with me into "big church" and let me tell you it was a treat, aside from the fact that it was only me and him together, no husband, no baby, just US!! he was so sweet and funny.

Nicolas: "Mommy, where is Pastor Mike?"
Me: Well he's away on a Mission Trip
N: Is he gone bathtizing people?
M: (wow son I love how you are putting all this together) Uhm yes I'm hoping some get bathtize this week where he is!

As the service began, music started playing and he said:
"Mommy, I don't want you to sing"
My response? I'm sorry son, Mommy loves to sing so I'm going to sing but if you don't feel like singing you don't have to do it.  He just looked at me and said OK.

Later the young pastor that was preaching started his sermon, he said "Jesus did ..." and Nicolas open his big eyes and said "So what did JESUS DO NOW???" almost like HE got in trouble or something, the people sitting behind us were having a blast with my little commentary :) and I did too!!

We kissed and hugged, he sat on my lap, he colored, ate some goldfish, sat on my lap again.  In the midst of all this he whispered in my ear "Mommy we ARE chapelling" and smiled big.
After that I realized there was a couple who has twins that are about the age of my son and they weren't with them so I figured someone must of been taking care of the children so I asked Nicolas if he would like to go back there and of course he said yes, as we were leaving he turned around, stood right in the middle of the door and gave bye, that young pastor must of made quite an impression on my little boy!  I love how is mind is thinking, I love how he can't get quite and has to ask so many question (yes sometimes I get tired but I love his curiosity!).

OH HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU MY BOY!!

It's been a loooong time

Wow a LOT has happened since the last time I sat down to update on this blog, let's on even talk about the last time I posted something on my other blog but anyway, let's see ... that day after Nicolas and I had our date, well Nana had an accident and broke her leg right in front of our eyes, there I found myself with my baby, my toddler, my nephew and Poppie, trying to stay calm and figuring out what to do, my nephew lost it, Nicolas just looked confused and tried to calm his cousin down, my baby girl just sat tight in her car seat enjoying the view of the outdoors as any baby her age would, Poppie and I were trying to see what to do, he has a bad back and there is no way I could pull Nana up all by myself so we started calling everyone and as it is in these cases, no one answer, we were about to call the ambulance when I finally found somebody and Matt came flying in, neighbors came too and off they went to the hospital.
That weekend my mom came, YES my MOM is HERE!!!!! 

This sweet encounter took place at the airport where we were anxiously waiting for these two to meet!!!  I think their smiles say it all, right?  "Abuelita" is here, Nicolas and Emilia can't get enough of her, Nicolas knows that when I tell him he needs to wait for me to get his juice or start his bath or whatever it is he wants he calls Abuelita and his wish is made in an instant ...  I know, one day I'll be a grandmother too and I'll be spoiling my grand kids just as she is doing with our children :)

It's been a blessing - a huge one - to have my mom here but the fact that Emilia got dedicated while Mom's here is even bigger (Thank you Lord for doing all this for us).  Yes our baby girl got dedicated with a bunch of other children from our church, she did well, she looked adorable and she got a cold after wearing her fancy dress with no onesie underneath too.

On Mother's day 2007 Nicolas got dedicated, back then he was the only baby, he was 8 months old and he had his "shining" moment when our Pastor put the oil on him he made this sweet sound and the whole church heard him, they smiled and awwwed (that's not a word I know!!).  Emilia had her sweet moment too, although this time the whole congregation couldn't hear her because she wasn't the only one (guess she knows this is how it is when you are the 2nd child) but she did made the sweetest cooing sound when she got anointed!!  Nicolas was concerned if the oil was going to hurt sister, then when he touched her forehead he said "Eeewww ... it's all in my hands mommy!!"  oh brotherly love, there's nothing like it.

Speaking of that, Nicolas has been super sweet to his little sister, he loves to do goofy things in front of her because she looks at him and smiles so big, I love to see them "playing" sweetly together because I know this won't last and before I know it they will be big and probably not so nice to one another.

 I love how he has his arm around her on this picture because I didn't suggested it, he just did it!! :)

  Emilia is growing extremely fast these days, she has started to eat her cereal, she's now enjoying food, her first food was  Butternut Squash and she loved it, she also has enjoyed sweet potato and let's just say green beans is not in her favorite list so far, my mom mixed it with carrots today and she enjoyed it much better.

I got the feeling she'll be a better eater than brother (I can only pray so) 

Nicolas used to eat great, any fruit of vegetable you put in front of him he would devour 

but as he got older he's SOOO PICKY now :(

  Emilia is finally enjoying belly time (this brings so many memories from when Nicolas was this age, I have an all-time-favorite picture of him from this stage), she loves to look around and discover the world around her, when I put her on the floor she manages to turn around and look at the TV when brother is watching, I believe this will be a battle I'll have with my children all my life, they don't need to know I used to be glued to the TV too when I was a child!!  Does this mean I don't need to be worried because I turned out ok? naaaa I still want to be a "KILL YOUR TV MOM" :)  

 

  She also enjoys looking at books, which is what I'm pulling for Books Books and more Books!! We'll see how successful I am this second time, Nicolas does love story time at night but I just wish he didn't like TV so much!  It's been an answer to prayer that our DVD player in the car only works a few times so all of the sudden we have to do without and to be honest, unless we have to make a long way trip I don't want to replace it because is so much nicer to be able to talk to Nicolas and enjoy our time together in the car than to try to talk to him when he's not listening!

There's so much in my mind that I wish I could spend a whole day just typing up my thoughts but I'll have time for that one day when my children are grown and they don't want to be with me all the time, I know one day I'm going to miss that little voice calling me "moooommy".  My mom says we should count how many times a day Nicolas calls me, I'm really tempted to do it :)  

Well believe it or not it has taken me DAYS to put this post together so if something doesn't make sense I'm sorry, this is the best I can do with life right now.

To close this post filled with info from here and there, what's better than one of my favorite pictures with my baby girl.

   See ya next time!

Mommy & Son Date

Since Nicolas had been so defiant lately I've been reading and talking to good friends - I'm blessed to have a close friend in Chile who is a Children Psychologist - everyone and everything pointed that Nicolas behavior is normal and he just wants his mommy for himself as he was so used to have me just for him for the first 3 and a half years of his life.  So I planned for us to have a "Mommy & Son Date" which took place yesterday afternoon.  We talked about this earlier in the week and I told him we could go anywhere he wanted to, he chose the Kids Museum down town so I left Emilia with her Nana and Poppie and got my boy, who was beyond excited to see me because he knew what was coming.  Just me and him again!

We had a wonderful time at the museum, there was nobody there, the place was for us and another little girl that was there with her daddy.  We played and played and played.  They have added a new baby section at the museum so we went and he was loving the babies, he took one out and asked me to get one and we put our babies in their strollers and we took them around the museum with us, everywhere we went they were with us (writing this makes me understand why my back was killing me last night, bending over go push that tiny stroller is what did it).  We took them to the dentist, we bake them apple pies, we showed him the post office and the waterfall :)  It was so much fun to be alone with him, not having to worry when sister is going to wake up to eat, how much longer we have before our moment is interrupted and all that, this was just a relaxing afternoon for both of us!  No worries, just playtime!!

No outing to Main St. is complete unless you go to our favorite bakery to get a cookie, which is more Icing than cookie, so there we went when we were done, he had a penguin (yes black icing - not so cute - ) and I had a cookie monster ha ha ha (total pig).  After that he asked me if we could pleeeeeeeaseeeeee go to the toy store, so of course we did, I told him we were not going there to buy anything but just to look around and play with toys.  He did see some rubber toys and we bought two lizards, at .50 each I thought Why Not! 

Our outing ended with a sweet visit to Nicolas' favorite teacher so far, he adores her.  She just had a baby girl so we stopped by her house and met the cute little one, Nicolas had a chance to snuggle and get loving from this sweet woman who loves him so much!!  She even let him draw a picture on this precious guest book she had for people to sign, he got a whole page for himself, can you see how much she loves him!

She said "Yes!! a picture of me and my babies"

What can I say, this was a very special day for Nicolas and I.  I'd love to do this more often and can't wait until I have this 'dates' with my Emilia.  So much fun!!

I LOVE YOU SON!!!

 

What a poopy day

Yesterday was just a bad day - from beginning to end - If you go to church on Sundays and you have little ones at home you know is a stressful day.  So far we've been managing pretty good but yesterday we started to run behind since it was Breakfast at church, that means activities start earlier than usual but our day started at the same time.  I didn't think we were going to make it and I didn't get anything to eat, this I realized on the way to church so that made me upset (shocker!), I was hungry, tired which reflects on total moodiness.    God called me woman of little faith as we walk in and there's plenty of food and room to sit, we made it on time! :)

Our Sunday School lesson was on marriage and how we go on seasons of good times and bad times, well when you have a little baby and a defiant preschooler, a mom who's staying at home and a dad who's handling new stressful stuff at work, let's just say our season is not very bubbly nor exciting right now.  When you openly talk about it is hard ...

We got home and I had a meltdown - yes just like my son does - only that this came from an adult woman UGH!  what about it, ha!  Needless to say an argument came along too, I'm telling you it was a bad day!
We did managed to take naps, all four of us, which was so good and thanks to my husband I was able to sleep longer.  (the men of the house went down just in time for the young girl of the house decided it was time to eat, so us girls didn't go down 'til later).

Our son has been in a hyper mood lately which quickly transform into a major meltdown for which I have zero tolerance (I need to work on this really hard!) and so the snow ball begins to grow and things get pretty bad!  Matt took him outside and then they walk to Nana and Poppies' house which gave Emilia and I some alone time, which was nice.  Thanks again honey!

Every time I walked into Nicolas' room I kept smelling something bad, I knew it couldn't be poop, he is potty train, couldn't find the source, went back again ... look around (should have looked harder) and found a dirty underwear in his hamper so I thought I had found it (lately he's been wanting to do everything by himself, including wiping himself after using the toilet) and didn't think twice about it anymore!  Night time came, I gave him a shower (he's a shower lover now) and was very excited - too excited - that he felt and hit his arm, major melt down again, I didn't loose it this time for I knew it was an accident and he was hurting (I'm not that horrible), we started over, normal shower, little girl wanted to eat so dad took over and got him ready.  It was time to drink milk and read a story so I went and straighten up his bed - like I do every night, I should do it in the morning but I don't - and to my surprise ...
...
...
I found a little "gift" on the bed

You guessed it ...

it was poop!

I'm telling you it was a bad day from beginning to end, I was glad when both kids were asleep and I folded clothes while laughing at Family Guy (yes it's a bad show but I laugh so hard when I get to watch it and boy I needed a good laugh last night)

Thank God not every day is like this.  Of course you know what I pray about yesterday "Lord I want your JOY to be enough for me" ... I have a LOOONG way to go my friends!

Gotta try again today! 

Life with two

I remember when I was expecting Emilia how worried I was about Nicolas, how his life was going to change, how was I going to be able to share my time and love to my two kids (I still feel kinda old when I say "the kids" I don't know why but I do), little I knew that shouldn't been my worry.  Noooo ... my worry should have been how are you going to have a mind to remember everything you need to do and take with you anytime you go somewhere with your two kids!!  Phew ...

Let's rewind a little, Nicolas is 3 1/2 so he's old enough that if he wants to take a toy or anything he just goes and grabs it, I can tell him "get your jacket son" and he goes and does it (when he's willing to do so) but with a baby, I remember the first day we went out (Her 1st Doctor's appointment) I was getting out the door without a diaper bag, I totally forgot I needed one of those again :).  Don't worry I've come a long way since that 1st day, I do keep a diaper bag (actually is just a big purse now, I don't use a diaper bag anymore) in the car (I won't tell you that sometimes I forget to "reload" the diapers or wipes) in the car at all times, I have another one to take to my mother-in-law when she keeps Emilia every once in a while if I have an appointment or anything like that.

Now going out to the grocery store - all FOUR of us - is a different story.  We've only done it once and I don't see it happening any time soon, I really like to do things my way and in my time (you know you are the same way).  That time we had to take two buggies because E's car seat was so big at the time - we had switched to Nicolas' old car seat now - that I couldn't put her on the front of the buggy but inside of it so there was no room for many groceries, Matt took Nicolas in his buggy I had Emilia on mine, we had to divide the list - which to me was such a  task - I do my list in the order of the aisles, I know I have a little "MONK" in me sometimes (I should have it for the cleaning part of my life but unfortunately I don't) and then you have to time it right with her feedings, you know if Nicolas is hungry is actually better, we get some pop corn chicken and juice and that keeps him occupied, if Emilia gets hungry Weeeell shopping experience is a disaster or it needs to an  "aborted mission" all together, I do go everywhere with my "UdderCover" but there is just something about Wal-Mart that prevents me from feeding my daughter there :)

So far going to church has been easy, as long as I get up early enough to get everyone ready and going out to eat works great as long as we - again - time it right!

I guess after all is not really that bad, it just takes getting use to doing the baby thing again when you were so used to having a child old enough that he can do so much for himself, sometimes too much.  He wants to do everything by himself and there are things that I'm not ready to do unsupervised, anything that has to do with cleaning (teeth, hair, bathing, wiping) I do let him do it but I go right behind him to check or have my turn to do it too.

In other news
- Nicolas has been moved up to a class for "big kids", he now has circle time and show-n-tell which he's so excited about.  We went to get his hair cut the other day and he was telling the girls at the salon all about his circle time of that day.  This morning before he left for pre-school he asked "Mommy! is today the day for show-n-tell??" :)  We were talking about that yesterday, I was explaining to him what that was and what was expected from him, we'll see how it works, oh how I wish I could hide in his room and hear him talk during his daily activities. He's such a talker, sometimes I have to remind him that he needs to give a turn for everyone to talk because if it was up to him we could just hear him talk 24/7, specially when he's excited!
He has been showing signs of defiance, if I tell him to not do something he looks at me - like I'm not really there - and does it and then when we are trying to correct him he gets this green on his face which drives me nuts SO I big warning was given to him the other night by his Daddy and I guess it worked because we didn't see any of it yesterday, now I know it'll happen again and I'll have to remind Daddy of the punishment offered at the time so we can keep our word.

-Emilia is cooing and smiling all the time and we LOVE it, she has discovered her hands, which she loves to hold right into her mouth, she drools a lot which reminded me that Nicolas got his 1st tooth at 4 months so may be she'll do the same? who knows ... since I'm breastfeeding her I think I'll be fine if she doesn't have any teeth until later on but again is not on my timing so whatever it is, it is!   She's been sleeping good for a baby her age, she's a little clock depending on what time she goes down.  If she goes down around 9:30 -10:00 I know for a fact she'll wake up at 2:30 and then at 5:30 if she goes down at 11:00 she'll wake up at 4:30 and then around 7 so it works pretty good that I know how many hours of sleep I'll get each night, so far so good!  I know that this great pattern changes whenever the teething time comes but I don't want to think about that for now.  She had her 2 months check up and is doing great, she is now 12 Lbs 8 Oz and 23 1/2 inches long so she's on the 75% - 90%  which has never meant much for me because that's just comparing her with all the rest of the children and she's her own individual.  I can tell she's normally growing so whatever percentile she's in it's fine with me! She got her shots and had a lot of fever but even with that she slept well.

Ok this is all for now ... longer post than I expected but since I haven't been in my blog in weeks ... here was your update! :)

My son reminding me of me

Ever since Emilia has been born I look at Nicolas and I can not believe how big he is, he had reminded me of me so much this past week, it's amazing.  

The other day him and his dad went to "Nana's House" (probably just to give me a break) and when they got back he brought me two flowers - one of those was the yellow ones that Dogs normally pee on - that's what my mom used to call them and that brought back immediate memories. It took me back to my front yard, a sunny day, playing outside and cutting those yellow flowers for my mom, how she made me feel so special by putting them on water like they were the prettiest she had ever seen.  I could see that window on the kitchen with a little cup where that special flower found its last days :) but in my child mind it was just a very special place for it to be so my mom could see it when she did her work.  So as my boy gave me this precious flower I made a big deal and put it on a little cup with water on my kitchen window.  The other flower was smaller and that one was for his sister. 

Last Thursday he went to the movies for the first time ever.  "How To Train Your Dragon" was the chosen movie that him, his dad and cousin went to see.  At first Nicolas didn't want to go, his first reaction to anything new is NO but it didn't take much convincing after I told him they have big bags of popcorn at the movies, so his speech of "Nooo I don't like going to the movies" changed into "Daddy, when we go to the movies tomorrow we have to get our big bag of popcorn".  I was a little nervous because I know my boy gets easily scared - or he likes to pretend that he is - so I packed his bag pack with some juice box and his blankie but of course my husband didn't use it, he said he had to "man up" :)  I'd totally taken the bag with me into the movies and gotten it out at the first sign of fear, guess is a good thing he went with his daddy and not me :)  When they got there the first thing he thing he told Matt was "Daddy! I don't want to
share my popcorn" so Matt got an empty cup and pour some of the popcorn into his own cup so he was happy then, when his cup was empty he got up and went to refill it from his cousin's bag without even asking, you know when you are 3 and you feel everything should be yours without even asking.  Colby - our nephew - didn't say a word but kept looking at Matt with a "help me" look.  Matt also said Nicolas asked him when was this movie going to be over, half way through the movie, that's when he got up and sat on his lap.  Over all a good experience and I'm so excited because this summer all three of us we are going to watch Toy Store 3. Can not wait!!

This reminded me of my first time to the movies, I was older than Nicolas, I was probably 7 or 8.  I went to watch "My friend Max", my cousin went with me and it was fun, we walked to the theater together, it was like a big girl event. I even remember what I was wearing, you know like we girls do.

Nicolas is so sensitive, while he was watching Toy Story 2 the other day - one of the many times he had watched it - he was getting very sad (you know when Jessie remembers how her life used to be when Emily was her owner), so sad to the point of tears.  I sat with him and told him it was only a movie and there was no reason to be sad, he said "but Mommy Jessie is sad and that makes me sad" ... this reminded me of when I was little I used to watch this cartoon called "Heidi" which was nothing but a soap for kids, her life was so sad and I remember watching the TV and crying because Heidi's life was just so sad.  

 Heidi and her dog niebla

Oh my boy ... you have a lot of your mother in you!!

I LOVE YOU!!!!

7 years!!

Seven years ago I took the biggest step of my life, I left everything and everyone for the man that I loved and still love and will forever love!

Matt and I got married 3 times - yes 3 times - twice in Chile and once here seven years ago! We had a civil ceremony on April 3th, we had our church wedding and reception on April 5th (this is the one we use as our official anniversary) and we also got married here in early May (can you tell by then I wasn't keeping track of the date?).

I remember the certainty I felt when I marry this man, how sure I was (and I am still today) that we were meant to be together and I always tell Matt, if I had not come as an exchange student or if he had gone to college or if anything would had been different we would still be together somehow because God made us both for one another!

Matt was the 3rd child, the unplanned one so was I, I wasn't the 3rd, I'm the only child of a single mom so of course I wasn't planned either but God knew :D

Seven years ...

I still can't believe it's been that long ... that fast ... how in seven years we went from a couple to a family of four.

I thought I should post those special memories I have from this seven years, before I have Alzheimer and forget it all (Matt always says when I'm an old woman I may even forget how to speak English hahahahaha) so here we go:

Our Wedding Day! ~ It was a warm sunny day, early Fall in Chile. Sky totally blue, not one cloud just the ones I was walking on :) cheesy I know but that's how I felt :)

The first day at our house ~ we flew up here a few days after our wedding, our house looked so cute, nice, new, I couldn't believe I was married and we had a house. Our walls have never been painted (except our kids' rooms) so they still look the same they did when I first walked into this house, ok well ... they have some marks now ... I KNOW we need to paint them, one day we will :)

I'll never forget it snowed in April that year, probably by the 2nd or 3rd day I've been here we got a considerable amount of snow, I felt totally betrayed as my husband promised me I was going to be in gorgeous spring weather ha ha ha

Our many trips ~ We went to the beach, San Francisco, Playa del Carmen, Chile. It was so nice to travel by ourselves, hopefully we'll do it again in a few years when our kids are old enough that we can comfortably leave them with someone else (Ok may be not comfortably because I'm that kind of mom but you know what I mean).

The adjustments of those first years ~ I remember trying to figured out how to do this together, Matt and I didn't date for a long time before we got married, we knew we love each other and that was all we needed to take this step but your everyday stuff, daily routines and habits, that was hard!! I remember asking Matt to put together a desk we got as a present, I must of asked him a couple of times in the same week and he came home one day so mad and said "Don't ever asked me twice to do something" so I didn't :) Proof of that is a picture we got as a wedding gift that sat on the floor by the wall for months before it got hang, he thought I didn't like it that's why he never hang it he said :). I remember cleaning on Saturdays until one beautiful sunny day I said "I'm done wasting my Sat. on cleaning, let's go somewhere, let's do something" ha ha ha.
I remember having breakfast together in the mornings when neither one of us really talked, we just sat at the table and ate our breakfast in silence, needless to say we are not morning people.
Looking back I have so many memories like this, figuring out how we wanted to live our lives as a couple. Thank goodness those years have passed because they were not easy but they were necessary I know that.

Our Dates ~ We used to go to the movies every weekend that first year we were married, it was our dating time since we didn't date much before. It was so much fun, going out to eat and to the movies (boy we must have spend a lot of money doing that but I'm glad we did because now with two kids budget has changed he he he).

I also remember the day Matt came home and said "I think it's time for us to have children". 4 months later we were expecting :) Of course I remember the day we had Nicolas and even tho it turned out to be one of those scary stories you don't want to share with first time moms all I can taste now is the sweetness of that day, holding him for the first time, feeling the warmth of his little body, hearing his first cry. Now with our second one I had to do some convincing but it did happened too and here we are.

Our last picture before we had Nicolas and all 3 of us on our 1st family vacation

Our last picture before we had Emilia


Emilia and her daddy

What I love the most about Matt is his sense of humor, how we can laugh with our irony. I love how he puts up with my emotional drama - which has been VERY present lately for the obvious reasons - how he understands me and brings me back to my center.

Thank you honey!!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!

This year we both forgot it was our anniversary, days with a little baby run all together and you don't keep up with the date so as soon as I heard this woman on the news "Good Morning, on this April 5th ..." about fell off the bed and quickly called Matt to ask him what date was today and then he remembered too ... we both laughed!

These two pictures are from my top favorite ones of the men that I Adore!!

Big Deal

I don't mean it ironically but completely honest and excited, yes it is a Big Deal!! I come from a society where breastfeeding isn't optional, no one ask you "so are you going to try to breastfeed?", in my country of origin there is just no way around it, unless your baby has a problem with your milk or you are one of the very few who doesn't have enough supply then you put them on formula, so the fact that this time around I have good milk to feed my princess it's a BIG DEAL!!!

The fact that I was able to freeze my first little bag of milk yesterday was a BIG DEAL for me, even if it's only 6 oz and it took me like 3 days worth of pumping - I only do it once a day, in the mornings while she takes her first (sometimes only) morning nap.

With my firstborn I wasn't this lucky, patient, relaxed ... so many factors involved ... so after 5 weeks of doing it and my boy being so hungry that I had to supplement with formula since we left the hospital (the boy was an oz from 9 lbs) I was done. He was hungry all the time, I was drained and the bottle seemed like such an easy way out I gave in and we were happily ever after :) Well ...not really, he had to go to daycare at 2 months old and he got RSV, Croup, Bronchialitis - I'm not even sure how to spell that last one, I've never heard of it until he had it - but it was my first time and that saying that your first child is like the first pancake you make, it's true, isn't it? You learn so much and now that I'm doing this all over again sometimes I wish I could go back and do it all over again with him BUT I know that's just a dumb way of thinking since that's impossible and all I have is my experience and a future ahead to make things better, right?

I remember how everyone from Chile would ask me how my breastfeeding was going and I'd say "Well I'm not doing it anymore" and you could tell they were surprised, no one ever said it but I knew they were thinking it, after all in that society that is what's expected from you as a mother (pretty much in all South America I'd adventure to say) and here wasn't a big deal. Isn't funny how we - as a society - get used to certain things and after a while things that on the other side of the world are very important and unbreakable, where we live are just not a big deal?? and vice versa too. Don't take me wrong here, this is not a judgmental thing at all, this is just a fact that each society has its own costumes and believes, when you come from a different one than the one where you are raising a family sometimes those two oppose and what do you do then?, which one do you take? truth be told, that would depend on which one is more convenient at the time, because we are creatures of habits and people who likes what's convenient for us, during my first time as a Mom I really felt I couldn't do this anymore. I remember I pumped one time when it was feeding time and all I got was may be an Oz from both sides combined so to me that was a pretty clear sign that I didn't have enough to keep my boy well fed and went to formula!!

This time I've enjoyed my time at home even tho I was scared thinking "I'M GONNA BE HOME FOR 4 1/2 MONTHS!! I'm not that type of woman, I'm gonna go insane" You see? I dreamed of being a business woman traveling the world, getting married and having kids WAS NOT a priority on my list! :) so staying at home with my baby - as crazy as it sounds - was a little scary to me. Weeeeeell, let's just say now I'm not looking forward to have to take her somewhere for someone else to take care of her, thankfully my mom is coming to our rescue in the middle of May and I'm praying she stays for longer than 3 months but if not 3 months would be fantastic too!!

Boy am I glad that I wear those undershirts because
I always forget to pull my shirt down after
I feed her as you can see on here ... hehehehehe

I love you my princess!!

Eating Crow

You know when you make a statement about a certain situation that you really don't understand how so and so can do this and that because you know things could be done different???? hahahaha yes we have all done it, right?

This is the story of me - a mother of two - who used to think that you did not spoiled your baby by rocking it to sleep each night because you could control that, it was your job as a mother to just let them cry if it was needed so you didn't have to rock them. My mom used to tell me about my cousin who has a girl and how she had to rock her to sleep each night because otherwise my niece would not go to sleep. My experience with Nicolas was not like that at all, all I had to do was to put him down in his crib and he did go to sleep on his own, yes he cried sometimes just a little but nothing major and it always worked ... WELL let me tell you with my daughter things are TOTALLY different, she would not - I REPEAT would not - go to sleep unless we rock her, unless she has her paci in her mouth, unless all the stars are lined up in perfect balance and the world moves a certain way (by Golly that's what it seems like some nights) so now I'm eating crow. Doesn't taste really good but I'm getting used to its flavor :)

In the mid time I'm going to continue the rocking, the holding, the singing and the moving around with her in my arms because if that's what it takes well that's what needs to be done so there's not much option.

All I can say is that "each child is different" is an understatement, my kids are already total opposites (beside the fact that they are boy and girl). Nicolas never needed to be rocked to sleep, she does. He took nothing to go to sleep, she takes the world to go to sleep. He used to wake up very often at night, she can sleep up to 4 hours (when I'm lucky even 5) without interruptions. He hated the pacifier, she ADORES her paci. He hated his bath when he was a tiny baby, she could be in the middle of a crying fit but you put her in the bath and she is the calmest baby ever. Ok so now I'm gonna stop this because my mom used to compare me with my cousin (since I didn't have siblings) and I hated that so I gotta stop this and not make it a habit, at least not a public one :)

In other news .. we did make it to church for the first time, all four of us. Since Emilia was born, only the men of the house were attending church. It wasn't as hard as I thought since I got up early and got everyone ready to go. (how do you do it with 4 or 5 kids??? whew ... can't imagine), we even made it to Sunday school and lunch out and a baby shower ... I learned that day that a 5 week old baby does not need to be involved in so many activities in one day because she did not sleep all day, not at all ... she did for a few minutes and then she woke up. By the time Sunday was over, she was totally wore out, uncomfortable and so were we, that's why yesterday we slept literally all day and she still slept good at night.
Don't worry princess we'll take it easy next Sunday, I promise!

So that's life for us ... how's yours going?

Pictures!!!!!!

I'm finally taking time to post some pictures on here. My house is a wreck, I should be cleaning or sleeping but instead I'm drooling over this pictures, much more fun than sleeping or cleaning, right?

Enjoy!

Holding on to Daddy minutes after being born.

First time Nicolas held his sister ... the first of bizillion times already.

Enjoying the arms of uncle David at the hospital on Day 2.

First outing, her trip to the doctor, Day 5

First smile on camera at day 6

In deep thought, day 9


After her first bath, day 12

Brotherly Love, Day 20

She's here and a horrible earthquake came too!

Well our sweet Emilia is 2 weeks and 2 days today!! She's a doll, eats wonderfully, I have been blessed with more milk this second time around, she sleeps well for 3, 4 or sometimes more hours at a time --- as long as she is close to her daddy or me --- she loves her paci and have her face covered with a small blankie. Looking back I remember Nicolas hated the paci, never had to rock him (or I had forgotten already) ... I'm assuming we girls are "Needy" from the beginning ... hahaha or we can just say we require more attention from birth :)

The hardest thing so far has been to recognize my new boy, yes he's like a different person now, he's still sweet (too sweet with sister, to the point that kissing her every 5 minutes gets on mommy's nerves) but he has become this loud, run everywhere ... never calm anymore boy! The first days I cried a lot because I wanted my calm boy back, I told Matt "I want my boy back the way he used to be" and my wise husband told me "honey, we'll never be the way we used to be, our family has now changed and we are all adjusting" which is so true. (hormones I hate you ... leave me alone soon).

Monday through Friday are easy days for me since is just us girls at home, we get to sleep late, since we wake up at 5ish in the morning, we watch TV, we have our morning talks and enjoy ourselves by being close together!! The 'boys' leave us around 7:30 to go to school and work and they get back around 6, then the hard part of the day starts, Nicolas is all hyper when he gets home, specially if we have company, Emilia starts her fussy hour, we try to eat together, we managed to do that a few times last week as some wonderful friends and family brought us supper so we had some "normal" time sitting at the table, enjoying our evening ... many of those times Emilia was eating while I was eating too :) but you do what can to have your family all together!

Weekends?! crazy ... we have to find something for Nicolas to go and do because staying home all day is just not an option anymore, add the rough weather and is not easy but it'll get better as she grows older, weather gets better and we are all more used to our family of four dynamics!

And now ... what has been breaking my heart since Saturday morning ... the earthquake in Chile. I watched the Chilean channel for a while on Friday night, there's a big festival that goes on this time of year (summer time right now) and enjoyed singers and bands that I haven't seen in a while, it was fun, it was nostalgic, it made me feel I wish I was there. Little I knew what I was going to see on that same channel the next morning when my sweet Emilia woke me up just in time to see live news from there as only an hour has been since the big earthquake happened there, because of that I was able to call and get in touch with family right away. Because it was so early in the morning the lines were not collapse yet, a lot of people around the world probably didn't know yet of what just happened and oh my what just happened ... there are no words to describe!!!!!!!!!! Put aside the fact that my mom and family are there, the level of destruction, desperation, chaos, needs, a feeling of no hope at all ... I don't know what words to use, when you see a whole town washed out by the waves that came right after the earthquake (8.8 that lasted two and a half minutes at 3:30 am). Last night all the networks came together and they did a telethon, they double their goal as every person, company, industry, citizen (even those who had nothing gave something ... amazing!) gave money to start rebuilding emergency housing for so many who have no where to sleep, nothing to eat, nothing to wear but have each other and at this point and always that's all it counts.

There's one lady I heard on TV that said, as she was crying "We lost everything, everything ... but thank God we are alive and my hands are healthy and ready to keep working", the first time I heard that I cried because she reminded me of one of my aunts, that's the spirit that's in the people I come from, hard working, never bending, always ready to keep fighting no matter how tough the road gets, putting God first ... we keep going!

It took a few days to be able to get in touch with my mom, but we finally spoke and half of our conversation were just tears, tears of emotions kept covered so we wouldn't lose our minds while we had to wait to hear each others voice, tears of gratefulness for what God did as she protected her and ALL my family (I've talked to many who told me they couldn't make it out of their bed because everything was moving so much, mom got up and walked all the way to her back patio, to one corner and then to the next as she was holding on to a wall that later collapse, didn't get a scratch as she walked barefooted on a floor filled with pieces of glass and broken dishes, not one scratch ... ), tears of fighting the thoughts of what if "the worse" had happened, Mom told me she thought she was going to dye, along with everyone else I've talked to, she said she looked up on the sky and told God she was ready if He decided this was her time, she asked him for forgiveness for her sins and close her eyes as she prepared to what she thought was her death, can you imagine????? In my 33 years I've never experience anything like that, I have no words except gratefulness for her to be alive!!

Few Days Away

So the time has come where I can count the days with a single digit until our girl gets here.

What have we been doing?

other than hating the bad weather but taking advantage of that down time as a family ... well, let's see:

1) We finally put the crib together - I laugh at this because we were looking at Nicolas' pictures from when he was a baby and my pregnancy with him and 2 months ahead of time or may be 1 1/2 months ahead we had his room TOTALLY READY. Yeap and we are a few days from bringing her home and there are still little details that are not ready yet, oh how we change from one child to the next. :)

2) We've been trying to spend a lot of time with Nicolas as his parents will no longer be only his starting next Monday. He knows the time is coming soon, he keeps saying he will be a Big Brother - although I know he doesn't fully understand what that means but he seems excited about the whole thing. The other night when we were putting the crib together he wanted to get out of his bath, wet and all, to come see it. I promise you these are his exact words "Mommy!! I bet it looks so beautiful!!"

3) I'm aching more and more by the end of the day, to the point that getting up from the bed requires my hubby to help me up :)

4) We have 3 birthday parties this week, don't worry we won't attend all of them. We'll try to do 2 out of the 3, I'll let you know how it goes. One is on Thursday evening which we are definitely going - unless the weather doesn't collaborate - and the other one is on Sat. afternoon, at an indoor pool place, yes I plan on be brave and get on a bathing suit 2 days before I have my daughter, just because I love water and if I did it with Nicolas in my belly - when I looked like a royal cow - surely I can do it this time when I think I look better, right?
If you know me and plan on being there you are welcome to look away if you feel the need, won't hurt my feelings at all, whatever rock your boat is fine with me. :)

5) Nicolas and I have had some pretty interesting conversations like this one, the other day as we were on our way home from preschool, he said:
- "Mommy? did you get bathtize?" I told him yes, he asked the same thing about his daddy, I said yes. I asked him if he had talked about bathtism at school, he said no. Then he got quite and later he said:
- "but I'm a big boy I don't need to get BATHtize". I said "well is actually the opposite, when you are a bigger boy you will feel it in your heart and you can decide when you are ready to be BATHtize", he said:
- "oh yeah yeah ... when I'm bigger I'll get BATHtize".

I'll never know where that came from but I do know his brain is thinking about deep stuff and I love it as he is still a silly funny little guy too!! He also told me last night "Mommy oh how do I love you" - needless to say I started crying, I'm glad the lights were off so he wouldn't see me but those sweet words just melt my heart and of course I'm pregnant and sensitive, although my husband can tell you - pregnant or not tears come down pretty easily for me - I keep telling him is good therapy! :)


6) Matt and I are hoping to go out to eat this weekend since after Monday it'll be harder to find someone to watch a baby and a 3+ year old boy. We will continue to make the effort because it is important to us but we are no day dreamers (although I do a lot of that myself) we know it gets harder as you have more than one child.

7) We had started the "fireproof your marriage bible study" and so far it has gone great, by that I don't mean we haven't argue or I haven't cried or anything like that, I mean we are doing it, we take the time to sit and read together and it had lead us to great discussions as a couple. The challenge will be when Emilia is here ... this is why we started, so we could "protect" our marriage for the tough times ahead. Let's be honest, when you have a newborn at home and you add the lack of sleep and all that involves taking care of a baby and your home and your older son and yourself ... well is just not a pretty picture. We've been through it once and it is hard. Hopefully this time we have more experience and we can handle things better, right? ... right? ... surely ... right??? :)

Only 3 more weeks

I can not believe we are only THREE WEEKS away, it is crazy how fast time went, although some evenings it feels that time is going soooo slow ... hahahahaha.

I can finally say her closet is somewhat ready for her arrival, I still have a big container of clothes Nicolas has outgrown that needs to be moved into the basement, but her dresser is filled with her stuff and so are those little hangers.

I work myself to exhaustion getting this done because I couldn't take it for another day, Sunday was supposed to be the day when I was going to work on all this, my good friend Kristie was coming over and it was going to be a fun lunch with an afternoon filled of work BUT that didn't happened since my throat decided to hurt and so did my head. So much for plans, I stayed in bed all day, slept most of the day thanks to my husband, who also didn't feel good but he took care of our son for most of the day. I have to say I did enjoyed that lazy morning in bed, with my boys, we lay there with our eyes closed while Nicolas watched some cartoons, took turns going into the kitchen to get us some food. It was fun even though we didn't feel good.

My mother-in-law offered to come and help last night so we got things started and after she left I just couldn't stop, it was 11:30 by the time I was done but AMEN for that, it's done. I also washed the car seat covers, yes someone let us borrow one too so this time we won't have to be passing around the one car seat from my car to Matt's truck, this time we'll each have one, we've been beyond blessed with all the things we've gotten. I mean this closet is full and I even had to give some stuff away, most of this stuff are hand-me-downs that were in perfect shape. of course we've also received countless gift from showers that my friends have so sweetly put together for us.

Speaking of showers, we had another one this past Saturday, this one I knew about :0) what I didn't know was that the girls were going to make Scrapbook pages for Emilia's book. It was so much fun and my favorite type of Scrapbooking, you know the kind where you just put the picture on the page that has already been made for you! We had a really good time, yummy food, sweet gifts and great company.

What can I say, I have wonderful friends. God has put each one of them in my life for a reason, just like He is giving us this baby girl we can not wait to hold in our arms.